Page 12 of The Tsar’s Obsession (Bratva Sinners #1)

Are you an angel?

Mia

Kirill : How’s the hangover, Miss Philophobia? K.

The text zinged straight through my skull like a live wire. Jesus. I tried not to think about last night, and I blamed Viv— heavily blamed her for sending that first text.

Did he drop a hundred grand to stay in that gelato shop? And then gave me a foot rub? And I showed him Viv’s text about riding his dick?

Fucking hell.

Slumped over my couch, I sipped on the green juice and texted with one thumb.

Mia : I would assume death feels like this.

It wasn’t all bad, though. His hoodie was still wrapped around me like a security blanket, the scent of him literally making me weak in the knees.

Kirill : Did you get my care package?

Ugh. He was so…so unforgettable. So sweet. So goddamn irresistible.

I could nurse my own hangover perfectly fine, and he knew that. I was a big girl; I ran my own business and had my own life. I didn’t need anyone. But for the first time in forever, I wanted someone. Not just someone. One.

Mia : Yes, thank you. That was very sweet of you.

Mia : But also, it's weird that you were in my house. You tucked me into bed, we talked about your dick. You're my client.

Excitement swelled in my chest at these silly texts that I exchanged with a big, bad man.

He was bad, wasn’t he? There was no way in hell he was a simple venture capitalist or whatever other nonsense he presented to me when we met.

I indulged myself in a smile as I watched the little three dots appear, indicating that he was typing.

Kirill : Nonsense, I'm happy to discuss my dick anytime and I loved fucking you into bed.

My gasp echoed in the living room as my eyes climbed onto my forehead, but another text popped up immediately after.

Kirill : Oops, you know what I mean. English is my second language so, sometimes I make mistakes. [angel emoji]

Genuine laughter bubbled out of me at his typo, the warm feeling spreading through all of me.

Mia : I…I’m still too drunk for this...

Kirill : In that case, let’s pick up where we left off last night. Are you going to let me corrupt your innocent little soul as Viv suggests?

I was in la-la land, flirting with a boy I liked, texting like a teenager.

Mia : Are you the devil?

A loud knock on my front door shattered the blissful moment. I dragged myself toward it, swinging it open for Viv and Carly.

Viv paused mid-step, looking over the hoodie with a knowing spark in her eyes, her lips curling in a smile. “Keeps you warm, huh?” She tilted her head. Before Carly could clue in, I ushered them both inside the apartment.

“I was cold, okay?” I muttered under my breath while Carly made her way to my kitchen with a bag of groceries.

“Sure,” Viv drawled, and then, “So? Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Ride his big dick?”

I rolled my eyes. “First of all, we don’t even know if it’s big, okay?” I chuckled through my ridiculous words, happiness and joy filling me up from this conversation. “And second, who do you think I am? To sleep with a man I barely know?”

Viv sighed, as if she was about to give up, but instead she doubled down. “He’s a giant.” She nodded enthusiastically. “Do you really think he has a baby carrot down there?”

My laughter echoed through the apartment, the images flashing in my head both alarming and arousing.

Viv smirked, whispering her next words. “Don’t fucking tell me you haven’t been thinking about it.

” She pointed her finger at me, her long black hair swaying with every movement of her head.

“Just get on birth control, that’s all I’m saying.

God knows you’ve been abstinent for so long; you’re practically a nun. ”

“Hey! Come help!” Carly called loudly from the kitchen, and still shaking with laughter, Viv and I joined her to help make brunch.

Carly gave us both jobs, and diligently, I cut and toasted the bagels and arranged the smoked salmon on a plate.

Carly and I had known each other since university, and as of late, our friendship had become complicated. Carly was never as close as Viv, but still, I had known her for almost a decade, and we’d stuck together through university, boyfriends, and hobbies.

But there was a thorn between us. Ari. Carly and Ari had known each other since they were kids, and she was the one who introduced us. And ever since that day, she struggled to hide how much she regretted it. She was madly in love with him while I ignored every single one of his advances.

Carly was smart, hardworking, loyal, and a bright and lovely girl. She longed to have a family, but only with Ari. It had become an uncomfortable scenario for everyone.

With a coffee cup in hand, Viv promptly returned to our conversation as we sat at my round dining table, the bagels and lox making me slightly nauseated.

“Carls?” Carly hated that nickname, but Viv gave zero fucks, as always.

“First, please pack for the Bahamas trip. Don’t make us wait like last time.

” She rolled her eyes, and Carly nodded apologetically while she chewed her bagel.

“And second, did you know that Mia has her eyes set on a man she just met?”

Carly’s head twisted to me like in a horror film. “Man, this job will kill me,” Carly lamented. “I’m always out of the loop!” She complained about her long hours, and I finally checked my phone, itching to see a text from the man himself.

Kirill : Are you an angel ?

Mmm, fuck. For him I’d be an angel, a demon, fucking anything.

Viv began another rendition of ‘Mia needs to get laid’, and Carly listened without interrupting, her enthusiasm at the news practically making her giddy.

Something about this conversation pushed me to do a very stupid thing.

Mia : If you’re into that, I can be.

Fear pulsated through my legs at the risky text, and I tuned back into the conversation about men and love, almost slamming the phone screen down on the table.

What the hell was I doing?! Openly flirting with a client? I just hadn’t been with anyone in too long, and he was objectively hot with his height, perfect face, and eyes that ruined all other men for me. But there was nothing linking us; we were from different worlds.

“…Mia should just give it a chance.” Carly’s motherly tone woke me up from my thoughts.

I’d already guessed her next words. I knew Carly well.

“You have to open up your heart to someone , Mia. You’re almost thirty!

” Carly was petrified of missing the marriage-babies train and would often comment on our ‘biological clocks.’

“I–” I stuttered, feeling like I had to defend myself. “There’s nothing to give a chance to! He’s just a client, that’s all!” My phone buzzed again, and I urgently swiped it off the table.

Kirill : I’m into you. You can be whatever you want with me.

Blood rushed to my cheeks, my chest, and my entire body. This was crossing all lines now. I wasn’t drunk anymore. There was no excuse now.

“He’s a client for, like, one more week, until he buys something.” Viv brushed off my words, but I was about to regurgitate my breakfast from the nerves of what I let the texting turn into.

“I don’t want to be disappointed. I don’t want the headache.” I moved the conversation along with a lie. The truth was I didn’t want the heartache . I never wanted heartache again.

“Babes, please, a man like that won’t disappoint you between the sheets.” Viv took another sip of coffee and spoke louder, “Get that Russian dick, girl! And report back!”

I couldn’t stop the giggle, and Carly chuckled. “Conflicting feelings are allowed, Mia.” Carly turned to me fully, her eyes shining with encouragement. “Maybe he likes you too. What’s the worst that could happen?”

I didn’t want to answer that question.

“I don’t even know him,” I deflected again. “He has some woman hanging around him.” I still had no idea who Polina was to him, but I hated that she knew him. That she had access to a version of him I didn’t. That she belonged in his world. “I don’t want to be anyone’s maybe.”

The heaviness of my words hung between us, and neither Viv nor Carly interrupted my train of thought.

“I want to be someone’s everything. I don’t want dick.

I want a man who will be my man, you know?

” I took a swig of my coffee, the hot liquid burning my throat.

“I don’t want mediocre. I want…what doesn’t exist. Magic, passion, chaos.

” Every word confirmed it—Kirill fit the bill, but I shoved the thoughts away, irrevocably.

“I want to drown in someone. I don’t want subtle. ”

It was easy to be wanted , like Ari wanted me, but I wanted to be valued . I wanted to know that the man I was with would sacrifice everything for me, the way I would for him.

“I think they call that an existential crisis.” Viv raised an eyebrow, her smile wide and self-assured. “Anyway. Let us know if the package matches the vibe when you find out, huh?” Viv cackled, her words easing the tension I’d created.

The ring of Carly’s phone interrupted the brunch, and for once, I was thankful she was always working. “ Hi Mrs. Goldb-” but she was cut off by the person on the other line, her face slowly draining of all color. This was Ari’s mother, of all people.

“What?!” Carly’s voice shook, and both Viv and I sat up in our chairs. “Oh my God! Yes, yes, I’ll come now!” She hung up the phone just in time to cry out, “Ari’s in the hospital!”

I paused and repeated her words to myself. Ari was in the hospital?

“His mom j-just called!” Carly was already packing her things, and I looked on, my whole body blazing up in realization.

“She said he was mugged a few nights ago and badly beaten!” She rushed to the front door, both Viv and I on her heels.

“Apparently, he’s in very rough shape. I’ll text you later. ”

“Wait! We’ll come with you,” Viv interjected and turned to me. “Right?!”

I was stupefied. Unable to fully process the barrage of information Carly unleashed on us, I put on a pair of sandals and followed, numb.

He was mugged a few nights ago. Ari was with me a few nights ago. Is that why he disappeared? Is that why he never texted me back? And I lived all this time blissfully unaware?

The white walls and fluorescent lighting of his hospital room were closing in on me. This wasn’t real. This was just a bad dream, a movie maybe. But that IV dripping into Ari’s arm was not a hallucination.

Ari wasn’t badly beaten; Ari was pummeled half to death.

He was unrecognizable. His handsome face, the one that always sported that boyish smile, was cut, blue, and raw .

His eyes were closed shut, the swelling so extensive that it was hard to tell where the bridge of his nose started.

His nose was broken, his ribs bandaged, his shoulder dislocated.

I felt sick. Guilt and anger swirled inside my stomach, affecting all of me. I should have looked for him that night. I should have done something, anything , to find him.

It all piled on in my head as Viv and I cried in each other’s hugs late at night outside the hospital.

Maybe if I did hold his hand, he wouldn’t have disappeared.

Maybe if I didn’t walk away from him, all of this could have been avoided.

Maybe if I were a better friend, he wouldn’t be on morphine, fighting for his life.

Nothing added up in my head. Mugged? We were in fucking Tribeca. No one beats someone to this degree over a fucking wallet and gold chain. No, this was something else, something sinister, something way deeper.

With the Bahamas birthday trip cancelled, Carly updated us on his state of being. Night after night, she would send the same text— no change.

And yet, despite everything, despite the horror, the guilt, the rage burning through my veins…my mind did something I couldn’t understand.

It drifted. Away from Ari and straight to another man. The man whose green eyes I couldn’t forget, whose hoodie I slept in, who lived rent-free inside my head.