Page 15 of The Underachiever’s Guide to Love and Saving the World

The almost-compliment threw me off. I hated when she did that. Switched sides when we argued until I couldn’t tell if she was insulting me anymore. I finally settled on “Thank you.” It seemed safe.

Her lips bunched as she sulked. “Knock it off. You came here trying to get in my head. Sleep every night in my bed, for all I care. It won’t work. The only reason you want to be the Chosen One is because I do.”

I rolled my eyes. Hard. “The only reason you’re still here is because I want it. If it weren’t for me, you would’ve dipped as soon as the king said the word training .”

Her mouth opened and closed a few times, making her look like the fish out of water she was.

Then suddenly a pillow smacked me in the face. Before Courtney could pull it back, I caught it and yanked. She fell forward, tumbling into my lap.

Courtney panted, wide, darkly lined eyes inches from mine. Her fingers wrapped around my thigh, her other hand braced against my chest, the pillow wedged between us like a Bible at a middle school dance.

“I wanted this a long time ago,” she said, a bit too theatrically to be convincing.

My brain heard what she meant. My body heard, I want this , felt her warm fingers on my leg, and totally lost its shit. Thank god for the pillow between us.

“Huh?” I asked intelligently.

“As a little girl, I always dreamed of being special.”

Deep breaths. “Oh, you’ve wanted to be a hero since you were a kid?

” Buy time, buy time, buy time. I tilted my head to the side, letting my features grow tender.

I touched her chin with a fond finger. “In that case… cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it.” I allowed myself two seconds to recover and relish her livid expression before giving the pillow a shove.

Courtney hooked a leg around my waist as she fell back, pulling me along. I landed with an oof over the top of her, bracing my forearms against the mattress on either side of her head, caging her in. “I’m afraid you’re just not hero material,” I managed.

She wrapped her legs around my hips, tugging me closer.

Fucking hell. “An appreciation for rest and relaxation doesn’t make me an unfit heroine,” she snapped inches from my face.

“What about hobbits? Those dudes laze around all day, and people think they’re great heroes.

God forbid I, too, appreciate multiple breakfasts and long naps. ”

And then the universe blessed me. Because I noticed her cheeks were pink . Not their usual angry red, but pink . Courtney was blushing.

She’d started a game I didn’t think she could finish.

A heady rush washed through me. This was maybe the best dream I’d ever had. I was bold, irresistible Bryce, and this round was mine.

Raising my brows, I shifted my weight, settling against her.

Courtney’s breath hitched, but she met my unspoken challenge, face set.

Her thighs flexed, holding me closer instead of shoving me off.

Nerves pinballed around my rib cage. Pulse beating hard, I rolled my hips ever so slightly against hers.

Her expression cracked, lips parting as she inhaled softly.

“You can’t get everything you want,” I said.

Her whole expression read: Oh, really? The fire flashing in her eyes seemed to come from inside of her rather than a reflection of the flames lighting the room.

Her feet slid lower around my hips as she fit herself snugly against me, expression now reading, Checkmate .

And fuck my life. She felt good. Warm and soft and—

“I always get what I want,” she practically purred.

My stupid fucking mouth was about half a second from saying a stupid fucking thing like Take what you want as long as it’s me .

Instead, what popped out was “Yeah, well, I always wanted to be a slug when I was a kid, and look at me now.” Which was also a pretty stupid fucking thing to say.

I tried to save it. “A pillar of masculinity.”

Courtney’s legs loosened, then slid completely off me. The air felt empty and cold. “Keep your pillar away from me.” Her entire face tightened in a strange way I’d never seen before. She was likely overcome by the unfamiliar touch of a man, or voluntary human touch in general, and—

Oh. She was laughing. Full-on squirming with uncontrollable mirth, laughing .

“You wanted to be a slug ?” Her peals of laughter redoubled.

“Oh my god . What kid sees a slug and thinks, Goals ?” She snorted so loudly, she was probably encouraging the villagers’ pigs in the city below to begin mating.

I’d never seen Courtney smile like this before—cheeks all crinkled up, umber eyes glittering slits.

It caused a heated tug in my gut that must’ve been anger because it couldn’t be anything else.

My hands found their way to her sides, presumably to still her, to shut her up .

But. Once my fingers curved around her ribs, they rested there helplessly, feeling the vibrations as she unknowingly laughed at my childhood trauma.

She was such an asshole without even trying, and I couldn’t stop her because it was a relief after years of pitying looks and sticky silences.

And screw it, it was a dream anyway. I wasn’t breaking my don’t-get-close-to-Courtney rules. None of it would matter when I woke. I’d spend a day avoiding her like I did every time this happened. Then after I slept again, my skin wouldn’t heat when I was around her anymore.

Her ribs expanded against my palms as she drew in a deep, gulping breath, finally getting ahold of herself.

“Bryce,” she said, in a tone I could only describe as gentle .

I licked my dry lips. “Yeah.”

“You’ll always look like a slug to me, okay?”

As she fell back into yet another fit of laughter, I rolled off her, flopping down onto the other side of the bed. I shut my eyes. “Sad how a slug is still a better Chosen One than you.”

“Wow. What a comeback.” Sheets rustled as she wriggled underneath them, shaking the bed.

Silence fell.

“Courtney?” I said into the darkness. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“We’re not doing the romance-book thing where we stay up all night talking about our feelings and braiding each other’s hair.”

“I want you to know”—I drew in a fake, shuddering breath—“tomorrow, when I wake up with the most majestic raging boner you’ve ever beheld, it is in no way your fault.”

“If I suffocate you in your sleep, you won’t wake up at all,” she responded sweetly.