Page 26 of The Weight Of It All

I put my hand up like it could somehow pull back my words that upset him. “No.”

Reed’s nostrils flared. “Because I’m insulted that you think that low of me.”

I shook my head. “No, Reed, that’s not what I meant. I would never think that of you. ”

“But you just did.”

Oh Jesus, he was pissed at me. My mouth was suddenly dry.

“Not just looks, no. I just thought you’d pick someone with a similar lifestyle.

Not looks. Someone who respects their body and who spends time, hours actually, working out and being you know, capable of doing all those superhuman things you did yesterday. ”

He thought about that for a moment then shook his head. “I appreciate your concern for what you think I need. But how about you let me decide what I need and what I don’t.”

“Okay, yeah, that was presumptuous, sorry.”

He nodded slowly. “It was. You seemed to have presumed a lot about me.”

“I haven’t really. Well, I haven’t meant to.”

“Is it about me, or is it about you?”

“What?”

“The one of us that’s not good enough?” He frowned. “Is it me or you?”

“Me. God, me. You’re―” I waved my hand in his general direction. “―you’re perfect.”

He shook his head a little and sighed. “It’s hard to be pissed at you, Henry.”

“No, it’s not. A lot of people manage just fine.”

He almost smiled. “No, I mean, it’s hard to be mad at you for assuming all these crazy things when they all reflect your perception of yourself.”

“What?”

“You don’t think we should be together, not because I look like this.” He waved his hand in front of himself like I’d done. “Because I’m, what did you call me?”

“Perfect.”

Reed rolled his eyes. “Which is ridiculous, just so you know. No, Henry, you don’t think we should be together because you don’t think you’re good enough. ”

I stared at him. I was ripped open, my heart and worst insecurities were exposed.

His eyes softened. “But, Henry, you are. And if you’d just have asked me instead of shutting me out, I would’ve said that we do belong together. Because you get me, and I can talk to you and be with you like it’s the easiest thing in the world.”

I blinked and couldn’t form the words. Coherent sentences were impossible. “Huh?”

Reed’s lips twitched, and he finally gave in and smiled.

He closed the distance between us until he stood close enough that I could feel the heat coming off his body.

He put his fingers to my chin until I was looking up at him.

I’d never felt more vulnerable than I did in that moment.

My heart beat triple-time and my lungs squeezed, adrenaline and nerves flooded my body.

He was so close and so tall, his size was overwhelming and incredible.

His face was barely an inch from mine, his eyes an ocean of heat.

He licked his lips and slid his hand along my jaw.

The roughness of his skin sent a shiver through me, and he smiled.

“I’m going to kiss you,” he whispered gruffly. “Is that okay?”

I couldn’t speak, my throat was filled with butterflies, my brain was on an anticipation-high. All I could manage was a nod, and that was all the permission he needed. Reed tilted my head further back, and in a world-stopping moment, he slowly pressed his lips to mine.

His lips were warm and soft, and without words, he encouraged me to open for him. He deepened his kiss and slid his tongue against mine. The strangled moan he gave almost buckled my knees.

His hand around my jaw kept my mouth right where he wanted it and his strong arm wrapped around my back. He pulled me against him and he owned me with that kiss. I felt like I was floating, and then his tongue met mine again, and I thought I might catch fire.

I slid my hand through his hair, and it earned me a grunt, and holy shit, the sound urged me on. This kiss was quickly becoming something else, and it didn’t matter where we were, I wanted it.

The office door flew open, and Reed and I broke apart. Emily stood in the doorway, her surprise quickly becoming a grin. “Oh, sorry! I thought you guys had left.”

Reed let out a nervous laugh and, standing half side on to her, protectively pulled me behind him. “No, we uh, didn’t leave.”

I peeked around Reed’s arm. Emily was blushing a little, but her smile was genuine. “Carry on.” She went to shut the door but stopped. “Actually, I was going to cover your last appointment anyway, if you’d prefer to… take this somewhere else?”

“We probably should,” Reed said. “You’re right.”

“You can’t miss your work for me,” I said, looking up at him.

Reed turned to face me, confusion on his face just as Emily cleared her throat. “Just let me know. You’ve got about twenty minutes,” she said, closing the door.

I put my hand on his arm. “Your next client will be expecting you.”

“But what about this…?” He motioned between us.

“Oh, we can make out all afternoon.”

He laughed. “I meant the talking.”

“We can do that too.” I took in his handsome face and his kiss swollen lips. “It’s only an hour right?”

He nodded, and staring at my lips, he leaned in and kissed me again. Before we could deepen the kiss, he pulled away and took a step back. He let out a steady breath. “God, I can’t go out there like this. ”

“Like what?”

He palmed his dick. His rather prominently hard, and noticeably large, dick.

“Oh.” God, I could imagine how that would feel inside me. “ Oh .”

He took a huge step back. “Not helping, Henry.”

“Oh, I could help with that if you wanted me to.”

He glanced at the door like he was weighing up his options, but then shook his head. “No, no. Our first time isn’t going to be here.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean fuck,” I whispered the last word. “I just meant I could―”

He squeezed his dick. “Ah, yes, I know what you meant. I meant our first time doing anything isn’t going to be here.” Apparently I couldn’t hide my disappointment, because he laughed and pulled me in for a quick hug. “One hour. It’s just one hour.”

I mumbled into his chest, “Just think horrible thoughts.”

“Well, I’m trying to, but all I keep thinking about is how you kiss, and that’s not working at all.”

I hummed. “God, you smell good.”

He pushed me out to arm’s length. “Okay, that’s really not helping.”

I took a step away from him, catching sight of myself in the mirror. I quickly looked away from my reflection and made a face. Something Reed didn’t miss. He walked around to the filing cabinet and said, “Can I show you something?”

“If it will help with your rather large problem.”

He stopped. “My what?”

“Your um…” I gave a pointed nod to the still-visible ridge line of his cock in his gym shorts. “That rather large problem.”

Reed barked out a laugh, and the tips of his ears turned pink. “Oh.” He readjusted himself and turned back to the filing cabinet. He pulled out a file in particular and slid it across the table. “Open that.”

I doubted he’d be showing me anything I shouldn’t be seeing, so I turned the file around the right way. That was when I noticed the name on it.

Henry Beckett.

Me.

This was my file. I glanced up at Reed, and he smiled encouragingly. “Open it.”

With a nervous breath, I flipped the folder open and saw my photo and a bunch of numbers on a chart on the first page.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, that’s just what I write down after every session. It shows your progress.”

“Oh.”

“Come over here,” Reed said, picking up the folder and walking around the table to the mirror. “Stand in front of the mirror for me.”

I wasn’t comfortable doing this. At all. I didn’t like my reflection a great deal. But I did as he asked, even if I didn’t really look at myself.

“Look at this photo,” Reed said.

It was the picture he’d taken the first day I came here. It was the image of the man who had cried in front of the bathroom mirror because he didn’t like what he saw… I didn’t like the photograph either.

“Now look at yourself in the mirror.” He waited for me to do as he asked. “See the difference?”

And I could. I’d seen my reflection in the bathroom mirror every day for the last four weeks and never truly noticed a great difference. But here it was, right in front of me. My before photograph and me today.

The photo was me four weeks ago. I looked pale, exhausted, and sick, if I was being honest. Admittedly, it hadn’t been a good few days, but I was also a lot bigger than I remember being.

My reflection today had clearer skin, with a healthier glow. There were no black circles under my eyes, and there was less weight around the neck and jaw and less weight around my middle.

“See the difference, Henry?”

I nodded. I could see the difference. Like holy shit, I could see a visible difference in just four weeks. It wasn’t hugely drastic, but it was there. “Yeah.” I smiled. “I can.”

Reed beamed a smile at me. “Good. So next time you catch yourself in the mirror, please don’t frown.”

There was a knock at the door, then Emily stuck her head in. “Reed? Nadia’s here.”

“Yes, I’ll take the appointment, thanks.

I’ll be out in a bit.” Reed took the file and slipped it back into the filing cabinet.

He walked right up to me and put both hands on my shoulders.

He leaned down and kissed me softly. “Can you be at my place in about an hour and a half? There’s something else I want to show you. ”

I nodded. “Sure.”

He left to take his next client, and Emily smirked at him on the way out. When he was gone, she smiled at me. “Well, that went well.”

I bit my lip so I didn’t grin like a clown.

“It did,” I said. Emily looked around then stepped inside and closed the door, leaving just her and I in the room.

Oh crap. “Is this the ‘break his heart and I’ll break your face’ speech?

” I asked, trying for jest, but I’m pretty sure she could smell my fear.