Page 40 of The Wild Rose of Kilgannon (Kilgannon #2)

“Yes.” I breathed on his skin and kissed my way across a rib. “And even when I was so angry with you, even later when you’d brought me back to Louisa’s, I remembered you doing that, kissing each bruise on my neck, and what it did to me.”

“Rather like what yer doing to me now?”

I laughed. “Not exactly,” I said and bent to my task.

Somewhat later he pulled me against him and kissed me soundly. “Your lips,” I cautioned but he laughed.

“Healed, lass. Quite healed. And now, Mary Rose, it’s yer turn.

Come, lassie, let’s get these clothes off ye.

I’ve some healing to do, I’m thinking.” He helped me remove my bodice and skirt and he wondered at how little my body had changed with the pregnancy.

But when he moved to let me lie next to him, he winced, and I paused, knowing he was in pain, and that my remedy was inadequate for what he was facing.

I began to cry then and he held me to him gently, his caresses gradually growing more insistent.

Our lovemaking was silent and gentle, as if we were each afraid that the other would break.

Afterward I lay in his arms and looked at the ceiling, telling myself to memorize the feel of his body stretched next to mine, the sound of his heart beating, the silk of his skin as I caressed him from hip to thigh, finding an unbattered spot.

And when he slept I watched him, feeling both father and son against me, separated only by a thin veil of skin.

And at last I slept as well, wondering how much longer we’d have before we were separated.

Moments, perhaps, I thought, and drifted off.

Sometime in the middle of the night we found comfort in each other again and then lay in gratification in the dark, talking of inconsequential things.

Then he paused and smoothed a hand over my hair.

“This might be the last time we’re together talking like this, ye ken.

” He pulled me closer. “I love ye, Mary Rose. Ye’ve made me verra happy and I’m no’ afraid to die.

When they lead me to the platform I will have yer face in my mind. ”

“How can you talk so calmly of this?” I whispered.

“How can I not? Do ye no’ think I live with it every minute?

I faced it long ago, lass. After Sherrifmuir I kent I was lost.” He sat up and lit the candle, facing me in the dim light.

“I kent the risks when I joined the rebellion, Mary. Like it or no’, it’s right that I am here the now.

I ask my clan to obey the law and if they dinna, to suffer the consequences.

How can I no’ see the comparison with this?

I dinna choose to have lost a rebellion and now be considered a traitor, but it is what happened.

I see the correctness of this.” He raked his hand through his hair.

“But I wish they would get on with it. If they’re going to kill me, I wish they’d just do so.

The waiting is far harder than I imagined.

” He sighed. “But so be it. This is where we are. And soon where I am will matter to no one.”

I sat up and faced him, pulling the blanket to my throat. “It will always matter to me, Alex.”

“It will fade,” he said quietly.

“No.”

“Make it fade, Mary.”

I shook my head furiously. “No. Never. Never, Alex. I will never let you go. You promised to be with me always.”

“I canna change that I am to die.”

“Then come to me after death. If it is possible, come to me. Promise me. Promise me!” I heard my shrill voice ring against the stones. His mouth twisted and he reached for me again. I could feel his ragged breath as he held me and I tightened my arms.

“I’ll never deny ye anything, lass. If it is possible, I will come to ye.” I nodded then, satisfied with what little I had.

The boys were allowed to see Alex the next day, brought by Gilbey, who met our questions as to how long I’d be staying with shrugs. And he brought me fresh clothes and toiletries. “DeBroun suggested it, Mary,” he said quietly to me while Alex sat with his sons across the room.

“Do they mean to allow me to remain?”

He shrugged. “Louisa is very troubled, but Harry says ye’ll come to no harm here. They all say to tell ye the boys will be fine and no’ to worry about them. And yer brother promises to no’ cause a stink as long as yer well. Have the people here told ye nothing? ”

“No. When they brought more food they would not talk. What can this be?”

Gilbey looked at my dishevelment and gave me a quick grin. “I’d say you were a persuasion, Mary, for good behavior.” I smiled wryly, ignoring my flaming cheeks. Gilbey looked over at Alex and then met my eyes. “Enjoy this time. Ye ken Alex will tell them nothing.” I nodded.

We had a week. Gilbey visited each day and brought us news. And more. He brought maps and charts and sat with Alex at the table, poring over them when they thought I slept in the afternoon. I lay in the bed, shielded by the hangings, and listened.

“Here, Gilbey,” Alex said, and I raised myself up on one elbow and watched through the gap in the hangings.

Alex was pointing to a spot on the map before them.

“This is the best place. They’ll bring me past here if I’m to hang on Tower Hill, so ye’ll have to be hiding among the crowd right here.

Any further and the soldiers will be able to be more abreast. But right here they’ll have to narrow down to one or two on each side. Tell Angus.”

“Aye,” Gilbey said. “If it’s Tower Hill. What if they decide not to hang you there? What if they bring ye to Newgate?” They both looked up at my gasp, and Gilbey took a step back from the table as I clambered from the bed and approached them.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Planning how to be rescued, lass,” Alex said evenly.

“On the way to my execution.” I sank into a chair and looked at the map before us, then nodded at them.

Alex looked up at Gilbey. “Aye, lad, we’ll look at that as well.

” He met my eyes. “Mary,” he said, “I’m trying to plan for any eventuality.

When they take ye from me, and ye ken they will, I want ye to get out of London.

Yer being here will give the English a target.

They ken yer our weakness, ye and the boys.

Get yerself out of the line of fire.” When I didn’t respond he frowned. “Mary…”

“They may not hang you, Alex,” I said and he frowned again.

“What d’ye mean?”

“What if they give you transportation to the colonies or Barbados? How will Angus rescue you then?”

Alex laughed. “We’d no’ thought of that, lass,” Alex said and glanced at Gilbey. “Next time bring the charts of the Thames and offshore.”

Gilbey nodded.

The fourth day of my stay, Alex was taken for “questioning.”