Page 11 of The Tsar’s Obsession (Bratva Sinners #1)

Ugh, I wasn’t myself with her. I was powerless, hypnotized, and timid. With all other women in my life in the past, I took control, I did what I wanted—fuck, any other chick would have been holding on to the headboard for dear life at this point. But not her.

I wanted all the magic, all the romance, all the flirting. I never had the time or interest for anything like that before.

“I’ve made plenty of bad choices in my life, Mia. I only want to make the right ones going forward.” I did. I only wanted to make the best choices for us. It was suddenly silent as we sat on her bed, so close to each other, seconds ticking by.

“I think about you, you know?” Mia said the words, and it took me a second to understand them. Her voice was soft, almost hesitant. My heartbeat abused the inside of my ribs at this confession. Her cheeks flushed instantly, and she bit her lip, like she regretted saying it.

I leaned in slightly, gaze locked onto hers. “Yeah?” My voice was barely above a murmur. “What do you think about?”

“Just you,” she shrugged uncertainly. “Your eyes. Why they look so familiar. And why you’re here, in my life…giving me a foot rub.” She sat up and whispered her last words and looked down into my lap.

I hadn’t even fucking realized I had her foot in my lap! Fuck, I had to get out of here before I did something stupid! The consecutive chime of her phone broke the moment between us, and I was thankful for the distraction.

Her eyes still on mine, the phone appeared in her hand from her back pocket. Whatever text she read set her whole face on fire; that much was obvious as she tried to hide her smile.

“Who’s texting you so late?”

“Viv. She’s texted a thousand times, checking that I made it home alright.”

“Yeah? Is that why you’re blushing so hard?” At my words, her eyes jumped to mine again. “What’s in that text?”

“Just girl stuff.”

“Share.” I wasn’t sure why I was asking for it. Maybe because I hoped it was about me.

“It’s a secret,” she whispered, leaning in even closer. I was only going to make the right choices going forward, I told myself. Mia had a lot to drink; no way was I going to kiss her in this moment, a moment she might think I took advantage of, so I kept my distance, fighting with all my desires.

“It’s about me, isn’t it?” I pushed carefully.

“Are you in high school? Asking a girl you like if she’s texting about you?” Damn, Mia threw caution to the wind.

“I never went to high school. And who said I liked you?” Clearly, no one had to say it. It was written all over my face.

“You never went to high school?” Mia zoned into reality, lifting the flirtatious energy.

“Forget about that; tell me what the text says.” Like a desperate and stupid idiot, I demanded to know. Mia turned the phone around.

Viv If you’re not riding that big dick right now, we can’t be friends.

Viv : He will corrupt your innocent little soul, and you should fucking let him .

I reread it. And then again. A slow and dark satisfaction melted through me.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Viv’s been trying to get me on a dick for a long time. After tonight, she’ll be encouraging yours.” Mia fell back into her pillows, her eyes closed and her smile wide, but those words were seared into my brain.

“I have a nice dick; you should consider it.” That was a fucking stupid thing to say, but Mia laughed, the angelic sound filling the room and the void inside me.

She turned to her side and hugged a pillow.

“Why is she so adamant? Are you into pussy and not dick?” I prompted with another foolish comment, keeping that smile on her face.

She held the answer hostage for a full minute.

“No, it’s just that…” She kept her eyes shut, and I didn’t dare move, lest I scare her away from an answer. “I haven’t been with anyone in a really long time. Like, really long. And Viv’s just being Viv.”

Bingo. My diligent stalking of her life revealed that there was no relationship in her life for a while, and she hadn’t been seen with a man in a very long time indeed.

“Mm. How come?” I continued with my foot rub, enjoying how her skin felt in my hands.

“Didn’t want to,” she almost whispered. Then after a beat, “I don’t believe in love.

In anything real. There’s no such thing.

” Her eyes opened, and she stared into nothing, her answer stirring resentment inside me at whoever hurt her.

Mia was made for love—to be seen, to be cherished, to let it wrap around her like something inevitable and true .

“Someone broke your heart,” I concluded, observing her intently.

But Mia said nothing else. She shared no more details. There were no more giggles spilling from her lips. Instead, her eyelids fluttered shut and her breathing slowed.

I stayed on the bed for a few minutes longer and watched her sleep, wondering how long it took me to get here. But this was it now. She was in my life. Whatever was happening between us was unstoppable, and I would enjoy it all, feasting on every single glance, touch, and hint.

Before leaving her to rest, I covered her with a blanket and placed a glass of water on the bedside table, resisting the urge to stay on her bed and stare at her all night.

Back in my office in the middle of the night, I ordered some green juice, snacks, coconut water, and other nonsense to arrive at her door first thing tomorrow morning. I would be there every step of the way, embedding myself in her mind, the same way she’d kept me hostage all these years.

Her words turned over in my mind when I finally climbed into bed; I don’t believe in love. In anything real. There’s no such thing.

But it was right in front of her.

Real.