Page 34 of The Underachiever’s Guide to Love and Saving the World

COURTNEY

By the time we returned to the inn, whatever mood the night had started with was officially killed, and things were weird.

We didn’t touch, and Bryce seemed preoccupied.

His guard was back up and stronger than ever.

What we’d had before coming to this world was uncomplicated, wild, and weirdly perfect.

I worried what we’d done had ruined it, and nothing would ever be the same.

A mile of empty sheets separated us as we lay in bed, completely silent—the kind of absolute silence that made it clear neither of us was sleeping.

Maybe it was all too much too soon, between our heated moment earlier, finding Winston, and my suggestion to work together.

Teamwork was a strange notion, but I figured having the Chosen One around might be like a good-luck charm that encouraged the pieces of the mystery to fall effortlessly into place.

Besides, we’d worked well together once before, even if neither of us talked about it.

It was a few months ago, and I’d noticed Bryce doing some yard work for Doris, the sweet old lady across the street.

He’d mowed her grass and trimmed her hedges, and naturally, that evening, I’d changed the name of my Wi-Fi network to mercilessly tease him about it: Bryce3sBushes.

I’d gone to close my laptop, but my breath caught when I saw his own Wi-Fi name switch before my eyes. We frequently changed our Wi-Fi names as a way to get the last word in, but the switches happened days apart, where they didn’t feel like an actual conversation. Not like this.

Pulse pounding, I watched as IknowU8myDoorDash disappeared to be replaced with: DorisBrokeHerHip.

I hadn’t known Doris was down with a hip injury. Hell, I barely knew my neighbors at all. But Bryce did.

At once, I’d wanted to try. Just a little bit. Not because anyone expected me to, but because a small part of me admired the way that, for all his doom and gloom, Bryce quietly did his best to make the world a little less shitty.

I’d changed my Wi-Fi name again: IllDoHerTrashOnTue. A pause, then his name changed again: IveGotHerMail. And I changed mine once more: IllMakeSureSheHasFood.

And that was that. All the chores were silently taken care of until Doris recovered.

Saving the world was a larger task than helping out a neighbor, but it gave me hope we could work well together.

Bryce stirred. I heard the sound of skin sliding over sheets, then his hand brushed against mine.

I held my breath. A moment’s hesitation.

His ring and pinkie fingers slid gently over my knuckles, his skin warm.

He wove his fingers with mine. Two of his entwined with two of mine.

Not holding hands, but not not holding hands.

In between. Just like everything with us lately.

My heart thumped, and I was sure he could hear it as silence again enveloped the room. Feelings in my stomach popped and fizzed like a freshly opened can of Pepsi. It felt nice, and I was too tired to remind Bryce that holding hands had nothing to do with saving the world.

When we returned to the castle the next day, instead of our morning beatdown, Amy led us to a secluded conservatory for breakfast, saying he had an important matter to discuss.

“I gathered you here in secret because I do not want this matter to spread alarm,” Amy said in the loudest whisper I’d ever heard as we settled around a small table, which was filled with plates of pastries, breakfast meats, and fluffy eggs.

I poured myself a cup of tea, the herbal steam clearing my sinuses.

Leafy plants covered every available surface.

Ficus trees and palms grew from planters set into the cobblestone, making the room feel less like a room and more like a tropical jungle.

Morning light filtered through vining plants hanging in the windows of the octagon-shaped space.

“Has the Evil One made an appearance?” I asked. After our evening with the village girls, I was even more eager to end the Evil One’s reign of terror.

“Not quite.” Amy buttered a scone. “I fear it is as the prophecy states. The rise of the Evil One brought with it other great evils. There have been stirrings—dangerous signs that the end draws near. There has been news of a dragon not far from here.”

My blood went cold. I’d known it was only a matter of time before news of the dragon came out, but part of me had foolishly hoped it had simply flown away into the wilderness somewhere, never to be seen again. I took a sip of tea, trying to clear the tightness in my throat.

“One of our knights had ensnared the beast several days ago,” Amy went on, “but when he returned to the place where he caged the monster, it was gone—freed by the Evil One, no doubt.”

It seemed like fate, the way the dragon had apparently been captured just in time for the Chosen One to come and fulfill the prophecy by taming it. I decided not to tell Amy I’d probably fucked up destiny by messing with the dragon before Bryce had a chance to properly domesticate it.

“So, we gather the troops and attack at dawn, right?” I asked instead.

Bryce shot me a dubious glance. I didn’t blame him.

I hadn’t been this enthusiastic about anything other than break time in a while.

When our eyes met, his expression morphed into one of those awkward, tight-lipped smiles you reserve for when you run into someone from high school at the grocery store, and you pray they keep walking.

We hadn’t talked about last night, and I got the sinking feeling we were doing the let’s pretend it didn’t happen thing.

Amy stroked his beard. “This needs to be dealt with quietly, lest it disrupt tomorrow’s tournament.”

I’d almost forgotten about the tournament.

“The beast has been spotted flying around an ancient burial ground half a day’s ride east from here,” Amy said.

Struggling to breathe, I said, with bravado I didn’t feel, “So, let’s gather a bunch of soldiers and recapture it.”

“Nay,” said Amy. “Best to keep this between the three of us. No need to spread panic. Why, Chosen Ones in days gone could take care of a dragon single-handedly in mere minutes. With the two of you working together, I’m sure there will be no issues.”

It would take us all day to get there and back.

Thanks to my mistake with the dragon, we were losing our third and final day of training, if not our lives.

Tomorrow, if we survived, one of us—no doubt Bryce—would win the tournament and be declared the Chosen One.

Everyone would expect him to lead the attack against the evil lurking in the city.

The thought was preposterous, like expecting someone to perform brain surgery after watching Grey’s Anatomy . My stomach began to hurt.

“Do you have any… tips?” Bryce asked weakly. “For ensnaring a dragon?”

“No doubt victory will come at a great price,” Amy began.

Bryce perked up. “That’s wonderful news. I love a bargain.”

I gave him a withering look, but he looked totally sincere, which was painfully adorable. He was like a bird who’d hit a window. I just wanted to scoop him up and hug him.

I was immediately annoyed with myself for the thought when Bryce was over there so effortlessly Pretending Like It Never Happened.

“How about a step-by-step guide?” I asked, shoving aside my breakfast plate. “Defeating Dragons 101.”

“Oh, of course! Why, I forget how new you are to all of this.” Amy launched into a cryptic monologue that had more to do with vibes, headspace, and feelings than it did actual strategy.

The leaf metaphor even made a reappearance.

Whenever Amy tried to make a point, he reminded me of one of those food blogs where you have to scroll through seven pages of someone telling you how green beans are sentimental in their life before they give you the actual recipe.

He could never just deliver pertinent information in a timely manner.

He told us about gods, the creation of the world, and an emotionally inspiring phrase that he saw embroidered on a throw pillow one time, before launching into a botany seminar covering the entire history and evolution of a nearby plant.

“And so,” Amy said, standing, which hopefully meant he was wrapping up his TED Talk, but we’d already been through several false endings—like when you go to the ballet, and the song seems like it’s done, so you start to clap, only for the song to begin again.

“And so,” Amy said, “I will leave you now. You should make haste, as we will need you back early tomorrow morning for the start of the tournament. When you face the beast, search yourselves. Search each other. But most of all…” He looked from Bryce to me.

“Feeeeel.” He whispered the word and backed away, palms spread.

A chill shivered along my spine.

Amy tripped on a flowerpot and went down.

I figured that was finally the end for him, but he scrambled to his feet, flapping dust off his purple robes. He glanced over his shoulder to see if we were watching. I gave him a tight-lipped smile and raised a hand.

Nodding awkwardly, he hiked his skirts disgraced-princess-style and scuttled away.

Armed to the teeth with weapons we didn’t know how to use, and baffled by travel directions we didn’t fully understand, we rode out of the castle, heading for the wilderness. It was bold of these people to assume I knew which way east was without Siri.

We were just outside the city when a tiny voice caught my ear. “Wait! Wait, my lady!”

I drew my horse to a stop, looking for the source of the voice.

A scuffling sound grew louder until I caught sight of a leather sack, seemingly levitating a few inches off the ground.

It bobbed to and fro as it approached. When it reached the ground below me, it rose a few inches, then plopped onto the grass.