Page 21 of The Wild Rose of Kilgannon (Kilgannon #2)

He met my look without hesitation. “It means he will probably die. He’ll be tried and executed as a traitor.”

The roaring in my ears grew louder. “And if that happens?”

He lifted his chin. “I will be waiting.”

“You will be waiting. For what, Robert?”

“For you, Mary.”

“For me,” I said, watching him in growing despair. And anger. “Have I no say in this? Did you and Alex discuss me on your journey? Did he agree? Was I part of an agreement, a bargain?”

He met my look unflinchingly. “Alex asked me to keep you safe if it were in my power. Nothing more. And I agreed.”

I searched his face, looking for his intent. “I took vows, Robert,” I said slowly. “I will never break them. Not out of fear, not out of gratitude. I want you to understand that. I am not to be bartered. There is to be no misunderstanding of our relationship if I go with you. ”

He straightened his shoulders. “Mary, you have no choice but to go with me, and I will not leave without all three of you.”

“Why? Why not leave the boys here?”

He shook his head. “You do not understand. I have been sent here to remove Kilgannon’s family. All of it.”

“Then take the whole clan.”

He whirled away and then back. “Damn, Mary, do you have to be so difficult?”

“Yes,” I said and surprised a smile from him that faded as soon as it had blossomed.

I moved from the fireplace and circled the room, moving behind the desk.

He watched me silently. At last I paused and looked up at him.

“Why did you let Alex come home, Robert? Why did you bring him here and not directly to Edinburgh or to meet the others?”

“Malcolm.”

“Malcolm?” I could hear the surprise in my voice. “Malcolm?”

He nodded. “I despise the man. He sold his brother, Mary. He got paid for his information. Not by me, but he got paid. When he told me of the letter he had written, supposedly from me, I was sickened. He led his brother into a trap and used my name, knowing what effect it would have on Alex.” His voice was raw now.

“The countryside was in chaos. What difference did it make if I let him come home to you when we were so close?”

My tone was wintry. “I thank you for your kindness.”

He leaned over the desk. “I wanted to see what you had left me for.”

I took a step backward, shaking my head. “I was never with you, Robert, so I could not have left you. ”

He withdrew. “No,” he said, his voice bleak.

“How fortunate that you were there to find Alex on his way home,” I said coldly. “Of all people, it was you. You.”

He shook his head. “It was not fortunate, Mary. It was no accident. Malcolm came to find me in Stirling and told me where Alex would be. It was a simple task to get permission to hunt down the Earl of Kilgannon and bring him back for trial.”

I struggled to keep my calm. “I see. Thank you for not killing him when you had the opportunity.”

“I was under orders to bring him back. The English want the Highlands subdued permanently. His will be a very public trial.”

“I see.”

“Do you, Mary? You do not know what’s happening in the rest of Britain! How can you when you’re out here with no contact?”

My anger exploded. I could hear my voice getting louder as I spoke but I could not stop the torrent of words.

“I care not what is happening in the rest of Britain, Robert. I only care what is happening to my world, and my world has collapsed! And you aided the process. How do you feel now, now that you’ve brought Alex to prison where they will put him on trial as a spectacle for the masses?

Where they will probably torture him and kill him as an example?

He went with you even though he could have escaped.

I begged him to escape, but he wouldn’t leave, nor would he let his men kill you.

Instead he treated you as a favored guest. He went with you because he is a man of honor and he said he could not betray your trust in him.

You knew all this and still you tore him from me!

To die, Robert! You took him from me so that he could die but his blood wouldn’t be on your hands.

How do you feel, Robert?” I glared at him.

He met my look evenly. “I feel that I did my duty.”

“To whom? Your king? Or to your own desires? You had your chance to marry me and you did not take it. How is it that now that I belong to Alex I am suddenly the most desirable woman on earth?”

We stared at each other and Robert was the one to turn away.

He waved his hands in the air and shook his head as he moved to look out the window.

When at last he spoke it was calmly, but he spoke to the window.

“Do not be stubborn, Mary. I will not overstep the bounds you set.” He turned to look at me over his shoulder.

“I simply want you safe. As does Alex. Please come with me. For now.” He moved to stand in front of me, his voice soft at first. “Mary, I know you love the man. You must believe me that I did what I could to save him, to make this easier, not more difficult. If I were really only trying to please myself, I could have killed him in that pass and no one would have been the wiser. I could have come to you after that and forcibly removed you. I did not do either. I will not force you in Edinburgh. I love you, Mary, but I don’t come to you now and ask you to break your marriage vows.

For God’s sake, what have I ever done that makes you so distrust me?

” He threw his arms up and paced the room, shouting, his control suddenly gone.

“I could have had Alex’s life snuffed out, several times!

And believe me, I thought of it! I spent hours wrestling with the idea.

There would have been no one to gainsay me.

But I did not. I saved him. More than once.

” He spun around and faced me, his face twisted in agony.

“I saved him for you! For you, Mary! And I brought him back to you. Do you have any idea of what I felt being under this roof with you with him, with you looking at him as if he were a god and I nonexistent? Do you remember even speaking to me? Do you not think I knew I was under his protection? But pray remember, Mary, I had kept him from death myself and he owed me.” He looked down at his hands and then up at me, speaking this time in a low voice.

“I did what I could to let him have his last farewell to you and his sons and to this place. It was no joy to me to know you were with him, but it was for you that I did it. For you, Mary. Always. For you.”

He walked to the other side of the room and looked at the books on the shelves.

“And for him, damn it. When we rode to meet the others in Edinburgh, we talked as we never have. We talked of you, of course, but we also talked of duty and honor and Scotland. I respect him. He is a good man. I had hoped that there was nothing under the arrogance, that he was nothing but a handsome shell. But I was wrong. I can understand why they follow him. And I understand why you love him.” He took a deep breath.

“But, Mary, I do not think that he will live through this. I think that at best he will be imprisoned and then tried and put to death. And you’re right, it will be as an example.

And it will be horrible. I have never thought of myself as primarily Scottish, but, what I have seen, it stirs my blood with anger.

I am at the brink of rebellion myself. I can understand…

” He turned from me to stare at the wall as his words trailed off.

He was silent so long that I wondered if he would continue, and after a very long pause he did.

“If he does live, so be it. He is your husband and I acknowledge that. Perhaps…” He looked at the ceiling and then at me.

“All I ask is that you come with me now peaceably and be in my care. You and the boys. You cannot leave them here, not in these uncertain times. I can offer you my protection. All I’m asking is to let me guard you from those who would destroy you.

Come with me and be safe and we’ll think of the future later.

Come with me for now, Mary. Only for now. Please.”

He turned away and I stared at his back, searching his words for traces of deception.

And found none. Dear God , I thought, I cannot distrust this man .

I’d had no idea that there was so much passion in him.

Why had he never let me see it before? And I believed him.

God help me , I thought, I believe him. Alex , I cried silently, if I am wrong, forgive me.

I do not know what else to do . Robert turned, waiting for my response. I met his eyes and nodded.

“For now, Robert.”