Page 34 of The Wild Rose of Kilgannon (Kilgannon #2)

He blinked, then shook his head. “You will amaze me until the day I die, Mary Rose,” he said and turned abruptly away as his words echoed against the stones.

We stood in silence and at last he spoke, his voice very controlled.

“I pray that I still live when the child is born, Mary. I canna believe ye conceived that one night.” I stood frozen, looking at him.

“Alex?” My voice sounded strange to me. Alex turned to me with a puzzled expression. “Do you think that this child is not yours?”

He paled and blinked. “No,” he said in a strangled voice as he moved to me. “No, Mary, I’m no’ suggesting that. No.”

“It is your child.”

He met my eyes. “Lass,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion.

“I have never doubted ye. Never. I did wonder how ye could still love me, Mary, but I dinna think ye’d go to another man’s bed.

Not even Robert’s. Nor, God help me for believing good of him, did I think he’d ask ye while I live.

No, lass, all I’m thinking is how strange it was for ye to conceive that night when we tried so often earlier.

And now I willna be there to see this child grow up, or perhaps even born. ”

“I am trying to be as brave as you, but, Alex, if you doubt me, I cannot go on. I have never been unfaithful. Never.”

“Mary.” He gripped my arms. “Lass, I never doubted ye. Put it from yer mind. I was only in wonder at the timing. Mo Dia , Mary, do ye no’ think I ken ye better than that?

I asked ye to trust me that there was nothing between Morag and me and ye’ve asked me to trust ye about Robert.

That’s what a marriage is, lass, is trust and love.

” He released his grip and ran his hands up my arms as he shook his head.

“No, Mary, I’m just having a hard time being in here.

I kent that prison was a possibility, but I dinna ken how it would feel to be here.

” He smiled. “I’ve never lost before. ’Tis a harsh lesson.

I wake each day thinking it could be my last, and every moment I’m haunted by wondering what ye and the boys are doing and kenning I canna help ye.

I must rely on others, including the man who wants to take my place, and every part of me says I should be caring for ye and my sons.

But I canna, and to see ye like this, carrying my child all that time without me even kenning…

” He shook his head. “Well, lass, let’s just say it doesna sit well with me.

” He stroked my hair. “But I love ye truly, Mary MacGannon, and when I’m in my right mind I never doubt that ye love me as well. ”

I looked up at his face. “And when you’re not?”

“Well, lass, then I think on Robert Campbell waiting for my death and I go mad for a bit.”

“I will love you forever, Alex. Only you. Only you.”

“And I ye.” He held me to him fiercely.

“Alex,” I said to his chest, “we’re trying to get you freed.”

“Dinna bother, lass. It’s no likely they’ll release me. I dinna think the Pope could free me now.”

“Alex, we will try to free you.” I told him of selling everything from Kilgannon and the sale of the Katrine . He listened quietly and nodded, releasing me and pacing the room.

“Ye did well, lass, but I would prefer that now ye use the money for yer own needs. Ye will have many in the months to come, though it is good that yer family came to rescue ye. I’m glad they’re in yer camp.

I would no’ have ye be alone. Now, tell me, where is Angus?

Where are my men?” He listened quietly while I told about my last conversation with Angus, then sighed.

“I feared as much. Ye must find him, Mary, and tell him no’ to try to free me here by force.

It canna be done; I dinna want them to end up in here with me, or dead. ”

“I will. But, Alex, he says he will die trying to free you.”

Anger washed over his face. “Tell him I want no more deaths, and no’ Angus’s, of all people.

If he dies, Mary, then my sacrifice has been for naught.

We could have sat down in the snow last winter and let ourselves have a peaceful death.

I dinna struggle to return home and then let Robert capture me so that Angus and the men could die trying to free me from here.

” He waved his hand in an abrupt gesture.

“Ye see this place, lass. They have no chance to free me from here by force.” He took a deep breath.

“But there are other ways to get out, lass, smarter ways, and we need to discover them. I need ye to tell Angus that I’ve been told I can have a valet.

Have him send Gilbey to me as soon as he can.

I thought of Matthew, but he doesna look like a manservant, nor Angus, so Gilbey will have to do.

Tell him to look servile.” Alex laughed.

“We’ll see what a playactor he is. He’ll be our means of communication, lass, and we must have someone we can trust. Ye must find Angus and tell him these are my orders.

He mustna try to free me yet. I want other things taken care of in my absence, like Clonmor.

Do ye remember it? The property that I gave Malcolm?

Well, it’s still legally mine. The papers are at Kilgannon.

If someone can get there and find them, we can sell it, or at the least get him off my lands.

Ask Kenneth Ogilvie, the lawyer. He’ll do it.

” He frowned. “If it’s no’ included in the forfeiture.

I dinna ken. They have no’ given me the papers yet, but I have been told I’ve forfeited. ”

“Clonmor? Your mother’s lands are still yours?”

“Aye, we always meant to deed it over to Malcolm, but we never did.” He went to the window and looked out.

“We must discover if it’s included in the forfeiture.

If it is, then it’s gone and Malcolm canna have it either, but if it is no’, then perhaps the wisest would be to let everything settle and then ye can claim Clonmor after…

later. If we act on it now without kenning its status, the court will discover the truth and we may claim it only to have it seized.

We must discover what the law says. And I need Angus and Kenneth Ogilvie to do that. ”

“I will try to find Angus.”

“Someone will have to go to Kilgannon and get the papers.”

“We don’t need to, Alex. I emptied your desk, I brought all of your papers with me. Would Clonmor’s have been among them?”

“They were in the desk.”

“Then I have them at Louisa’s.”

He grinned at me. “Remind me to marry ye again.”

“I will hold you to that,” I said and leaned against him. He laughed as my arms went around his waist.

“Mary Rose,” he said, “I missed ye so.” And bent to kiss me.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on his soft lips.

He threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled me closer, tilting his head to kiss me more fully while I stroked his back, tracing my fingers down his ribs to his waist, and smiling to myself when I felt his body’s response.

We were lost in our embrace when the door opened.

I put my head on his chest and did not turn as the guard told Alex politely that it was time for me to go.

I could hear Alex’s heart beating steadily as he thanked the guard, and waited until the door closed.

I closed my eyes for a moment and tightened my arms around him, willing time to stop.

Alex was calm as he leaned back and looked into my face.

“Ye must tell Angus what I’ve said and what I need him to do. And tell my sons that I love them. Will ye do that?”

“I will,” I said, fighting for calm. He kissed me again, then stepped back, his arms falling to his sides.

“Go now, lass, while I can let ye leave.”

I nodded, my tears beginning again. “I love you, Alex.”

“And I you, Mary Rose. Until the end of time.”

“Until the end of time,” I said. At the threshold I turned back for one last look. He stood very still, his face pale against the gray stone. He raised a hand to wave and behind me I heard the clink of chains as his jailers waited to return him to his cell.

The boys were allowed to see him the next week, but I was not.

I told Ian to tell his father that I’d not found Angus, despite several visits to Westminster.

Alex sent word that he needed a valet as soon as possible.

I discussed it with my family and in the end, to my chagrin, my aunt’s butler, Bronson, never one of my favorite people, was the one chosen to act the part.

And then Harry’s requests for visits were denied.

We were not given an explanation but we soon discovered why.