Page 18 of The Wild Rose of Kilgannon (Kilgannon #2)

He nodded. “So ye will, then.” He told me the same story I’d heard before, but paused when he talked about Malcolm arriving in Perth.

“I realized then that we will never be reconciled.” He looked into the distance, his voice quiet.

“It’s as though I saw him for the first time, lass.

I’ve been making excuses for him for so long that when I saw him again, smirking and lying and manipulating as he does, I was shamed that we had the same blood and I could see him for what he was, for what he’s always been.

I couldna stay longer. I dinna ken how long I could control myself, so I left.

” He spread his hands before him and stared at them, his voice a whisper.

“I was afraid I’d kill him.” He looked at me in horror.

“My own brother. If he’d opened his mouth with one more lie I might have killed him. So I left.”

“Angus was furious.”

Alex nodded. “Aye. Angus was ready to murder him. I never should have agreed to meet him.” He stared into the flames. “I dinna think he’d hand me to them, though.” Blue eyes met mine. “I dinna think it true until I saw it for myself.”

“How did they capture you, my love?”

“Well, ye ken we were at Lachlan’s house?

” I nodded. “We got that damned letter and something dinna ring true. I thought perhaps Malcolm had written it but I dinna want to believe it. I preferred to think it was Robert.” He paused, then met my eyes evenly.

“But Robert wouldna have asked a boy to deliver his terms. He wouldna risk a child’s life.

” Alex rubbed his chin as he stared across the room.

“Mary Rose, yer Robert Campbell has been most generous. When I saw him in the glen with Malcolm I assumed he wanted my death and that was why he was after me. But he could have killed me many times and he dinna. He has been a gentleman. I dinna understand why he brought me home to ye, lass, but I’m grateful.

In another time I would have been proud to call him friend.

” He smiled wryly. “Except that he wants my wife.”

“Alex,” I said quietly, “he has been my friend, nothing more.”

His eyes met mine. “On the surface, aye,” he said. “But, Mary Rose, it’s no’ yer friendship he wants. ”

“I have a husband.”

“For the now.”

“Forever,” I whispered. He stroked my hand and stared into space while I watched him in the flickering light from the fire. The last time , I thought, the last time you’ll lie with him in bed and talk . “What if they’d killed you in the pass, Alex?”

“Lass, what were my choices? We could have fought them, but I had twenty-two men and Robert had a hundred. We were hungry and weary and Robert’s men went to bed with full bellies.

If we fought them we’d lose. No matter how well we fought, eventually we’d lose and we’d all be dead or captured.

I thought that if Robert would take me and let the rest go, then it was the only sensible choice. ”

“So you turned back and let them decide to kill you or not?”

He shook his head. “My horse was wearying. I knew if I faced Robert’s men with my sword drawn they’d kill me on the spot. I felt I had to talk to Robert but I couldna get to where I’d planned, so I turned around to meet them.”

“And they attacked you?”

He nodded. “One did. Robert was shouting at his men to stop but one man dinna listen. He came at me with a claymore and by then I had my own out. I killed him, but he’d knocked me off the horse and the rest jumped on me. I dinna remember anything else until I woke up in their camp.”

“Matthew thought you were dead.”

“Aye. Well, when that man came at me, so did I.” He stroked his chin, fingering the stubble on it. “It might have been better if I was.”

“What happened in the camp? ”

“Robert and I talked and he told me his terms, which were for the most part the same as the letter, though he dinna write it. Malcolm did, ye ken, and Malcolm sent it with Robert not kenning of it. I agreed to the terms and then Robert said he’d take me here before going back for the trial. I dinna argue and here we are.”

“So you bartered your freedom for ours.”

He met my gaze solemnly. “Would it be better for Kilgannon to be in ruins, Mary Rose? I’ve been a dead man since Sherrifmuir, or at least a marked one.

The English have no choice, lass. If they dinna punish the rebels, the movement will grow.

If they chop off the head, eventually the body will stop fighting.

All of us who joined will pay. I dinna ken how dearly.

Do ye remember the Treason Act? I’ve no illusions.

Nor should ye, lass. I’ll no’ be coming home again. ”

How could he be so very matter-of-fact about it? Dear God , I prayed, let me be as brave as he is . “You are very direct, sir,” I said, trying to keep my tone light.

He looked at me for a long moment and then a smile played around the corners of his mouth.

“Aye,” he said, nodding. “I’ve told ye. It saves time.

” I was unable to speak as he leaned forward to kiss my shoulder.

I pulled him down to me and kissed his mouth and we made love again, slowly and gently, lingering deliberately as though we had years, not moments left.

It was dawn when I woke again. Alex stood at the window, looking across the glen. I wrapped my robe around me and went to him. He put an arm around me and kissed me, his voice husky. “I dinna deserve ye as a wife, lass, but I’m damned glad I had ye.”

“There’s more than one way that can be interpreted,” I said and felt the rumble of laughter in his chest as he held me tighter.

“Then I mean all of them,” he said and smiled.

The door burst open then and the boys tumbled into the room and into their father’s arms. By the time I was dressed and ready to go downstairs, they were laughing and punching each other.

Ellen came to the door asking for instructions, and Alex looked at me over the boys’ heads.

“Go on down without me, lass,” he said. “I have a few things to say to my sons. We’ll be down soon.

” The boys looked at me, waiting to take their cue from my behavior.

I must be as brave as Alex , I thought. If I can be . I nodded and followed Ellen.

The hall was crowded, so crowded that I stopped at the top of the stairs, taking in the scene.

Most of the clan was here and watched me descend.

Some of Robert’s men lined the walls but they were being ignored and made no move to join the clanspeople.

Angus moved from the crowd to meet me at the foot of the stairs.

“Are ye aright, lass?” he asked kindly. I nodded, fighting the tears that threatened.

“Robert Campbell is no’ down yet, but the important people are here.

And Seamus has his lads outside. They’ll pipe him away properly.

” I nodded shakily and managed to thank him.

His eyes filled with tears and he turned away abruptly with a squeeze of my hand.

I was surrounded then by the people who wanted to express their sorrow and anger.

I heard their comments with nods and thanks but I understood none of them.

A deep roaring filled my ears and I felt as if I was looking through a tunnel.

And then the room hushed and I looked up through my fog and saw Alex and the boys standing at the top of the stairs.

Alex wore his best plaid and a white shirt under the green doublet, his plaid over his shoulder.

He looked as he had the night I’d met him.

He met my eyes with a nod and I watched him descend, his sons’ hands clasped firmly in his own.

A pale Ian wore his great-grandfather’s brooch.

Alex’s sword was tucked in Jamie’s belt and dragged on the ground.

Above them Robert stood without expression.

At Alex’s appearance a clamor had erupted from the people and they pressed toward him.

Robert and his men made no move toward Alex and I relaxed for a moment.

Whatever their plan, it was not to tear him from us yet.

Alex was enclosed by the clan and eventually was ushered to a table and handed food.

The boys left his side for a moment or two, only to return immediately.

His hand was always on one of them, touching a shoulder or holding a hand, and Angus was next to him constantly.

But Alex’s eyes kept finding mine and I moved closer until I was by his side and his arm was around me.

It would be easy to imagine he was setting out for a voyage or a visit to family, not to his trial, I thought.

His trial and possible death. What would they do to him?

I felt again the paralyzing wave of fear.

If the court declared it, he could be given a traitor’s death.

Hanging, disemboweling, and quartering. I drew a shuddering breath and felt myself swaying.

Alex’s arm tightened around me. Dear God , I prayed, grant him mercy.

No man should have to suffer so and not this man who was no traitor to anyone .

He squeezed me to him as he whispered in my ear, ignoring the crowd around us.

“Dinna fear, lass. Take the boys and go to yer family and be safe.” I looked into his eyes. It was impossible that those blue eyes could soon be empty of life. He stroked my hair. “I love ye, Mary MacGannon. Never forget that. I love ye and I’m sorry.”

“I love you, Alex,” I said, “and I’m not sorry you love me.”

He laughed shakily and kissed my forehead as Ian and Jamie squeezed between us, pointing to Robert standing with his men at the door. “Da,” Ian said. “They say ye must go now. Can ye no’ tell them no?”

Alex bent down until he was on a level with his sons. “When a MacGannon gives his word, lads,” he said, “he must keep it. I gave my word that I would go with Robert and he gave me his that no one at Kilgannon would be harmed. Do ye remember me tellin’ ye all that yesterday?”

Ian nodded. “Aye, Da, but I dinna want ye to go.”

“I dinna want ye to go, Da,” echoed Jamie.

Alex looked from Ian to Jamie and back. “Nor I, lads,” he said, “but I must. Promise me one thing. Promise me ye’ll take care of each other and yer mother.”

“Aye, Da,” said Ian.

Jamie nodded. “Aye, Da.”

Alex gathered them to him, kissing their cheeks. “Yer verra braw lads. Ye make me proud to be yer da. Dinna forget me, no?”

“No, Da,” they said, small arms winding around his neck.

“Now go tell them I’m ready,” Alex said quietly as he stood.

We looked after the boys as they scurried away, and the crowd pushed between us saying their farewells.

The faces before me blurred and cleared and I felt the roaring in my ears again.

I took a deep breath, willing myself to be calm as Alex led me toward Robert.

Just before the door Alex stopped and wrapped his arms around me.

“Kiss me once more, lass, and…” His voice broke and he pressed his face into my hair.

“I love ye, Mary.” He paused for control and when he continued his voice was calm again.

“I’m sorry, lass, that it ended this way.

Take good care of yerself and my sons. Dinna let them forget who they are.

Tell them I tried.” I kissed him one last time.

“I love you, Alex,” I said, careless of who heard. “I’ll take good care of your sons. God keep you, my love. I will be waiting.”

Tears filled Alex’s eyes and with a squeeze of my hand he left me, then embraced Angus, speaking for a moment.

Angus patted his shoulder then stood back while Matthew and the others said their goodbyes, many openly weeping.

We followed them out into the courtyard and I stood on the steps with Robert and the boys as Alex climbed onto a horse.

One of Robert’s men started to bind Alex’s hands and a roar came from the clan.

Alex said something to the Campbell, who jumped back as if struck and looked at Robert for direction.

Robert nodded the man away and the people quieted.

Robert turned to me then, his eyes glacial, his voice cold.

“Three days, Mary,” Robert said. “I’ll be back for you in three days. Be ready.” I nodded, unable to speak.

The crowd stirred again as Robert made his way down the steps and leapt onto his horse, but no one moved to stop him.

Angus had been busy, I realized, for that was the only way these people would have let Alex leave without a struggle.

Alex looked at us as the pipers began, and I felt Ian straighten stiffly as he put his chin at a ridiculous height, Jamie following suit.

Alex nodded at them, the ghost of a smile playing around his mouth, and then met my eyes for a brief moment before Robert moved to his side, blocking my view.

We stood at the outer gate as they moved slowly toward the end of the loch.

Alex rode away with his back straight, surrounded by guards but unbound, his blond head a beacon among the dark ones of the soldiers.

The music swirled around us as Jamie held my hand and Ian wrapped his arm around my waist. Angus put a hand on my shoulder.

The pipers followed the riders, the crowd just behind them.

At the edge of the trees, Alex turned and waved, his white shirtsleeve brilliant against the green behind him, just as he had waved that morning when The MacKinnon had come to persuade him to join the rebellion and I’d experienced my first feeling of foreboding. And the day he’d left for war.

We waved until the last horse was gone and there was no one to see and then listened as “MacGannon’s Return” echoed hollowly from the forest.