Page 33 of The Valiant Knight (The Ravensmire Chronicles #2)

“I know about your parents, your seven sisters, and all of your hobbies and intricacies. I know that you shun tech, that you like to run, and that you’re good at your job.”

Well, she certainly researched him.

“I wanted to make sure that Anthony, who is my brother from another mother, and Gabby, my friend and hacker, would be safe there.”

“Let me guess. Graham?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“I have a far reach,” she admitted. “The FBI has connections to the NCA. Your National Crime Agency employs a few friends of mine.”

This woman was scary, and it threw him off because she was literally getting a pedicure.

Elizabeth was to the point.

“Her ex abused her. Hurt her, and broke her. I happen to love her because she’s part of my team. If you do this, you finish it.”

“Or?”

She smiled.

“Or I’m calling your mother, and telling her that one of her many children done fucked up and I’m gunning for him. Then, I’m getting my well-manicured self on a plane to hunt you down, whip your ass, and giggle when I’m done.”

As she said it, three of her security detail stepped into view, and they were big freaking dudes. Well, two of them were.

“Ivan, Uriel, and Demeter will be joining me,” she said.

He laughed.

“Okay, you made your point. And if I love her for the rest of my life, and make her my wife?”

The look on her face softened.

“Send me an invite to the wedding. I give really good gifts,” she said.

And that threat level went down.

Finn was curious.

“Can I ask you something now?”

She nodded.

“Shoot, Detective.”

Honestly, she wasn’t sure what this was going to be about, but she’d humor him.

“Is it ridiculous to buy a ring tomorrow and marry her? I don’t want to wait. I’m jumping in.”

Oh, she could see that.

“Buy the ring, get down on one knee, and do it. Life is too short. As for is it ridiculous…? My Ethan asked me on day four and we got married that day. When you know, you know. Just take care of her, and she’ll take care of you.

Gabby is funny, kind, and sweet. She wants children, a husband who won’t hit her, and to be happy.

If you can nail all three of those criteria, you’re golden. ”

He could do that.

No.

He would.

“I’d never hurt her. She’s the sweetest, most loving person I’ve ever met. She was worried that she hurt a fainting goat when it passed out.”

She laughed.

“I mean, she works with me. When something drops that fast, we all panic.”

He was amused.

“Thank you for answering, Director. One more question.”

She waited.

“She’s not wearing jewelry. If I were to pick something out, what would she like? It’s day one. Help a guy out. I could ask my sisters, but I’ll get seven different answers. I need a neutral party.”

Oh, she could do that.

“Gabby is simple. Her first husband bought her a rock, and that meant nothing. I’d go with a pretty band with some lovely little stones in it, or something unique that no one else has.

For your information, her birthstone is a garnet, and she would dance in a field of flowers and swim in a waterfall. That’s just her.”

Yeah, he was aware.

“Bless you, Director.”

She corrected him.

“Elizabeth,” she said. “I’m not on a crime scene, and I’m not wearing a badge.”

He grinned.

“Thank you, Elizabeth.”

As he was finishing, Finn heard Gabby coming. She had to have broken away from Tony.

“Do the deed, Fineas. You won’t regret it.”

With that, she hung up.

When Gabby got in there, she was surprised to see he was done with the call. She’d had to trick Tony to get past him. By trick, she had to hit him so hard in the head with a pillow, she knocked him onto the couch.

“Are we okay?” she asked, as Tony appeared, and his hair was disheveled.

“Yeah, the call is over. Finish your dinner, mo ghràdh,” he said. “We have books to read in the library yet today.”

That they did.

When she sat down, he put his hand on her thigh, proprietarily.

And they kept eating.

Finally, she couldn't help herself.

“You’re not going to tell me what she said?” Gabby finally asked. “It’s going to make me insane not knowing. I practically had to knock Tony out.”

The man in question laughed.

“It was a pillow. We had a pillow fight, but it was one-sided.”

Finn was amused.

“Elizabeth told me not to hurt you, to love you, and to have a shit ton of kids. Have I mentioned my parents had eight children, and I’m the ONLY boy?”

She wasn’t sure she believed him. Elizabeth didn’t let anyone off the hook easily.

As for Tony, he shook his head.

“Keeping the Scottish Isles populated, I see,” he stated.

Finn laughed.

“My father wanted a son. They kept going,” he said. “Finally, my mother said one last one, and they got me.”

Gabby smiled.

“That explains a lot,” she said. “You’re very gentleman-y. I would have pegged you as the baby,” she admitted.

He laughed.

“I was doted on by a whole bunch of women,” he admitted. “My sisters love me—Catherine, Caroline, Bonnie, Blair, Maisie, Kenna, and Elsie, were my babysitters.”

She giggled.

“I like calling you Fineas. It’s a fun name,” she said. “Fineas, let’s get ice cream. Fineas, want to have sex?”

Immediately, he put his fork down.

“Which do you want first?” he asked. “I love both.”

She leaned over and kissed him.

Then, it hit her.

“Wait. She didn’t say if she accepted my resignation or not,” she said, just as her phone chimed.

“She has ears everywhere,” Tony admitted. “I’m sure this place is bugged. She’s maniacal.”

Picking up her phone, Tony was right.

When she saw it was from Elizabeth, she opened the text.

‘Your request for resignation is denied. You can work remotely. You’ll have to deal with the time zone, but I’m not losing the best hacker the FBI has because you want to bounce on a detective in Scotland. Now, enjoy your time there, and I’ll call you when I need you. Love you. E.’

When Gabby finished reading it, she showed him, and she had tears in her eyes.

Giving up her job wasn’t happening, and now, she could have both worlds.

Her bestie at the FBI kissed her on the cheek.

“I told you, Gabs. Just be honest with her. She’s always going to bend when you just come out and say it. Elizabeth knows when it’s the best for a person, and when it’s not. Her gut runs the show. She must have liked the detective.”

Clearly.

And for that, she was lucky.

Gabby was keeping her job, and getting her man.

It didn’t get any better than this.

* * *The Ravensmire Castle* * *

Bar In Scotland

Evening

Eight P.M.

Oh, he should have just stayed home, but he simply couldn’t do it anymore.

It was slowly killing him watching people come into the castle and watching their relationships flourish when he couldn’t even find a single soul that saw something redeeming in him.

Graham was at his breaking point.

So he’d done what he did best.

He hid.

For a while, he stayed in his room, and then, he snuck out when the coast was clear.

It was time to get his mind off of what was going on back in the castle.

There was only one thing that would make him forget.

Tonight, he’d partake in some sleazy, random hookup where he was degraded and humiliated.

It was to punish himself because he’d let the best thing in the world walk out the door all of those years ago.

The only reason he did the random hookups was because he had to feel something.

He was so numb all of the time that he swore he was the walking dead.

Empty.

Broken.

Decimated.

There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t think about D’Artangnan and wonder if he was okay. Wonder if he was thinking about him.

If he found love again.

If he ever moved on.

He remembered the tattoo they each got, him a D on his thigh, and D’Artangnan getting a G. The script was beautiful, and they were able to hide it under their uniforms with no one being the wiser.

It was one more thing that tied them together, even while they were apart. He remembered D’Artangnan telling him he’d never remove it, no matter what.

Had he kept his word?

Did he still have it?

Or did he cover it up to forget him?

Honestly, he wouldn’t have blamed the man had he done just that.

All he knew was his was still there, and it would stay there as a constant reminder of what he’d lost.

When D’Artangnan asked him to follow him back to the United States, but wouldn’t tell him why he wouldn’t stay, it had been his breaking point. Graham had to stay to finish out his time in the Black Watch.

Why hadn’t he stayed with him?

Why didn’t D’Artangnan love him enough to stay?

When he told him if he left, he’d never take him back, it had been out of stubbornness, selfishness, and rage.

Now, eight years later, he could see that he’d done that in anger, and when you did stupid shit like that, it broke you.

And that person.

This was his karma.

There was no doubt that his once lover hated him because he hated himself for letting the love of his life leave.

He still couldn’t believe he let him walk out of that flat door to never return.

His final words, when he looked back, haunted him.

‘I’ll always love you, Graham. No one will love you as much as I do. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you to just trust me and take that plunge.’

And then, he was gone.

FOREVER.

Sadly, D’Artangnan had been more than enough. He’d been everything.

If Graham could go back in time, he would do everything differently. He would have told him that he would finish up his time and follow him.

He would have told him to wait for him in America, and he would come.

He would have begged him to wait for him until he could be free of duty.

God.

Why didn’t he do the right thing?

A more mature man would have seen that six months in a long-distance relationship with your soulmate was better than the rest of your life without them.

Yeah, he hated himself.

Without.

A.

Doubt.

Every day, all he thought about was D’Artangnan and if he ever loved again.

Was he somewhere right now having a good day with his lover?

His husband?

His new soulmate?

Was he laughing and so happy that Graham was never even a thought in his mind?

Probably.

And he deserved that.

His stubbornness was his downfall, and he would never forgive himself for that. He’d never forgive himself for allowing a man he loved more than himself to slip through his fingers.

He was cursed.

At the time, he’d believed he was right, and he wasn’t. He was selfish to assume that he deserved to force him to stay there, and that he owed him that.

Graham was selfish to demand when he now knew that love was give and take.

Equally.

All Graham could hope was that wherever D’Artangnan was, he was happy because he’d been a saint. Graham was unworthy of the man.

And the bottom line was that Graham had been the bad one.

Now, he’d spend what was left of his life mourning what he’d had.

Sitting down at the bar, he ordered a drink, and slowly sipped it.

This was his downfall, and he knew it.

Graham was in a bad place, so of course, he was going to degrade himself the only way he knew how.

He was meeting a man.

And it killed him.

After losing D’Artangnan, no one was able to match him in bed. No one understood what he needed to feel alive, or what he needed to be loved.

Honestly, the only reason he did what he did was to punish himself.

Oh, and the last year…

He’d punished himself plenty.

Whenever someone called to hook up, he went without a question.

He didn’t know how they got his number, but they did, and that filled his time.

And his ass.

The humiliation and pain were all he could feel anymore, since his misery was engulfing him.

There was no one who hated himself more than him. He went from sex in bed with the man he loved to fucking in horrible places as he hoped the next hookup would be his last.

What did a guy have to do to be killed in an alley?

Clearly, he had shit luck and was a pussy because he couldn’t even do it himself.

Graham wanted off of this ride.

IMMEDIATELY.

When a man sat beside him, he didn’t even glance over. He knew who he’d be—another nameless dick who would mean nothing.

Who would use him.

Fuck him.

Punish him.

And he’d deserve it.

“Graham?” he asked.

He simply nodded.

“Want to have some drinks and then fun with me?” the man asked, softly.

No.

He wanted to go home and fall from the tower like Ceit had all of those years ago when she lost love.

Only, that’s not what came out of his mouth.

“Absolutely. I’m a dirty bottom. I want you to use me, degrade me, and fuck me,” he said. “I want to be your cum dumpster and on my knees.”

He hated himself.

The other man grinned.

“Sure. Let’s give it a go, Lad.”

Buying him some drinks, they went to a corner booth and he resigned his fate.

Graham would die alone.

Because there was nothing left.

NOTHING.