Page 62 of The Underachiever’s Guide to Love and Saving the World

“You’re wrong,” Bryce’s mouth said, and he charged.

Our swords clashed together again and again.

Bryce spoke between jabs. “The mouse’s dragon captured me and handed me over to be imprisoned.

Why would it do that if they’re on our side?

” Obviously, the potion inside him was doing everything it could to convince me Greg was evil, but I refused to listen to him.

My arm trembled with fatigue. “Greg needed one of us captured so everyone would gather to watch our fake hanging. The dragon didn’t know I’d already been captured when it took you.”

“Lies!” Bryce spat.

Okay. Enough was enough. I tossed my sword aside and dove for his legs. My arms locked around his knees, and he fell back. We landed in the dirt and rolled, Bryce dropping his sword in the process.

Using the momentum, I hooked my legs around his hips and spun over on top of him.

Before he got his bearings, I withdrew one of the vials from inside my guard uniform and popped the cork with my teeth.

His body immediately resisted, thrashing under me, the potion compelling him to reject anything that would make him less than perfect.

I dumped the entire bottle over Bryce’s face. The green potion splattered across his skin. He sputtered and sat up, nearly pushing me off him. As he wiped his eyes, I waited with breathless anticipation, hoping enough got past his lips.

Bryce’s hands shot toward me. I tried to leap out of his lap, but not in time. When his fingers curled around the back of my neck, and I looked into his eyes, my heart stuttered.

“Bryce?” I whispered.

His gaze was intense. “I’m so sorry I told the blacksmith you were amazing.”

I smiled as he grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled our lips together.

He let out a noise of relief in the back of his throat, and I clung to him as though I’d never let him go.

Because I wouldn’t. His tongue teased my lips, my teeth grazed his mouth, and I’d never been happier to be the type of assholes who would make out while their soldiers were busy fighting to save the world.

“All I want you to be is you,” he whispered against my mouth, and tears wet my lashes.

All I want is for you to succeed. That was what Will had said, how I’d become convinced that true love didn’t exist. Bryce made me wonder if maybe it did after all.

When we broke apart, we were both sniffling and wiping our eyes but trying to be sneaky about it, so we were basically just looking away from each other while carrying on a conversation.

“I’m sorry I left.” My voice wobbled. “I should have talked to you, especially since you warned me about miscommunication.”

“And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t good enough,” Bryce said shakily.

“You were right, though,” I warbled. “I was being more of a jerk than I really am.”

“It’s okay. I like it when you’re a little mean to me.” He turned back to face me, tilting my chin so I’d look at him. “And yes, I’m crying. I’m on a battlefield, and I thought my girlfriend dumped me, which I seem to remember makes it okay.”

“Correct,” I said, biting my lip and trying not to look too pleased, even though him using the word girlfriend made my heart jump a little.

“Look, I don’t expect you to promise you’ll never leave.

” Bryce wiped grime and tears from my cheeks.

“But here’s the thing. Now you’re free of the potion, I trust you’ll at least provide a warning—preferably using colorful, unmistakably angry language—if you intend to walk out on me again.

Don’t ever pretend to like me, then blindside me.

That’s the one and only expectation I have for you. ”

I smiled. “You’re allowed that one, Bryce.”

Someone kicked me in the shin. I pulled away from Bryce to find Kelly standing over us. She shoved my phone screen in my face:

YOU HAD BUT ONE TASK. THE KING GOT AWAY.

Bryce’s eyes went huge when he saw Kelly’s… unique stylus. “Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not.”

Bryce looked at me. “You do realize if we free everyone’s minds, the kingdom will, objectively, be worse off.”

“That must be why Greg didn’t tell us his plan,” I said. “If we knew what he was up to, we’d know the portal wouldn’t open back up for us, and we might not have helped him.”

In a flash, I considered helping Amy to restore peace so the portal would open, and we could go home. But then I remembered how it felt to be controlled, and a big part of me didn’t totally disagree with what Greg was trying to do.

I’d been stifled twice in my life, once by society, the second time by magic. “People should be allowed to be less than perfect,” I said.

“But the kingdom was at peace before. The people were safe and kind.” Bryce groaned. “Why is this so complicated? I thought storybook villains were just supposed to go around doing evil things for the sake of doing evil things, not because they had a good reason for them. What’s up with that?”

“We know what the right choice is,” I said softly. “We were brought here for a reason.” I stood and held out a hand, helping Bryce to his feet as well. “Let’s be the bad guy’s Chosen Ones.”

If this world wanted to try to show me what a despicable person I was, fine.

I’d prove it right and burn it down. The people should have been allowed to live outside of their prescribed capes.

They should have been allowed to say what they meant, to question authority, to quit or fail or succeed in whatever ways they chose.

Kelly waved impatiently, so we took off, following her out of the courtyard and into the castle.

“All this running is going to be the death of me,” Bryce said.

“Don’t be insensitive, Bryce,” I snapped. “Kelly was…” I dropped my voice. “Unalived.”

We burst into the throne room, where we were immediately surrounded by many guards and told to drop our weapons.

“Now that I think about it,” said Bryce, “we should’ve sneaked in here in the dead of night or something.”

“Dead of night?” I whispered viciously. “Bryce, we talked about this. Kelly is dead . Her life is over . She was probably murdered on a battlefield or something. Why are you making her feel worse about it?”

“Well, well, well,” said Amy, stepping forward.

The king stood a little way behind him, surrounded by even more guards.

“I can’t say I’m surprised, Bryce. I should have never trusted you after you already betrayed us once.

” Amy shook his head mournfully. “Everything I’ve done has been for the good of the kingdom.

We have never seen peace such as this, but you would rather have chaos. ”

The guards closed in.

“Bryce”—I drew out his name—“tell me you have a plan.”

“Don’t worry,” he said confidently, “I have a plan.” He reached into his pocket, drew out the pebble I’d given him days ago, and flung it across the room.

Everyone watched as it skittered over the marble floor. It wobbled for a few long moments before settling.

“Bryce,” I whispered in the silence that followed. “What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck?”

“I thought, since I’ve been carrying around that pebble this whole time, it only made sense it would eventually come in handy to save the day. But, uh, instead of providing a satisfying payoff, it turns out it was useless deadweight.”

“ Dead weight?” I said around gritted teeth, nodding subtly in Kelly’s direction.

“Sorry, Kelly,” Bryce said.

“Seize them!” shouted the king, because that was apparently all he said anymore.

The guards closed in. I reached for Bryce’s hand. Instead, Kelly wove her fingers with mine. I shuddered.

One of the guards grabbed me roughly by the arms, prying me away as another seized Bryce and a guard wrangled Kelly. We were dragged forward until we stood before the king. They forced us to our knees.

I looked over at Bryce, who gave me a wry little shrug. My throat tightened. I probably should’ve told him I loved him or whatever.

Amy stepped forward, sword drawn. “I bet you’re wondering how I managed to get the last Chosen One to work for me.

” He chuckled, giving his sword a little shake.

“She resisted for a while, but as soon as I slipped her a bit of hero potion, she realized the only noble choice was to help me. If only you possessed the same clarity of mind, maybe—”

“LEEROOOOOY JENKINS!” a voice roared. The throne room doors flung open, and our band of misfits barreled inside, led by the blacksmith.

The skeletons outside must’ve given them antidotes, because our little crew showed more skill in a few minutes than they had the entire time we’d known them.

Cuthbert effortlessly disarmed half the guards as Winston silently knocked the rest out with a flick of his wrist and a puff of green magic.

Pants carried Greg on her shoulder. The blacksmith gave everyone bear hugs as he administered vials of antidote.

Soon the misfits had everyone restrained.

Pants stepped forward then, and Greg dismounted her shoulder.

“Well done.” Greg strode over. “I admit, when I created a Chosen One portal, I only specified I wanted someone with questionable morals who happened to be holding oregano because I needed it to raise the dead. I had no idea Bryce would step through at the last moment and both of you would prove to be so cluelessly useful.”

“Thanks?” Bryce said.

And I began to laugh. Because this whole time, there was no reason why Bryce and I had been drawn through a portal.

It was all chance and bad luck. The whole time, I’d been convinced there was meaning behind it all as I battled with myself, trying to figure out if I was a hero or a villain, when all we’d only ever been were glorified pizza delivery people.

“What are you laughing about?” asked Bryce.

“We weren’t sent on a quest to get over our flaws. We aren’t the main characters. It’s not that deep. You’re, like, the cowardly bard, and I’m the self-centered comedic relief.”

Bryce shook his head. “You were not the comedic relief.”

“You’re right, I should give myself more credit.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He pulled me in for a kiss.

I hadn’t been brought to this world to learn a lesson or change.

It was okay to be messy and impulsive and wild.

It was okay to fail. It was okay to never understand why there was a t in mortgage , or to be honest about the fact that no one enjoyed conversations about the weather, or to acknowledge that red dye #40 was delicious and drinking greens kind of sucked.

I didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.

“I don’t want to grow old with you, Bryce,” I whispered against his lips. “I want to never grow up with you.”