Page 59 of The Tsar’s Obsession (Bratva Sinners #1)

“I have to send Yuri home," I murmured, my fingers intertwining with hers. “He needs to be buried on the third day, which won’t happen, but…I need to go to his funeral.” I hesitated, picking my words. “I’ve known him for twenty years; he was like a father to me.” Leaving her wasn’t an option. “Do you–”

“Can I come with you?” Mia beat me to the question, her innocent eyes filled with hope.

Fuck, yes.

"Yes! I was hoping you’d want to. I don't want to leave you." Relief filled me as my fingers slid over any part of her I could reach. “I never, ever want to be without you.”

"Don't ever let me go again.” Mia’s warm words were right at my ear, taking away my pain with every sound.

But something was on her mind; I knew her well. “Tell me. Tell me what’s eating away at you, Sunshine.” After months of living like a zombie, I was ready for anything.

"Kirill, I..." Mia broke off, clearly unsure of how to word her thoughts. "I was really hurt that you lied to me.” This was an undeniable truth, and my bad decision weighed heavily on me. “It made me question our whole time together. Please promise me now...that no matter what happens, no matter who you hurt, or,” she paused, raising her eyes to me, “or who’s in love with you…that you will always be truthful with me.”

A crushing weight settled on my chest. I never revealed Polina’s true feelings to her. In my attempt to keep her safe, I kept her in the dark instead.

“I promise.” My voice resolute, I knew that I would never let her down again. “I promise I will always be truthful with you.” Everything else in my life meant nothing if I couldn’t have her beside me.

“I don’t want any more secrets, whispers, or doubts.” She placed her cheek in my hand. “I want all of you. No matter what it is. Tell me, don’t protect me from anything. You’re mine, and I’m yours.”

She was always honest, and I would be too.

It was time. I had a whole thing planned, but right now was the right moment. "Wait here.” I left a sloppy kiss on her lips. “But I guess you can't go anywhere anyway." I held in my little laugh, and in a minute, I was already back, ready to spill my heart and soul.

“You changed my life, Mia. Not last year, ten years ago. When I first laid my eyes on you,” she nodded, a smile on her lips, “I became a different man. I guess I always had it in me, but I never considered that I could be what I am now, for better or for worse.”

I gulped, nerves slowly beginning to overtake me.

“With that one kiss…I knew I had to change so I could get to you. And I wanted you so badly. Only you.” Fuck, I hoped I would keep it together and not break down.

“But I had no education, no other life skills, only crime. So I slashed my way to the top…because I wanted you more than anything.”

Mia’s eyebrows furrowed, but she nodded with understanding.

“I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, Sunshine. And I will never love anyone again. Only you."

I captured her lips in mine, as sweet as honey.

Intoxicating like a drug, indulgent like all the luxuries of the world combined.

My lips ghosted on her cheek, letting her in on the little secret.

“I had a different plan for this. In fact, I ordered this after our first meeting in your office, and I wanted to do this a long time ago, but. ..this year was a bit of a shitshow."

I climbed over her, gently pulling her up into a sitting position. Confusion flickered across her face, but then realization hit her once I got down on one knee.

Adrenaline surged through me, hitting harder than any criminal activity I’d ever participated in. This was the most terrifying thing I ever had to do. I withdrew the little black box from the pocket of my sweatpants, and my gaze flitted to her stunned, beautiful face.

"Mia,” I paused, collecting myself. “I know you probably thought you’d marry a doctor or whatever, someone…normal. I know we’re from two different worlds and our mother tongues are different, but—” I could barely catch my breath “—you know…you know that us being together is destiny, baby.”

She stared down at me, her eyes shimmering with tears.

“I love you more than life, Mia. I never want to be without you.” The world disappeared; it was just our bubble of love.

“The last four weeks have been the worst of my life. And I've been in prison and beaten and tortured and almost killed, but…being without you was hell. I can’t do that ever again.” I swallowed hard and said it, “Will you marry me?”

How many dangerous and lethal things had I done in my life? But this was the most frightening moment.

Mia sat motionless, leaning on one side, her expression unreadable. Her eyes traveled from me to the ring, her lips slightly parted and her bottom lip trembling. The silence was agonizing, but then, softly, she whispered, “Yes.”

Yes.

The best three-letter word to ever exist. My life was complete; I needed nothing else. I had achieved my biggest goal in life. A huge smile lit up her face, and she sealed her answer with new confidence. “Yes, I will. I want to be your wife, and I want us to belong to each other.”

This . This was the pinnacle of my life.

I dreamt about this moment for so long, and I waited, patiently, for the time to be right. She was mine forever; no one would be able to take her away from me. Of this I was certain. I had no doubts, no reservations, only pure joy in my heart and soul.

The rest of the day passed in a haze, our bodies tangled beneath the sheets. I worshipped every inch of her, lulling her to sleep in the early evening.

With security behind the front door and outside the building, I left Mia to rest and headed to the hospital to close another chapter of my life.

Staring out the dark window, Polina lay motionless in bed, her eyes sunken and her hair plastered to the pillow, no longer ginger.

I’d seen Polina without makeup, a manicure, and high heels only when we met—a very different time.

The polished look was her facade: a ruthless, calculating woman, always put together, never hurt, never in doubt.

But this year ground her down. Just like me.

I took a step inside the room, and as soon as she heard me, her hands flew to her face. “Don’t look at me, okay? I don’t want you to see me like this.” I came closer nonetheless, dragging a chair to the side of her bed.

“I’m glad you’re alive. I got really scared when I saw you hanging there.” I started from where we left off. “On my birthday, too. I’ll have to get a new birthday date.”

She stayed silent, her bony hands trying to hide how she felt. I wasn’t sure if it was the lighting of this place or the fact that she had been in a coma for so long, but her hands were gray. Dead. This whole ordeal was like a tragedy that kept on giving. “How did he do it?”

I still didn’t have all the details, bitterly hoping she wasn’t in on the whole thing with him. Polina breathed deeply, gathering the strength to speak.

“He let something slip,” she croaked. “Got too cocky, I guess. And I finally pieced it all together.” Her hands slid down, and I got a glimpse into her eyes. Hollow, empty, dead eyes stared at me, sending a chill down my spine.

“He called your Colombian contact by his name, and neither one of us ever knew it,” she whispered.

“But he also knew that I wasn’t stupid.” She gulped with great effort.

“He dragged me into the safe house. I tried to reason with him, but…he made me put the n–” She broke off, filling her lungs with air.

“The noose around my neck. Thanks for coming on time.”

Her last words were so official, like she was saying thank you for a service I provided, not for saving her life.

“You’ve saved my life countless times; you don’t need to thank me.”

There was a pause in our conversation, both of us coming to terms with her words.

“I saw him here one time," she continued, her voice strained.

“He was doing something to the IV, but then…I drifted back to sleep.” Her bony hands shook as she divulged her speculations.

“I guess he was keeping me alive…but drugged.”

It was silent again, only the hissing of some medical machine and the hallway paging system providing the soundtrack to this fucked-up reality. That’s why he visited her all the time. That’s why he wanted to stay when it happened. And I was too fucking blind, too stupid, and not suspicious enough.

“Are you in love with me?” I shot the question out, wanting to get it over with. Polina held her breath, and her pale skin flooded with a semblance of color. And then her tears appeared. Large, devastated.

“Is that what you came here for? To pick at all the scars on my heart?”

“I don’t like to be kept in the dark, and it seems that both you and Dmitry have kept me in the dungeon this year. Now, I want answers.” And after all my questions were answered, I’d send Polina back home and arrange for her safety.

A few minutes elapsed, the tension between us buzzing louder than anything in the room as I waited for an answer.

“Yes. I’ve been in love with you for a long time.

” Polina finally lowered her hands, the tears running freely now.

“But you never saw me. It’s like I was an empty spot to you.

” She wiped the tears off her lips, her distress not jiving with my expectations of her.

“But I get it. Some things are not meant to be. I’m sorry I sent that letter to Mia.

Dmitry planted the idea in my head a long time ago, and when I saw…

” She broke off to wipe her nose while I didn’t dare move after hearing this new revelation.

“When I saw that Mia wasn’t just entertainment to you, that it was getting serious… I did a bad thing, okay? I’m sorry.”

Jesus fucking Christ. At this moment I realized I had to reassess the loyalty of everyone. Every single person around me.