Page 79 of The Wolves of Forest Grove

It was time to go.

The day went by in a blur of classes I couldn’t focus on and a shift at the bookshop that felt like it was over in minutes instead of hours.

At least Layla and Viv actually spoke to me today.

I mean, it wasn’t much, a quick conversation about the plan for the full moon, and them asking if we should make plans for my birthday.

I shut down the latter, telling them I’d rather not make a big thing out of it.

And I did my best to explain everything they needed to know about the former, glazing over the ugly bits.

I knew I should tell them all of it, but I just… couldn’t. Every time I tried it was like a knife drove deeper and deeper into my chest.

But we talked, and in my book, that was progress. Painful, slow progress, but still progress. The fact that they asked about my birthday—of all stupid things—gave me hope that it was more the situation they were angry at than me.

It didn’t erase any of my guilt, but it made it a bit easier to swallow.

I flicked off the lights and dug out the keys to lock up. Clay’s burly shadow appeared outside the front window a second later, and I sighed inwardly. Last night when I got home, he was there, sitting on the porch with a beer. Looked like he was ready to wait all night if he had to.

When he saw me coming, in my wolf form again, he gave one tight nod, as though to say good, you’re back. Then he lifted the two other empty bottles from the steps and disappeared into the cabin. When I entered, ass naked, a few minutes later, it was quiet, and his bedroom door was sealed shut.

I’d been thinking about how to explain what happened all day. I knew he was going to be here, that we were going to pack camp together and Jared would meet us there, but I still hadn’t figured out what to say.

I tugged the door closed behind me as I stepped outside, the bells rattling at the top of the door as I turned the key in the lock and readjusted my backpack on my shoulder, stuffing the shop keys into the little gap in the double zipper at the top.

“Hey,” he said, kicking off from a leaning stance on the wall.

“Before we go,” I said, biting my lip, trying to sort through my mess of thoughts. “I just wanted to apolo—”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, face reddening. “I shouldn’t have just left. I should have…I don’t know. Tried to make you feel better or some shit.”

He took a shaky breath.

“I’m, uh, not very good at…at…”

I cocked my head at him, holding in a laugh at his obvious discomfort. “At…being a boyfriend?”

He cringed. “Yeah. I guess.”

“Have you never had a girlfriend before?”

I had to ask. He had a reputation at Forest Grove High when he was a senior there. And with that face and those muscles, I couldn’t imagine him not dating.

He shrugged, leveling his bright blue eyes on me with a coy stare. “Depends what you think counts as dating.”

A furious blush found its way onto my cheeks, and I dropped my gaze before he could see. He may be inexperienced with the kind of dating I was used to. But I could say with confidence that I was definitely inexperienced in the sort of dating he was used to.

“Okay,” I said, suddenly eager to end this conversation. “So, I’m not going to say sorry and you’re not pissed at me anymore. I guess that means we’re good.”

Clay smirked. “Yeah, Allie. We’re good.”

Thank fuck for that. Or this would have been a really awkward drive.

Or not…

“Where’s the Jeep?”

Clay tipped his head to the sidewalk and began to walk, giving me a little tug on my jacket sleeve as he passed so I would follow him.

“Thought we’d run,” he said. “You haven’t shifted yet today.”

My stomach soured.

Right.

Under normal circumstances I’d be all right to miss a day, but we were going to pack camp. I was going to get my first orders from my alpha. It was easy to read between the lines of Clay’s words.

I needed to shift before I faced him so I could keep myself under control.

Ryland wasn’t feeling particularly patient lately from what I’d heard when Charity came to visit a few days ago. She got chewed out for helping Quinn and was stuck on security detail, policing the new pack members all week and reporting back to Ry.

“That’s probably a good idea.”

Clay and I veered off the main road and onto a side street. Another few blocks and it would dead-end in the trees and we could shift.

“Have you spoken to Jared today?” I hedged, wondering if he’d said anything to Clay about what happened between us last night.

This whole sharing thing was going to take some getting used to.

The only way it would work was for us to be honest with each other and to set those ground rules Jared mentioned.

We’d have to have another toe-curling chat to do that soon.

Clay bowed his head. “Yeah. I should’ve figured you’d go there.”

He didn’t say it with any ire, just a sort of resigned, careful tone, and I knew right away they’d talked about it. My belly flipped. That was a conversation I was super glad I wasn’t there for.

“We kind of established a ground rule,” he continued when I didn’t comment.

My brows lowered. “What’s that?”

“No fucking.”

“What?” I choked, a bit shell-shocked at how casually he was just throwing that word out there in that context.

He cut his gaze to me, eyeing me sidelong as we walked. “No. Fucking.”

I ground my teeth together, remembering how difficult it had been to stop. Both with Clay and with Jared. I wondered if it was because they were both over eighteen and I was still seventeen?

I mean, I’d be eighteen in just days from now, but neither of them knew that.

Or it could be that neither could stand the thought of the other being that intimate with me.

Then, there was also the possibility that neither of them wanted to.

That one hurt the most.

“Fine,” I said, unable to keep the biting tone from my words. “It’s not like either of you asked me, but…” I trailed off, shrugging.

“Allie—”

“No, it’s cool. I get it.”

“I don’t think you do.”

“Can we just not talk about this right now?”

I walked off the streetlamp lit street and stepped into the brush, moving inward to where the shadows hung more heavily to provide us the cover we would need to shift unseen.

Clay grunted and followed me, kicking off his shoes when we stopped. I opened my backpack and put my own shoes inside. Followed by my jeans, sweater, and tank top.

Clay had his shirt and socks off and was just unbuttoning his jeans when he paused, his mouth slightly agape as I unclasped my bra.

Still heated with fury at him and Jared for making a decision like that without my even so much as being present for it, I was feeling a little brazen. Maybe a little vindictive.

The clasp came free, and the chill of the evening brushed over my breasts as I dropped the bra into my bag with the rest of my clothes. A muscle in his neck twitched.

“Allie,” he growled, a warning.

“What?” I asked, the word dripping sarcasm as I hooked my fingers into the top of my panties, suddenly grateful I didn’t wear my hello kitty ones, but the simple black ones with the sporty waistband. “Your rules. Not mine.”

His nostrils flared and a fraction of a second before I worked up the courage to drop my panties, he turned his head to the side, averting his glowing blue stare. His hands clenched so tightly I could see every curve of his knuckles beneath the strained white flesh.

Perhaps a little too pleased with myself, I bent and zipped my backpack and then shifted, only a small cry leaving my lips before my wolf took over and I was staring up at Clay from all fours.

Clay trained his haughty stare on me, his face red. Glad my wolf seemed to be on the same page as me,

we sat still, staring at him with a little crook to our neck. Ready for the show.

Realizing what I was doing, Clay grimaced. “Want to turn around?”

We stared.

His brows lowered, and he turned around, dropping his jeans and shifting in one fluid motion that only afforded the briefest glance at his muscled ass and thick thighs. It was enough.

I lifted the pack from the forest floor with my teeth and took off at a sprint, leaving Clay to fumble to pick up his shoes and follow.

Not cool, Allie, his words floated through my mind as I ran.

Which part? I asked, finding it difficult to be sorry in the slightest.

You know which part.

I smiled, buoyant as we ran side by side, taking the long way around the creek and against the mountainside. Both of us needing the extra miles to cool off before we got there.

Pack camp buzzed with noise and energy as we approached.

My wolf could sense all the new pack members.

She caught every individual scent on the wind.

Clay and I came to a halt close enough to see down into the camp if we really strained our eyes, but far enough away that we could get dressed again without anyone seeing.

Clay might’ve been used to getting naked in front of the other shifters—it seemed second nature to them—but I had a feeling it would be a while before I got used to it. I may have teased Clay in the woods, but there was no way I wanted to show my goods to an entire pack if I could help it.

I shifted back, falling to my knees as a wave of dizziness washed over me, the world tipping up for a second before it leveled out. I held on to the earth for dear life until the vertigo passed.

“Hey,” Clay said brusquely, and I felt his human hands curl over my shoulders and shuddered at the contact. “What just happened? You good?”

I struggled to swallow past a dry lump in my throat and caught my breath. Stars crowded at the edges of my vision.

“Yeah,” I managed. “Bullshit.”

He turned me to him, careful to keep his gaze level with mine. I can’t say I did the same. Even with the stars in my eyes, his…package…was hard to miss.

Clay’s index finger lifted my chin, and his blue eyes bored into mine.

“When was the last time you ate?” I blinked.

And as though it was crying out for aid, my stomach growled loudly. I cringed.

“Um. Breakfast.”