Page 35 of The Tsar’s Obsession (Bratva Sinners #1)

Soap Opera

Kirill

The physical pain was nothing compared to how deeply I fucked up. Mia almost died, I almost died, Yuri almost died. Everything felt like a complete fucking breakdown, and it came out of nowhere.

I couldn’t look Mia in the eyes. This was not how her life with me was supposed to start. She was plunged into chaos. No warning, no armor.

“Kirill, I’m not mad or disappointed in what happened. I was just really scared,” she reassured me again with her gentle voice, lying on her stomach beside me and kissing my hand.

Oh no.

Guilt overtook my whole consciousness, and at that moment, I realized that I had made a huge mistake. Being infatuated and obsessed with her for a decade was not the same as loving her in real time. This wasn’t a hypothetical anymore.

I didn’t fucking deserve her, and it took me a near-death incident to realize that. She was pure, clean, innocent, and I was unworthy in every way.

Every fucking way possible. I took her perfect, happy life and in one afternoon opened the door into the complete darkness and violence that surrounded me.

I knew how to navigate it, but she had no clue what to do.

Somehow, the weight of this responsibility hadn’t crossed my mind before, not until I got stabbed and woken up to reality.

The minute I arrived at Manuel’s estate, the countdown began. He knew that I would back down on this deal, and he was waiting for my visit.

There were more questions than answers. My security team disappeared. Where were they stopped, where were they killed, and were they involved? Yuri located ten bodies the next day.

Yuri fucked up, but so did I. God, did I fuck up. And the conversation to be had with Polina was going to be a fucking shitshow.

It was a true miracle that Manuel didn’t land a bullet in my chest the minute I crossed the threshold of his office. It was fate that I pressed the trigger first.

Alas, there was one variable I didn’t predict. As soon as I made my way out of Manuel’s office, a cold, sharp blade pierced my side, and I was met with a most hateful gaze by none other than the beautiful and neglected woman on Manuel’s knees a week ago.

Before I could realize what exactly happened, Yuri’s bullet blew her brains out, his hand dragging me out of there.

I watched her limp body slide down the wall, leaving a trail of blood, but my delirious mind saw Mia instead.

The dynamics were too similar to the current reality unraveling in my life.

Mia’s love infiltrated every cell within me. It burned everything inside me while at the same time filling me up with terror. This unknown woman placed her life on the line for the man she loved, and she lost. Would Mia ever do something similar?

My question was answered only a few minutes later when I watched the love of my life come to my and Yuri’s rescue, the realization of the severity of her actions settling inside me like a boulder. Here she was, placing her life on the line for me.

“I know, Sunshine. I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through all that.” My weak attempts at reassurance intensified my guilt. She placed her head on my shoulder, careful not to hurt me.

“What’s going to happen? When we go back?” Her fingers intertwined with mine in a delicate motion while she posed a question that I didn’t have an exact answer to. However, there was one thing I knew for sure, and I pivoted towards that.

“Will you move in with me?” The question was quiet, like an antidote to all the action we lived through.

“Not only is it too dangerous for you to live alone after what happened, but mostly, I just don’t want to be apart from you, ever.

Just say yes.” The desperation seeped through every word, but Mia didn’t panic. Instead, she shook with laughter.

Leisurely, she sat up on her knees, and her devious smile only added fuel to the fire inside me. “You’ve known me…for only a few weeks. Did you really think this question through?” Yet, her joyous smile was a complete contrast to her seemingly logical words.

“No. I’ve known you for over nine years, Mia.” The truth of my words hung in the air, and Mia’s smile was wiped off her face in an instant. “I think that’s enough time to know when something feels right, Sunshine.”

The warm tropical wind rustled the palm trees outside while she considered my words, her eyes wandering from me to the pillows and outside. I held my breath, waiting for her answer, but I had an inkling as to what she would say.

“I want to say yes, but it sounds completely insane,” she admitted with a small smile. “I…I’ve never lived with anyone before, and I’m afraid…” Mia broke off, trying to find the words. “That this is going too fast, too crazy. And I don’t want to fuck it up.”

I loved her with all my heart, and her answer was so well thought out and logical, but I wasn’t going to fold so easily. “Then just try. If you begin to feel like it’s too much, we can reassess.” Every ounce of my effort went into making this sound as calm as possible.

She waited again, letting the pause extend longer and longer.

“I’m not a very nice person in the morning before my coffee.” Silly excuses were now leaving her lips. “And I have too many shoes. They’d probably need their own closet.”

And just like that, it was a done deal.

“Well, our new place has lots of closets, yes? Let’s take possession earlier so your shoes can be comfortable.” Her cheeks heated, and she shot her eyes into mine.

“You mean to tell me that when you interrogated me about the place, it was because you wanted to make sure I liked it? How could– how could you possibly plan that!?” The naivete of her question carried the sweetest undertone.

“Yes.” I didn’t even hesitate. I had nothing to hide anymore.

“I knew back then that we would live there. Together.” Mia’s facial expression was a mixture of alarm and excitement.

“I love you, Mia. Not just now, but all these years. I came here for you and I had to make sure you loved the place you were going to live in.” At this I thought that perhaps it was best to tone it down a notch. “Only if you want to, of course.”

I gave her an out, nervous energy pulsating through me. Mia sat on the bed, almost statuesque, her teeth inflicting sharp bites onto her lower lip as she thought it all over.

“Fuck.” A sharp breath left her lungs. “You’re such a fucking professional manipulator.

You always get what you want, don’t you?

” With the stealth of a viper, Mia’s body snaked up mine, her lips only an inch away.

Her eyes were like a whirlpool that I was pulled into all too easily every time.

She was gentle and considerate, making sure not to put pressure on the injured area, but at the same time, showing me who I really belonged to.

“No.” My light whisper fanned her cheek. “You have me, which means that you always get what you want now.” I reassured her, my hand on the crown of her head.

“If I move in, will you fuck me every night how I like?” God, her presence beside me, on me, with me, was sending me into heaven.

“Yeah, baby. Exactly how you like.” I was mush while Mia ground her body on mine. “I’ll eat your pussy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; just sleep with me in my bed.” Mia’s light laughter filled up every inch of me with happiness. Being beside her was all that mattered.

I had many plans for my life with her. We would get married, we would have kids, and we would live a family life together. Here, in Russia, somewhere else; I didn’t care, as long as it was with her.

My footsteps heavy, I limped up the steps to my office. The whole building was plunged into deadly silence. Everyone knew what happened. The news spread like wildfire—here and in Russia too.

Yuri and my security team were preparing for some heads to roll, but it wasn’t Yuri that I was going to send to the guillotine; it was Polina.

“Maybe you should let her down easy.” Dmitry spoke in a hushed voice a few minutes before she was due to show up.

“She’s had a rough go here. Plus, she’s really worried about you.

You know how she feels about you.” He twirled his switchblade like always, leaning on my desk in front of me, his muscular body straining through his black polo shirt.

How she feels about me? What the fuck did that mean?

“What are you talking about?” I couldn’t even hide my annoyed tone. “How does she feel about me?”

Dmitry looked down at me with an expression of mild disbelief. After a minute of silence, he dropped the bomb on me. “She’s in love with you, Kirill. Do you– do you not know that?”

At this precise moment of earth-shattering news, there was a light knock at the door .

“Why would I fucking know tha– are you joking? Because I’m not exactly in the mood for–”

“I’m not fucking joking! Please fucking tell me you know that!” Dmitry leaned in, his eyes wide, his expression angry, and my mind rejecting every single word he said.

What the actual fuck !?

“Come in!” he called out, his eyes still eating me up like I was some deranged lunatic who had no idea that his closest partner was experiencing these feelings.

Polina rushed in, both apprehensive and looking disheveled like never before. Her eyes puffy and red, her shirt untucked, her hair tangled, she breathed fast, latching her eyes onto me.

Reality felt warped. Dmitry’s words were being confirmed in real time. I didn’t know what to believe. Someone betrayed me, someone close, and my suspicion automatically fell on her. She was responsible for my team. She sent that text. She knew something that I didn’t.

Quickly composing herself, her voice sounded rough. “Are you in pain?”

I paused, taking a second to digest Dmitry's words and her pitiful appearance. Dmitry left us two alone, not saying another word.