Page 13 of The Wild Rose of Kilgannon (Kilgannon #2)

I raised my chin, willing my voice not to betray my emotion.

“Robert,” I said coldly, “did you not hear what Alex said to the men today? He asked that you be welcomed as our guests. He will not breach his promise, nor will the men of Kilgannon. If Alex told you he will go with you tomorrow, he will go. He has given his word. Alex does not make vows lightly.” Robert nodded, his movements tight, but before he could answer there was a commotion at the door.

I labored to see and then heard Ian and Jamie calling to Alex.

The crowds of people moved aside to let them throw themselves at their father.

“Are those his sons?” Robert asked in a strained voice. We watched the boys leap into Alex’s arms. Alex clutched them to him, his head bent over theirs as they kissed him.

“Yes,” I said. “Those are our sons, Robert.” I left him then and went to stand next to my husband.

My husband , I thought. For how long? No matter how bravely I had answered Robert, I wanted Alex to run, to escape, to live.

But as I brushed the hair from his shoulders and listened to him laugh with the boys, I knew what he would do.

I had known all along what could happen.

When Thomas and the other men had come home and told their stories, I had realized that it was in Alex’s mind to save as many MacGannon lives as possible, even if Kilgannon itself was lost. If he had to sacrifice himself to keep these people safe, he would think it a necessary sacrifice.

But I never would. If I could keep him alive and with me, I would risk anything.

With that thought still in my mind, I looked across the sea of faces turned so trustingly to him.

Perhaps, I admitted to myself, perhaps in his position I would do the same.

He had been raised with the sacredness of his responsibilities trained into him.

They were as much a part of him as his coloring and height.

I stroked his shoulder and he turned with a smile and patted my hand.

“The people want to have another ceremony to mourn the men we lost, Mary Rose, and I canna do it this dirty. Will ye have a bath prepared? And will ye bring the boys up with ye too? I’ll be with ye shortly.

” He kissed my forehead as I nodded. “I would talk with ye, lass, but first I must get clean and talk to my sons. We may have to wait until later to be alone.” I nodded again and reached for the boys, who were reluctant to leave him until I explained that he would come to us upstairs.

I called for hot water and asked Berta to see to rooms for Robert and his men and then I left, knowing she would take care of everything.

We waited in our bedroom. I spent the time trying to think of words persuasive enough to convince Alex to escape and stared out the window, wondering how many more times in my life I would be waiting for him to join me.

When the door opened, the boys jumped up from their seats and ran to him and he met my eyes above their heads.

I’d forgotten how he filled the doorway, how his form was masculine but graceful, how his hair traced the corner of his brow, and how very blue his eyes were.

And how he made my body ache for him with just a glance.

“I’m home, Mary Rose,” he said quietly. “For one night at least. I just never imagined it would be like this.”

“Nor I, but I’ll take whatever we can get,” I said. “I love you, Alex.” I felt my chin tremble and struggled to control it .

“And I ye, Mary.”

“And I love ye, Da,” Jamie said, throwing his arms around his father’s waist. “But yer verra dirty.”

Ian laughed. “Aye, Da, ye are. Did ye no’ bathe off at war?”

Alex laughed, then grinned slowly, picking up a boy in each arm and rubbing them against his sides.

“Now we’re all dirty, eh, lads? And now we’ll all get clean.

” He hauled the giggling boys into the adjoining room, where a tub of water waited for him.

He dropped them into the tub fully clothed.

It got worse then, as the boys splashed their father until he surrendered, leaving all four of us and most of the room wet.

I shooed the boys out of the tub and Alex shed his clothes quickly and climbed into it.

I insisted on washing the blood and grime out of his hair and tried not to comment on the bruises that covered him and the new long scar that ran from his breast to his waist, jagged as it crossed his ribs, the healing barely begun.

And he tried to ignore my tears and compressed lips, but he saw them and he kissed my hand as I gently sponged his battered cheek.

He joked and teased the boys until they were giggling again.

In our room Alex dressed quickly, his mood growing sober.

When he was dressed he kissed me and then sat on the edge of our bed, gesturing the still-damp boys to him.

I sat next to him, suddenly reluctant to hear anything he had to say.

Think of something , I commanded myself.

Think of something to convince him to leave . Alex looked from one boy to the other.

“Ye ken we won the battle at Sherrifmuir, lads?”

“We heard no one won, Da,” said Ian.

“We won,” Alex said firmly. “We won.” Two little heads nodded solemnly.

“And then we lost in a different way. The Stewart ran away, leaving us to fend for ourselves.” My heart sank at his words.

He will not even try to escape , I thought.

He will never run away. I have known that all along .

I patted the dripping ends of his hair with the towel.

“Thomas told us,” whispered Ian.

Alex nodded. “Aye. James Stewart called us all to fight for him and we did and then he ran away and left us to take care of ourselves. So the English won the war after all.”

“Ye lost the war?” asked Jamie.

“Aye. We lost it when the Stewart ran away. And now the English king and his soldiers are in control of Scotland once again. We had to come home from a long way away and we got separated from each other. That’s why Angus and the others came home first.” His eyes met mine over his sons’ heads as he continued.

“But I canna stay. I have to go with the soldiers tomorrow.” The boys exclaimed.

“Where, Da? Where will ye go?” Jamie tugged at Alex’s sleeve while Ian watched with troubled eyes. “Ye just got home!”

Alex ruffled Jamie’s hair. “I ken that, lad. Do ye remember when we talked a long time ago about giving yer word?” The boys nodded.

“Well, I gave my word to Robert Campbell. I dinna wish to go, but I must. If I go with them no one here will be hurt and if I dinna go many people will die. So I will go with them.”

“Where will ye go?” Jamie asked.

Alex’s tone was quiet. “The English will put me in prison.”

“Prison!” Ian cried. Alex nodded .

“Da,” Jamie said in horror. “They’ll hit ye again.”

Alex smiled wryly and put his hand to his bruised cheek. “Do ye mean this?”

Jamie nodded.

“They might.” Alex suddenly grinned. “But, Jamie lad, I knocked the man who gave me this senseless, so perhaps they’ll think twice before trying that again, no?

” Both boys nodded and I rose and walked to the window, unable to bear another moment.

I traced the lead of the window with a finger.

I knew Alex watched me but his voice behind me was calm.

“Ye must understand something else as well. I may no’ ever come home again. I made an agreement that I would do as they asked.” The boys cried out and I turned and met Alex’s eyes.

“Will they kill ye?” Ian whispered.

Alex looked at me over Ian’s head. And then he looked at his oldest son and nodded. “Aye,” he said slowly. “It is most likely.”

“No!” Ian shouted, pulling on Alex’s arm. “No, Da! Don’t let them kill ye!” Next to him Jamie wailed. Alex hugged them fiercely to him and sank his face in their hair as they cried.

“I ken it is hard to understand what happened,” he said.

“I hardly understand it myself. But ken this, lads: I made this decision. It was my choice, and it is the correct thing to do. If I go to prison, even if I die, and everyone else here at Kilgannon lives, that is a good thing. If I run away like James Stewart and leave the people behind me to fend for themselves, then I would be a coward, and no MacGannon is a coward.” His voice was gruff and he raised a fist. “We’re brave! MacGannons are brave! ”

“Brave!” Two small voices echoed him hollowly. I turned away, my hand at my throat. He would not even try to escape. And he was teaching his sons to live by the same code. I felt sick.

“And we don’t run away,” Alex said. “Never.”

“Never,” said Ian, and Jamie echoed him.

Alex’s voice was normal again. “Even if ye are afraid. Especially if ye are afraid.”

“Are ye afraid, Da?” Jamie asked.

“Aye, Jamie, of course I am, but I gave my word and I will go. Now, promise me to be good for yer mother and do as she says.”

“We will, Da,” Jamie said.

Ian threw himself in his father’s arms. “Don’t go, Da! Can’t we go somewhere where they canna find you?”

Alex patted his back and kissed his hair. “Aye, I could, Ian, but I won’t. I gave my pledge. I must go with them.” He slapped his thighs. “And now, my laddies, ye must come with me while I tell the people what will happen. When I leave I willna be laird anymore and they must ken that.”

“What will happen?”

“I dinna ken. The English will decide what happens to Kilgannon. Ye and yer brother will go to Mary’s family.”

“We have to leave too?” Ian cried. “Can we no’ go with ye?”

“No,” Alex said. “I wish ye could. Or, I wish I could go with ye. But we canna go together. Now go, lads, and change yer clothes and meet me downstairs. We must be clean when we talk to everyone. Go on with ye now. I’ll be with ye shortly. ”

With a glance at me they started for the door. Halfway there Ian turned. “Da, do ye really have to go?” he asked, his voice wavering.

Alex nodded. “Aye, Ian. I wish it were not so, but I do.”

“And we have to leave too?”

“Aye, but ye’ll be most brave, aye?”

Ian nodded solemnly and left us, his brother behind him.

We were alone.