Page 18 of The Weight Of It All

Eight

Reed’s apartment was kind of small, but I guessed that was a given for a one-bedroom unit.

It was spotlessly clean, with polished pine floorboards, white walls, and a newish kitchen.

He had a peacock-blue sofa that matched an abstract print on the wall, a large flat screen TV, and a coffee table.

His place smelled like him, and he was clearly very comfortable in his own space.

He dumped his shopping bag on his small dining table, then added his keys and wallet.

He took the citrus tart from me. “Take a seat.”

He walked into the kitchen, which was just off the living and dining area, and called out to me. “You can turn the telly on. Bathroom’s down the hall on your left, if you need.”

“Thanks.” I went over to the sofa and fell into it. It was as comfy as it looked.

I could hear beeping of some kind, which I assumed was a coffee machine, when Reed came out holding two small pods. “Strong or mild coffee?”

“Strong, please.”

He disappeared again and I had a brief moment of “what the hell am I doing?” when I noticed a book on his coffee table. It was The Two Towers with a takeaway menu slotted in as a bookmark.

I’d given Reed the first Lord of the Rings book the other weekend, and now he was almost finished with the second?

That made me happier than it probably should’ve, and it kind of eased my doubts of why I was there.

As strange as it was, this was the reason I was there.

I gave him one book, and he read three more.

He pushed me in the gym, getting more from me than I thought possible, and I still had more to offer.

He gave me some lemon butter, and two citrus tarts later, I was in his living room for coffee.

We got on well. But more than that, we were productive together, and I really liked that.

“I blame you for that,” he said, coming up behind me with two coffee cups in his hands and nodding to the book in my hand.

He put them on the coffee table and turned to walk back into the kitchen.

“I read the first one you gave me, then had to buy the others.” He came back with two small plates this time and handed one to me.

It was a triangle of the citrus tart and a spoon.

“They’re pretty good.” He sat on the sofa with me and delicately cut into the dessert with his spoon and tasted it.

And he groaned that guttural sound, low and filthy and pure sex, and I was pretty sure I’d do anything to hear it again. “Oh man, that is really good.”

I shoved a spoonful into my mouth to distract me from where my thoughts had taken me, and I had to admit, the citrus tart was pretty good. “No wonder everyone at work liked it.” I explained how everyone who had tried my morning tea then spoke to me.

“And it’s really the first time you’ve spoken to anyone you work with in all the time you’ve been there?”

“I speak to them,” I admitted. “About work related matters. Never anything personal, and never more than a hello in the hallway. But anyway, this new Monday morning tea is becoming quite the thing. Everyone’s getting in on it.

Last week, Rebecca from Insurance brought in a pear and raspberry bread.

And Bayram from Corporate brought in homemade baklava.

There was a mix up about whose turn it was, not that anyone minded because we had two morning teas.

Anyway, it was all to die for. I only had a tiny bit of each, but it’s been nice.

Actually speaking to the people I work with about non-work related things. ”

“I find it a bit weird that you don’t talk to them,” he said, now sipping his coffee. “I thought you’d be friends with all of them.”

“Friends with Melinda, yes. I adore her. Even though I’m technically her boss, she has no qualms in telling me to shut up or to pull my head in.”

“Pretty sure I’d like her.”

I nodded. “I’m sure you would.”

He finished the last of his tart and slid his plate onto the coffee table.

He sipped his coffee again. He was so relaxed and natural.

I envied how comfortable he was in his own skin.

“I love the people I work with,” he said.

“We all know each other’s stories, their friends and families.

Admittedly, there’s only five of us full-time, not like the fifty or so that I guess work in your department.

But even the part-timers and casual staff at the gym are all good people.

I do get on with Emily the best, though, and Lachie. They’d be my closest friends.”

I’d seen both Emily and Lachie around the gym all the time. They were always helpful and polite. I could see why he liked them. “They seem like nice people.”

“We’re doing an instructor challenge this weekend,” he said, his face lighting up. “On Saturday afternoon. You should come and watch.”

“What exactly is an instructor challenge?”

“All the trainers are set a routine, and whoever finishes first, wins. Sometimes it’ll be whoever does more reps in a set time frame wins. We don’t know what the challenge is going to be until we get there.”

I stared at him. “You mean, exercise for fun?”

Reed laughed. “It is fun! You should come watch. I’m gonna win this time.”

“How often do you do these?”

“Every couple of months.”

“You’re all crazy.”

“It’s pretty intense.”

“And it’s this Saturday?”

“Yep. At three o’clock.” He put his cup back on the table. “Did you have something else planned?”

“Nope. I don’t think so. I’ve renounced Anika’s best friend status, remember? Though I might take my mum out for a brunch. That’ll keep her happy for a while. I should be free in the afternoon.”

“Excellent!”

“And you’re really going to make me do the Bay Run?”

“Yep.”

“You don’t have to be so cheerful about trying to kill me.”

He chuckled. “You’ll be surprised how easy you’ll do it.”

“What? The dying part? Sure, that’s easy. It’s the running part that’s hard.”

He smiled as he leaned back in the sofa. “I’ll redo your training schedule. It was due to be redone soon anyway.”

“Why redo it? I was just getting the hang of it. I could just get through the whole session without wanting to die.”

“That’s why I need to change it.”

“So you are trying to kill me?”

Reed smiled warmly at me. “You’re improving. You need more of a challenge to push yourself.”

“Can’t I just plateau out at mediocre?”

He chuckled at that, then fell quiet, though he never took his eyes off me.

“Nope. You’re far from mediocre, Henry.” His eyes were so intense, his gaze seemed to charge the air between us.

The static surprised me. He shook his head a little and shot to his feet and quickly cleared the plates from the coffee table.

“I’ll just take these…” he mumbled, disappearing into his kitchen.

I let out a slow and steady breath. What the fuck was that? If I didn’t know better, I could have sworn that was a look . But I did know better. He was popular, friends with everyone, gorgeous, with a body to die for. And I was… none of those things.

I’d been kicked off the couple train and left at the station for the old and overweight just three weeks ago. After eight years.

My head kept saying I wasn’t ready for this. I needed time to be myself again. I needed to rediscover who I was as an individual person, not as part of a couple. I needed to learn how to be alone and to be okay with that.

But my heart was pretty sure I’d spent most of the last eight years alone. My heart was yearning for something it had been deprived of for far too long.

And I didn’t know what to make of that.

How could I have spent the last eight years with someone and feel alone?

How could I find myself suddenly single and there be no void where Graham had been?

I didn’t even realise how alone I was until he was gone, because it was only after he’d left me that I realised my life wasn’t that much different.

The saying “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” was opposite for me. I was only now realising what I was missing out on, now that he was gone.

So maybe Graham saw that all along. We were so stagnant, so comfortable with each other, we were holding each other back. We were just numb with the status quo, and I could see that now. As hard as it was to admit, Graham had done the right thing .

So what did Reed have to do with that? I wasn’t sure…

“Want another coffee?” Reed’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He was standing in the doorway to his kitchen, putting a very deliberate distance between us.

“No,” I answered, standing up. “I should get going.”

Reed wiped the palms of his hands down his thighs. “Oh, okay.” He swallowed hard, clearly uncomfortable now. “Hey, thanks for today. I had a great time.”

“No worries. Thank you for not freaking out when we met my old friends. And my mother. And then Anika on the phone…” The corner of my mouth pulled down. “For all of it really. Maybe next time we can go somewhere where I don’t know anyone.”

He finally smiled. “Next time?”

“Yeah, if you want to, that is.” God, why couldn’t I stop talking?

He nodded. “Sure. I’d like that. Don’t forget next Saturday though, be at the gym at three.”

“Oh for sure. And you still have to make me that lamb and sweet potato salad. Don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

He smiled more naturally now. It suited him so much better. “Deal.”

I walked to his front door. “Thanks again. See you Tuesday morning?”

He stood about a metre from me, his hands shoved in his pockets. “I’ll be there.”

I wouldn’t say it was awkward, but there was something there. Something electric, something frightening, something that both thrilled me and terrified me.

With a clumsy smile, I opened the door and walked to my car. I hadn’t even started the engine before I had Anika on the phone. She answered my call with, “You hung up on me.”

“You embarrassed me.”

“Henry, what’s wrong? ”

“I just left Reed’s place.”

“Oh my God. Did you sleep with him?”

“What? No!”