Page 91 of The Way I Used to Be

Just one more time...

“Hel-lo-o?”

I hang up again. Damn it.

I take a breath.

Like some kind of junkie with no self-control, I just cannot stop myself. I dial.

“Who is this?” he demands.

Oh God. His voice. Just the sound of his voice makes my heart pound.

“Hello?” he inhales. “Hello?” he exhales.

I open my mouth. But then Vanessa’s voice calls, “Edy? Edy, will you come out here please?”

I hang up fast.

In the living room, I’m met by two incredibly intimidating looking people: a man—a cop in uniform—and a woman who’s wearing a power suit and introduces them both.

“Hello, this is Officer Mitchell and I’m Detective Dodgson. We’re here to ask some questions regarding Kevin Armstrong. We understand that your family, Mr. and Mrs. McCrorey, is very close with Mr. Armstrong and his family, is that correct?”

Conner fumbles with the remote control as he tries to switch off the TV. And Vanessa does something I’ve never seen her do before—she reaches for Conner’s hand.

Caelin is suddenly on his feet, looking entirely too confrontational considering the fact that both these people have visible guns on them. “I already told the police everything I know, which is nothing, because nothing happened!” Caelin practically shouts.

“We are aware of the statement you gave the campus police last week, but we’re here today regarding a separate matter, a related but separate matter,” the woman, Detective Dodgson, says. I feel my hand clutch at my chest. Because I know, right away, I know there’s someone else, another girl, someone besides the ex-girlfriend. Okay, I take a deep breath and hold it; I plant my feet into the floor, and brace myself for something terrible.

“What is this all about?” Conner says shakily, putting his arm around Vanessa’s shoulder.

“Look, he didn’t do anything to her, I know it!” Caelin insists.

Officer Mitchell, towering over six-foot-tall Caelin, takes a step toward him; he doesn’t even need to speak to intimidate. Detective Dodgson proceeds, “We’d like to ask each of you, separately, about Kevin and Amanda Armstrong.”

The bottom of my stomach opens up and my heart drops through.

Amanda.

Of course—of course, it would be her. I try to fade. Try to hold still and just blend into the wall. Try to summon enough psychic power to disintegrate, to dematerialize right here before their eyes.

“What?” Caelin whispers, even though it’s pretty clear he meant to scream it.

“Mandy?” Vanessa says, more to herself than the detective.

“Why would you want to ask us about her?” Conner asks, all of us getting afraid of the answer.

“But why? Why—what?” Vanessa can’t seem to formulate a sentence.

“We’re investigating a report of assault, ma’am,” Officer Mitchell says.

Detective Dodgson looks at me in a way that makes me feel naked. But she couldn’t know, because nobody knows.

“What... do you... mean, assault?” Vanessa stutters, unable to comprehend what we’re being told.

Caelin sits back down on the couch and just stares at an imaginary point on the carpet—doesn’t speak, doesn’t blink.

“We’ll want to speak with each of you,” Officer Mitchell says. “Mr. McCrorey, will you join me in the other room?” He starts walking into the dining room, Conner follows, looking disoriented, clutching the remote control for dear life.