Page 72 of The Stranger in Room Six

Now

Mabel is shaking her head. ‘You silly girl, Belinda. He might have rescued you.’

‘How? He couldn’t have got me out of prison.’

‘But he would have been a comfort to you.’

I gulp. ‘I often think about ringing him. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved. But there’s no future, is there? I’ve messed it all up, Mabel.’ Tears are streaming down my face. ‘I’ve lost so much. My eldest daughter. My husband. Our home. Now look at me!’

‘Belinda,’ says Mabel sternly. ‘Look at yourself, at the way you help others. You carers are angels – well, some of you. Besides, I thought you loved your job. That’s something, isn’t it?’

‘I do,’ I say. ‘But I’m a graduate and I’ve never even used my degree. What a waste! Anyone could do what I do here.’

‘How can you say that? There’s nothing more important than caring for another human being. It requires particular skills that not everyone possesses. You’re a good, kind woman, Belinda. Give yourself credit for that.’

How wrong she is. I may be out of prison but the old, dark Belinda still sits on my shoulders. Why else would I be deceiving this kind old lady?

‘Have a cup of tea to make yourself better,’ she urges. ‘Take a biscuit too. That’s right. Now please. Tell me. What happened next?’