Page 30 of The Weight Of It All

He closed the fridge door with two bottled waters in his hand. “Yep. My metabolism is kinda fast. I burn a lot of calories at work, so I usually just keep fruit and protein bars with me. You’ll get used to it.” Then he made a face. “If you want to get used to it, that is.”

I put the salad stuff on the counter and took one of the bottles of water he was holding. “I would like to get used to it.”

He grinned, but he blushed a little as he nodded. “Good. Me too. ”

And Emily’s words came back to me. He might be a big guy, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel. And while my preconceived stereotyped notion was that all gym junkies were fuck-anything types, he couldn’t have been any more opposite. He was just as vulnerable as me.

“I’m glad you like to eat,” I said. “Because I like to cook. But just so you know, I have a protein bar you can have any time.”

It took him a second, but then he realised what I was talking about. He chuckled. “So you have the sense of humour of a fifteen year old boy.”

“Pretty much. You’ll get used to it.” I took a sip of water. “Oh, and I still have to make you that beetroot thing. It was incredible.”

“Okay.” He kissed me with smiling lips. “Maybe this afternoon? We could take a walk to Coles later if you want?”

“We could. But I have the ingredients for it at my place.”

His gaze met mine, and there was a flicker of heat there. “Sounds good.”

It was pretty obvious that my offer for him to have dinner with me was also an invitation for something more physical. I didn’t think we were at the having-anal-sex stage yet, but there were about a hundred other things we could do. I realised then that we needed to have the talk.

“So…” I started cautiously. I picked up the sweet potato. “I guess we need to talk about sexual histories and expectations at some point.” He looked at the phallic shaped potato in my hand and smirked, and I snorted. “Yes, your apt sized vegetable is apt.”

He handed me the peeler, then thought better of it, and took the potato and peeler back. “I might do that part. Can you wash the salad leaves?”

I chuckled but emptied the leaf mix into the salad spinner.

“I saw the doctor before I started at the gym, you know, for a health check-up. Everything came back fine. I was with Graham for eight years, and I’ve only ever practiced safe sex.

I can count the guys I’ve been with on both hands, including you.

” I let a breath out through puffed out cheeks and tried to not let my embarrassment get the better of me.

“I have topped before, but I prefer to bottom. It’s just what I like, though I’ve only ever bottomed for men I’ve trusted. ”

Reed stopped peeling the potato and put it on the sink.

Without a word, he wiped his hands and stepped over to me, pressing himself right up against me.

I had no choice but to look up, and when I did, he kissed me, softly, sweetly.

“Thank you for telling me that.” He sighed and kissed me chastely again.

“I was tested for everything imaginable when I found my ex cheating on me,” he said.

“I was given the all-clear. I haven’t been with anyone since then. ”

“I’m sorry he did that to you.”

“Me too. But I’m glad I found out the truth.” He smiled sadly. “Anyway, my history… well, I spent most of my early twenties seeing what my new body could do.” He cringed. “Sorry.”

I snorted. “Was it like a shiny new toy?”

He nodded quickly. “Uh, yeah. But for about the last six years, I’ve only ever had sex with guys I’ve had relationships with. I need that connection.” He shrugged now. “Or intimacy just doesn’t work for me.”

I leaned up on my toes and stretched as tall as I could, and he still had to lean down so I could kiss him. It made him smile against my lips, but then his stomach growled.

I pushed him back. “Food. Now.”

He chuckled. “I’m trying, but you keep distracting me.”

I went back to salad washing and he went back to peeling and slicing the sweet potato.

Then he steamed it in the microwave for ten minutes and switched his counter top grill on to heat up.

Every now and then he’d stop to touch me or kiss me.

He grilled the steamed sweet potato, then the lamb fillets, threw together a salad of mixed leaves and fresh capsicum with a balsamic vinaigrette, served it all up, and we chatted effortlessly about food, music and movies as we ate.

When we moved to the sofa, we sat at opposite ends, and Reed tucked one of his legs up under his arse.

He was so relaxed, and he made me feel like I belonged right where I was.

He told me some funny stories of his childhood and how wonderful but also embarrassing his family could be.

He told me some of the strangest things he’d ever seen in a gym, and I told him of the time Anika had taken me in for a pedicure and we could hear everything that went on in the cubicle next to us.

Apparently happy endings were a thing, and Reed laughed, saying sex in the showers in gyms is quite common.

“Not at my gym now, but at another one,” he clarified.

“But just to be sure, I try not to shower at work, and if I have to, I always wear protective footwear.”

I hadn’t realised that we’d edged closer to each other on the sofa, but we were now sitting side on and facing each other, almost touching.

Reed seemed to notice at the same time, and he gently touched my jaw.

His gaze went from my jaw to my lips, and when he looked into my eyes, his pupils darkened.

He brought our lips together, while his free hand found my hip and he positioned me as he wanted.

He pushed me back on the sofa and lay on top of me.

Jesus Christ.

If he kept kissing me like this, I’d be needing a pair of his jeans as well.

He broke the kiss and rested his forehead on my cheek. “I’m sorry. I keep getting carried away,” he murmured. “It’s been a while for me, and you’re so fucking kissable.”

I wanted to roll my hips, and I wanted him to take me to bed and bury that huge fucking cock of his inside me. But with the self-control of a monk, I refrained. “Call me Mother Teresa.”

He pulled back, startled, like I had some disturbing nun kink. “What?”

I burst out laughing. “No, I just meant I’m trying so hard not to let you fuck me that I’m practically a saint.”

“Oh.” Then he laughed too, thank God. He climbed off me and scooted to his end of the couch. He let out a steady breath. “I want that too, Henry. But we should wait. We should wait, shouldn’t we?”

I sat up and palmed my dick to dampen my arousal.

I agreed with a nod. “Yes, that’s probably a good idea.

” And it was. I didn’t want to end up in bed only to realise we weren’t ready and ruin what could be the beginning of something very amazing.

“Physically, I think we’re more than ready.

Emotionally, I think we could use a few dates, yeah? ”

He jumped up to his feet, wearing a smile that could only be described as relieved.

He pulled me up so I was standing in front of him.

“Thank you for being on the same page.” He looked like he might kiss me again but took a step back instead and readjusted the hefty bulge in his jeans.

“Jesus. Okay, you can call me Mother Teresa too.”

Turning him on was a heady feeling. I swallowed hard. “I think tonight after dinner we can find something else to do,” I suggested.

“Such as?”

“Scrabble. Uno. Twister. That kind of thing.”

He stared at me.

So I clarified. “And by Scrabble, Uno, and Twister, I really do mean handjobs, blowjobs, and more frottage.”

He laughed. “Now those are games I can play.”

Then I remembered something. “There’s something I need to do first though.”

“What’s that?”

“I need to drop off some baggage I no longer need.”

Reed looked a little confused, but I smiled. And so, with Reed with me, I drove to the nearest charity shop and took the box of Graham’s belongings out of the boot. Before I put them in the drop-bin, Reed put his hand on my arm. “Are you sure?”

“I am so sure. I should’ve done it the day he left.”

“But you weren’t ready then.”

“No. I wasn’t. But I am now. To be honest, I should’ve done it two or three years ago.

I guess it needed to run its course for me to get to this point.

” I shrugged and met his gaze. “I’m happy with where I’m headed.

And that’s nothing to do with you, Reed.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with where we’re heading too.

But I’m happier with who I am and knowing what I want than I have been in years.

I want to get fitter and healthier, for me―not for anyone else.

I’m not ready to take on the world, but I’m ready to leave this behind. ” I held up the box.

Reed rewarded me with one of those eye-crinkling smiles and a soft kiss. “Good for you, Henry.”

And just like that, I put the box of Graham’s things―the things he’d discarded, belongings and memories―into the charity bin, and walked away. I felt lighter, stronger than I ever had.

Reed and I went back to my place, where I made him a late lunch of the beetroot tart, which he devoured, and cooked us a dinner of prawns and linguine. He spent the entire time in the kitchen with me, distracting me with kisses to the back of my neck and breathy sighs in my ear.

And later that night, we played Scrabble, Uno, and Twister.