Page 94 of The Stranger in Room Six

Of course I want to get into Imran’s car.

But I’m aware that my hair is greasy; that the skirt suit I wore for my court appearance is now hanging off my bones; that I smell because the soap ran out in our showers last week; and that there are grey streaks in my hair.

More importantly, I am not the Belinda he once knew.

As he climbs out, I see that Imran has gone grey too. His face has also filled out but his eyes are the same. They hold my gaze as steadily as he held me in bed all those years ago.

‘Before you say anything,’ he says, ‘it was Elspeth who told me you were being released today.’

‘I didn’t know you and she were speaking.’

‘I had to find out how you were. You wouldn’t respond to my letters, so I got one of my people to find her.’

‘I can’t believe we’re having this conversation,’ I say. ‘I don’t want you to see me like this.’

‘You look as beautiful as ever,’ he says.

I take him in. His handsome face. His aquiline nose. ‘Where’s your wife?’

‘We divorced by mutual agreement, as I told you.’

‘Divorced?’

‘You didn’t read all of my letters, did you?’

‘It would have hurt too much,’ I blurt out. ‘Besides, it’s too late.’

‘You and I still have time,’ he says urgently.

‘No,’ I say. ‘We don’t. Time has changed me. Doing time has changed me.’

‘Please don’t say that, Belinda. Take a while to think about it, if you need to, but don’t rule me out.’ He presses a card into my hand. ‘Here are my details if you want to get in touch.’

‘I won’t,’ I say, sounding firmer than I feel inside.

Another car pulls up, it’s my taxi. Before I can change my mind, I get in and give the cabbie the address of the hostel my probation officer has arranged for me. As we drive away, I can’t resist turning back to look at the only man I’ve ever loved. But we’ve turned the corner and he’s out of sight.

Now

Mabel gasps. ‘Why didn’t you take him up on his offer?’

‘Because too much had happened. I couldn’t make Imran happy. Not after murdering Gerald.’

Mabel shakes her head. ‘I spent years looking for Antonio,’ she whispers. ‘I would have fought for his love if we’d found each other, even if he hadn’t liked the person I’d become.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Never mind,’ she says briskly. ‘Now tell me about Karen. I’ve waited long enough.’