Page 36 of The Valiant Knight (The Ravensmire Chronicles #2)

I meant Ceit no ill. Fate just had other plans for you than her. That is the bottom line. I was born for you, and I cannot be without you.

I swear upon my breast that it is circumstances beyond my control. We are here now, together, and she is not.

If I saw you truly happy with her, I would quietly back away, but I know your heart.

You don’t love her.

You never have.

That arranged marriage was of convenience, not passion and love. I know because when I come to your bed, I see exactly what you crave and need. I am yours, and you are mine for that reason.

That passion is me, my Lord.

I am what you need.

So, if you want me to leave, and never to return so you may go back to your wife and unborn child, just give me the order.

I will obey.

I’ll always obey you.

I know that my family is beneath yours, and I shouldn’t dare to even gaze upon you with my desires, but they are there, and this letter is to declare them.

Decide, my Lord.

I will abide by your decision, and hold fast to it. I know deep down we were meant to be, and had the circumstances been different, nothing else would matter. Tell me what it is that you want.

You only have to ask me to do it. I would give you my heart upon a platter if you asked for it.

Who do you want, and then, I can have peace either in your arms, or as far from you as I can be?

I know there can’t be two loves of your life, and I know you have to make that decision. I love you enough to let you go if that is your wish, but...

There can only be one.

And I pray that it’s me.

Forever yours, no matter what you decide.

C.’

Finn was honest, and this came from the place where he solved things for a living.

“He doesn’t sound like he hates Ceit. In fact, he’s offering to stop seeing him if that was what Duncan wanted.”

Yeah, she forgot about that.

“Then, maybe Ceit just wanted me to read the letter, and nothing more.”

Tony read over it.

“Do we know what Duncan’s family colors are?” he asked.

Finn pointed.

Over the fireplace was the family crest, and it was red, blue, and gold.

“It’s safe to say that someone had a kilt fetish too,” Tony stated.

Gabby had to point out the obvious.

“Hear me out, but I think she was still somewhat afraid of Ciarán Begbie, and look how the letter is signed.”

They did.

“I mean, we can assume it’s him. Maybe that’s why Ceit was so angry and pissed off. She didn’t get thrown over by another woman, but a man.”

She considered it.

“It would be something a Lord would want to keep private if he was into men, and why he couldn't bond with his new bride. She didn’t have the right equipment.”

Tony agreed.

“They’d be fighting side by side on the battlefield. Things get wild, you’re in close quarters…”

Was Duncan gay?

Was that one of the big secrets?

Finn shook his head.

“I don’t think that whoever wrote that letter killed Ceit. There’d be no reason to. If he shacked up with Duncan, assuming he liked the lads, not the lasses, all she had to do was spread far and wide that her husband, a man her father had her marry, was gay. It would ruin his reputation, right?”

Tony nodded.

“Things like this happened, but people were discreet. There were a few people in the British monarch that were gayer than the day was long. They kept up the facade, and took their lovers on the side.”

“Maybe that was Duncan’s plan, but then, someone killed Ceit.”

Gabby thought about it.

Tony had a point.

“Only, then WHO killed Ceit? Her bones tell the story, and she didn’t jump. She fell backward and out the window. She said she was killed.”

Finn had one more piece of information.

“You also asked how many ghosts were here. She said four. That’s Duncan, Ceit, Ciarán, and who?”

That was a good point.

“Let’s keep reading,” Tony said. “We might find out who the other person was in this very weird relationship.”

That was a good plan.

Picking up the final letter Graham had given her, she read it over to them.

‘My dearest love,

I wanted you to know that I found the letter that you slipped into my battlefield dwelling, and it brought tears to my eyes.

You know how I feel about you.

I’ve not only shown it, but I’ve said it countless times as we make love.

I love you.

Endlessly.

My marriage to Ceit is a tumultuous one, and we are both aware of that.

Do I love her?

Yes, I do, but not in the way I love you.

Do I wish my hand wasn’t forced and I was made to marry her?

Yes, but I can’t undo what is done.

Now, she carries my child, and I can’t turn away from that. It will likely be a boy, and I will raise my son to understand that duty comes first. While love sustains us, as my child, he will have to make uncomfortable choices.

That is why I let her have her life in the castle.

When we lie together, our bodies pressed to each other, there is no doubt in my mind that you are my other half. I know that, and I cherish it.

What I feel for you is matched by no other, and our nightly interludes where you sneak into my tent to pleasure my body is like nothing I have ever felt before. It is magical, and it is like witchcraft.

Nothing has ever been better for me.

You between my legs, and for me to be buried in you are my fondest moments. They are all that keeps me sane as we do battle for our country against the intruders.

You are all I have.

You’re all I love.

I pray nightly for forgiveness.

When I think of Ceit, I am nothing more than tired. She is a good lass, but she is not the person for me. I think her age has made her not see that she doesn’t own me, even by marriage, but I own her.

Her stubbornness, her shrewishness and unwillingness to obey the simplest thing angers me to no end. Her father promised a well-taught woman, and what I received was a vicious woman who has a sharp tongue.

I’m tired of fighting, and I wish I never accepted her father’s offer to marry her. I knew then it was for the betterment of our clan, but now, I wish I waited. I wish my hands were not tied with this one.

Had I known the unmatched passion, erotic joining, and the pleasure I would find sinking into your body…

There would have been no marriage had things been different. I would have happily lived my life with just you, and been completely content.

I care not that your family is beneath mine. I care only that you are beneath me.

But what am I to do?

I can’t send her away.

She is with child.

Sending her back to her clan would bring embarrassment to her and my child. It would also bring anger from her father. Who knows what he would do in that case? I don’t want her hurt. After all, my son is in her.

Now, she curses me.

She curses my blood.

She hexes the home I had built for her.

She hates me to the depths of Hell and back.

Well, she knows not Hell.

For I am in it. I live it with each breath I take.

I love someone else, and wish only to return to my castle, built to protect me, and retire with my one true love. Is that so much to ask?

I am weary from battle, and I have very little fight left. All I know is that I must protect my son and home.

And I will at all costs.

If circumstances change, you shall forever be allowed to be with me.

With you, I found love, peace, and safety. There is no one else I trust more than you. You’ve proved that you are loyal and mine.

Bear with me.

That is all I ask.

I must think about the options, and maybe I can hide you in plain sight. Maybe I can keep you with me, and no one would be any the wiser.

Who would question me?

Can I ask this of you?

Can I beg you to play this game, until I can handle the situation at home?

I love you, and I need you.

Now, meet me tonight. My body burns for yours, and I must have you. It’s all I think of when I see you. Those moments of passion and love are all I have.

You are my one and only.

I swear on my clan.

Forever,

Duncan.’

When she was done with it, they all looked at each other.

“Okay, so Duncan said he was going to handle it,” Tony said. “So he killed Ceit?”

They didn’t know.

“I think we need more information,” Gabby admitted. “What we know is Duncan was forced to marry a child bride, and then he went off to war.”

Finn picked up next.

“While he was away, she became increasingly worried that she was being replaced. And she was. Duncan had an illicit affair on the battlefield, and it could be his man-at-arms—the knight he trusted most to stand by his side.”

Tony continued.

“And we know he was definitely cheating on her, and she was pissed. She cursed them. That might explain why this place is hella crazy with the ghosts. Maybe she dabbled a little in the woo-woo.”

Finn stared at him.

“Witchcraft?” he asked.

Tony was honest.

“Back then, before the church really got their claws into the masses, people worshipped nature related religions like Paganism and Wicca. It’s possible.”

Well, shit.

How did they deal with that?

No one had any clue.

“We’re not finding more definitive answers,” Gabby admitted.

No, they were not.

They were getting more details that were making this harder. They needed to lock down who ‘C’ was.

Before they left.

She shook her head.

“This is a whole mess,” Gabby admitted. “I think it all stems from one thing,” she added.

“What?” Tony asked.

It was one of the things that caused all of this.

“A woman scorned is a rough one, even back then. She found out she was being sent away and disposed of as his wife. That had to be annoying as a pregnant woman who was Lady of the Manor. It all seems to escalate from there. Maybe that’s why Gryphen and Ian encountered Ceit first.”

No one was arguing that.

As for her husband’s infidelity…

“Yeah, he enjoyed himself while away at battle. That’s pretty common. We’ve found genetic traces where the same paternal DNA was found in multiple locations and the only contributing factor was the male was off at war,” Tony admitted.

Gabby shook her head.

“Men don’t need an excuse to cheat,” she said. “They just do it.”

Finn kissed her on the temple.