Page 56

His nostrils flared. “Are you drunk?”

I put my free hand on my hip. “Maybe.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he released a sigh distressed enough to sink my shoulders and arouse my guilt. Not fair, the guilt, so I forced my shoulders to straighten.

“Did you know that alcohol impairs healing, Aryella?” He quickly and silently counted the few empty bottles scattered around. “How much have you had?”

I arched an eyebrow. “What does it matter to you?”

“What does it matter to me ?” he growled, fury roiling through his muscled form. His angry gaze landed on the uncorked bottle of odorless, hot-pepper hell I’d left on top of the liquor cabinet. His eyes shot open, stunned. He cursed under his breath and reached for the bottle in my hand.

“No!” I growled and held my fifth beer—just opened—against my chest.

He chuckled humorlessly. “Well, aren’t you an angry little lush?”

“Don’t call me little !” I snapped, because I wasn’t sure what a lush was. “And I didn’t say I was done!”

“Okay, Aryella.” He narrowed his eyes and nodded calmly.

Too calmly. He stepped forward until his body was flush against mine.

Those tiny, trembling pants—always impossible to control in his presence—began to flutter past my open lips.

My already unsteady knees shook, threatening to collapse when he gripped my chin between his thumb and index finger, lowering his lips dangerously close to mine…

A squeal escaped my mouth when the bottle slipped out of my hand.

I gasped and shoved against his chest. The bastard had only done it to distract me.

“You are done .” The command snapped out of him, low and deep. He kept his eyes locked with mine as he chugged the rest of my beer, his lips lingering where mine had just been. He set the empty bottle on the liquor cabinet and nodded towards the bed. “Sit down.”

Fuming, I saw no choice but to obey.

“Eat.” He handed me a few pieces of bread. “I’m surprised you haven’t retched all over this cabin.”

I took a reluctant bite and watched as he filled my empty metal canteen with water from the faucet.

“Drink this. When you’re finished, I will refill it for you, and you will drink another.”

My shoulders slumped. “I don’t want to.”

“Then you’ll regret it in the morning.”

I scowled. “Is that a threat?”

“No,” he bit out. “It’s a fact.”

The exhaustion in his eyes was palpable. My heart hurt to see it, and my brain hurt not knowing why he was so tired.

“You were gone all day.”

“And I have returned.” He stood over me, arms casually crossed, his handsomely scarred face cold and assessing as he watched me chew and swallow every piece of bread he’d given me.

“Where did you go?” I asked, lifting the canteen of water to my lips.

His eyes trailed to my mouth as I drank. “I had something to take care of.”

I scowled, set the canteen down on the side table, and crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not eating or drinking any more until you tell me where you were.”

Groaning, he ran his hands over his face. “Do you think I enjoyed being away from you, Ella? Do you think I enjoyed the panic I felt every waking moment, not knowing what or how you were doing?” he snapped. “It was hell. Being away from you is absolute hell, but I had to do it.”

“And do you think I was enjoying myself ?” I shoved at his chest again, only because I knew my strength was nothing to him. “Don’t you think I was worried about you ? Wondering if you had been hurt or killed?”

With a tired sigh, he reached to pull me close. “Ella, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“But I do!” I slapped his hand away. “You once asked me if it’d ever occurred to me that I might mean more to someone than some prophecy!

Well, did it ever occur to you that you might mean more to me ?

” The world around me spun, tears bit at my eyes, but my voice was clear.

“I had no idea where you were! If the roles were reversed, if I was gone and you didn’t know where I was, what would you have done? ”

Without hesitating, he answered, “I would have ripped apart the world until I found you.”

“Yet I was stuck here waiting for you, just like when Elowen left!”

I regretted it as soon as I said it. Because it wasn’t true. Everything Elowen had done, he had done the opposite. He had left me warm and safe with plenty of food. He had left a note, promised to come back and kept his word.

Horrified awareness and regret cast a pall over him, his grim features illuminated by the roaring fire beneath the hearth. He opened his mouth to speak, but—

“Were you with a woman?” The words snapped out of me before I could think them through. I had no right to ask.

“ Ella .” My name was his plea on his lips. “Gods, of course not!”

“Because I would understand—”

“I tracked down the Insidions’ camp,” he rushed out, his patience thin.

“I was going to go last night, but you were hurt. So this morning, when I was confident you were alright, I went to that camp. I slit the throat of every single person in that camp to ensure there is no chance that news of you will get back to Molochai. That is where I was. So no , Aryella, there is no woman .”

The cramping tightness in my stomach eased with relief I didn’t think was mine to feel. But I felt it anyway.

He rested both hands on my shoulders and rubbed gentle circles over the cloth of my nightgown. “I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t want to scare you. But I needed to cover our tracks.”

“You should have taken me with you. I could have helped you.”

“You were hurt , Ella. Stabbed ,” he bit out, fury shuddering through him. “I will not treat you like some helpless creature because you’re far from one. But I also won’t apologize for taking care of something myself if it might prevent you from being mortally wounded twice in twenty-four hours.”

I sighed, resigned. Indeed, I would have been no help. I wrapped my arms around his torso and breathed in the scent that had become my home.

He pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I’m sorry.” His strong arms folded around me. “Forgive me.”

My heart cracked wide open at his plea.

“I forgive you,” I whispered into his chest. I had already forgiven him a few minutes after realizing he’d left. Inhaling him again, I registered that he felt and smelled clean. “Why don’t you have any blood on you?”

He chuckled. “I bathed in a river on my way back to spare you the sight of carnage.”

“You bathed outside?” I looked up at him with sad eyes. “But it’s so cold.”

His gaze lingered on my mouth. “I often find cold baths very necessary.”

I sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled him with me. He followed, lowering himself to one knee—body tense and flush against my knees. I knew it wasn’t fair or appropriate or smart…

But the alcohol gave me courage, and I felt inclined to take advantage.

“Ella,” he warned as I guided his large, calloused hands to my ribs.

I took my bottom lip between my teeth. His gaze—heated and hungry—darted to my mouth. I let my thighs open so there was nothing between us but the cloth of my nightgown and my undergarments.

A deep, guttural sound formed in his throat, and I could tell by the tense air that passed through his lips that I was doing something right. Or… wrong . Tempting him to dangerous limits. My tongue wetted my bottom lip, and he followed the motion like he wanted to worship it. Worship me .

“Now who’s being cruel?” he growled through gritted teeth.

This was the power I really wanted: the ability to bring this man to his knees with desire. No other man. Only him. I didn’t care about manipulating fire or wind, communing with the earth’s forces, or whatever else I was supposed to be able to do.

He removed his hands from my ribs, careful not to brush his thumbs against either breast no matter how I ached for him. He cupped my face in his hands instead. I released a sigh, deciding as long as he was touching me, I was happy.

“Don’t you think you deserve it, me being cruel?” I whispered. “Just a little?”

He hummed, the sound low in his chest. “Time to go to sleep, Ella.”

But even as he said it, he wove his fingers through my hair. I let my face tilt up toward him, at his complete mercy. He could overpower me, kill me or kiss me, do whatever he wanted with me. But I was not afraid. He would protect me from everything and everyone, at all costs. Even himself.

He shifted, and my eyes widened at the sudden realization that he was hard against my thigh. I sucked in a tattered breath and met his gaze—glassy and overcome with lust that he no longer tried to hide from me.

The lust he refused to act on.

“Yes,” he hissed out a low chuckle when he realized I felt him. “By now, it should come as no surprise that I can’t control my cock around you.” His mouth curved into that devilish smile. “I know you felt me last night, Ella.”

“Difficult not to,” I breathed.

“Mmm.” He hummed through clenched teeth.

“I’d ask for forgiveness, but that would imply it won’t happen again, and I don’t enjoy lying to you.

” He caressed my chin between his thumb and forefinger.

“But I can control myself .” He pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek and pulled away.

“Go to sleep.” His gaze was stern as he covered me to my waist with blankets, but his voice was gentle.

“ Now .” I watched while he poured himself a few finger-lengths of Damond’s liquor and tossed back the whole glass.

“Will you come to bed?” My eyes and heart were hopeful when he looked at me and didn’t immediately object.

His hand flexed like it had a mind of its own while he contemplated.

“No funny business,” I muttered, fidgeting with the edge of the plain-gray quilt in my lap. Funny business—as Gemma had once called it . But the words sounded silly on my lips. “I promise.”

That handsome half-smile lit up his face.

His broad shoulders relaxed, and a light chuckle rumbled in his chest. He unlaced his boots and motioned for me to make room.

Happy to comply, I shifted farther beneath the covers.

But instead of laying on his back, he positioned me to face away and slid into bed behind me.

Straight to spooning tonight, then. He would hear no complaints from me.

His warm, soothing lips kissed my temple three times as he curled his body around mine. “Sweet dreams, Ella.”

I sucked in a breath at the feeling of his arousal—massive, even constrained by his pants—against my backside.

All night long, his desire for my body remained apparent. But all night long, he just held me.