Page 22

But I could try to get one.

So I turned to follow him.

“Ary, where are you going?” Gemma groaned .

“To make sure he’s okay.”

Caz threw his head back and cackled while the others watched me in skeptical silence. The man had made it very clear that his top priority was to care for me. To teach me. To protect me. To make sure I was okay.

How could they expect me to do anything other than try to return the favor?

“Someone has to,” I muttered under my breath, and followed him.

It took only a moment to find him. He did himself no favors with the swift, heavy sound of his footsteps dominating the rocky ground beneath his pacing. His menacing, rippling shoulders and torso threatened to split through the long-sleeve shirt he wore.

All black today, perhaps to match his attitude.

“Are you okay?”

He laughed humorlessly, shaking his head. “That friend of yours really needs to learn to keep her damn mouth shut.”

I lifted my eyebrows. “I don’t think you have the right to decide that for her, but even so, she was just trying to get a rise out of you.”

His fists clenched and unclenched—the bloody one too—and it looked like he was itching to… hit something.

“I’m surprised how well it’s working. What’s gotten into you?”

He ran an enormous hand—the clean one—through his dark hair. And for the first time—perhaps since he’d found me that day in the barn—he looked flustered. “Tell me you’re not going to.”

“Not going to what?” I asked carefully.

“You…” His chest heaved with heavy, frantic breaths, clearly irritated with having to explain himself. “You deserve infinitely more than a quick fuck, Ella.”

My lips parted in shock. “I… what? ”

The glowing fire of his eyes licked me. But finally, he stated, voice low, cold, and uncompromising, “Tell me you’re not going to let anyone touch you. ”

I straightened my shoulders and crossed my arms over my chest. “That’s not fair for you to decide.”

“Well, Your Highness,” he sneered, stepping toward me. “I’m not fair.”

“Yes, you are.” I held my ground, chin up. “You are. I can tell that about you.”

He grimaced. “Then you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

“Maybe I would like to.”

“No.” The chill in his tone sliced through me, leaving my nerves and senses covered in a thick layer of frost. “You would not.”

I rolled my eyes and turned from him, very much over this ridiculous conversation, when—

“Do not let Elias Winterton touch you.”

I halted, turning back. Fury flickered inside me. “Excuse me?” The gall of him. This domineering need for control. What gave him the right?

Gavin stepped forward, shaking his head in warning. “Don’t let that little shit put his hands on you, Ella.”

“You can’t—that’s not—” I forced a deep breath. “You don’t get a say! It’s already decided. I’m supposed to marry him.”

He took another step closer, only an arm’s length away now. And there wasn’t just wild anger in his eyes as he looked at me, but… a silent plea. “I’ll kill him if he touches you, Ella.”

I forced my shoulders to straighten. “ You can’t protect or keep me from the man meant to be my husband!”

“Then I’ll be his fucking nightmare.”

My mouth fell open, shocked into silence by his brutal honesty. Though I couldn’t deny that the thought of having Gavin Smyth as an impenetrable barrier between me and all those wanting to control my life was enticing.

A shield. My shield.

So even though he was wrong, even though he had no right, I gave in. Just that little bit. For my sake, not his.

“Fine,” I surrendered.

“Fine?” he countered, eyes narrowing. “Is that permission you’re giving me, Your Highness?”

“Yes, fine ,” I bit out. “Be his nightmare.”

His mouth curled into a snarling grin, and his jaw clenched. I inhaled sharply at the menacing sight. I hated how he drew out my fury and comfort like twin peaks of a staggering mountain I could not climb. But we had come to a concession.

Before I could object any further, he brushed past me, adding coldly, “You’ve had four days off. Too long. We resume training tomorrow. Two hours, every morning, before we get moving.”

I started to remind him that walking for ten to twelve hours straight was not what I would consider a day off. “But—”

“This discussion is over.”

I groaned. “Wait, what about your hand?”

He just clenched that hand, blood trickling out through his fingers like it was nothing. Like that pain was nothing.

Nothing compared to what he felt at the thought of me with another man.

***

We walked for twelve straight hours. Gavin led the way and everyone—including Caz and Finn, who were in the best physical shape of the rest of us—struggled to keep up with him.

I tried to hide my limp and how my sore body trembled with exhaustion.

That shooting pain from just nights before, when I’d started my cycle, still nagged at my lower back, through my hip, and straight into my thigh.

At least the wolf bite on my arm was healing well enough that when I rolled up my sleeve and left it exposed to fresh air, it didn’t hurt.

Regardless, even though I was exhausted, we began training the next morning, just as Gavin had said we would.

At least he was a man of his word.

The sun was warm enough for me to forgo my scarf and hat.

After a run to stretch my sore legs, I shed my jacket too.

Underneath, I wore a forest-green wool turtleneck with black pants.

The chill bit at my cheeks, but I was comfortable.

My silver hair was loosely braided and rested over my right shoulder.

My body ached, but I stood as tall as possible in front of Gavin, arms at my sides, head held high. Waiting.

His cold gaze assessed my thin but defiant and slightly stronger form. Yesterday’s all-black ensemble had been traded for a navy-blue long-sleeve shirt and stone-colored pants, which looked just as irritatingly good on him.

“Well?” I gestured for him to begin. “Waiting on you.”

His eyebrows rose, and a surprised grin lit up his normally grumpy, bearded face. “Good morning to you too.”

I glared back at him, revealing nothing.

He sensed my anger and nodded, grin fading. “I was a prick yesterday.”

I blanched. Definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“I will not bore you with an explanation,” he continued. “But I apologize. And you should know that you’re doing remarkably better, Aryella. You’re stronger than when I found you, and I’m proud of you.”

I lifted one wary eyebrow, silently encouraging him to continue.

“When I found you, I thought you looked…” That pulsing jaw muscle raged beneath his cheek. “Barely alive.”

I scoffed. “Apologies for giving such a disappointing first impression. ”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?” I challenged, crossing my arms over my chest.

“You were cold,” he hissed, stepping forward. “You were hungry, scared, alone, and I…” His now-bandaged hand flexed at his side, and he uttered, “I did not like it.”

I focused my gaze on a reddish-brown rock at my feet before kicking it away.

It had only been a week, but that week felt like a lifetime.

A new life, and a new world. I felt just a little stronger.

My stomach was almost always full, and I could feel the color returning to my cheeks.

I could feel the hope, the reason. For living.

So, agreeing with him, with my eyes still on the rocks near my feet, I muttered, “I didn’t like it either.”

The ground crunched beneath his steady footsteps. I felt his index finger beneath my chin as he tilted it upward. My lips involuntarily parted at the sight of his scarred, handsome face, the dark beard I wanted to touch, and the scar over his right eye.

“Five more laps to that boulder and back, twenty lunges each leg, thirty push-ups, core and balance exercises, and then I’ll teach you something more interesting than throwing punches.

We have little more than an hour before the others are ready to leave, so hurry.

” I opened my mouth to object, but he held his index finger to my lips and tsked.

“Can’t let you get lazy, can we, Your Highness? ”

I scowled and shoved his hand away. “Never call me that again.”

And I ran, hearing his deep laughter echo behind me.

***

“A chokehold?” I gasped, eyes wide.

I’d hurried through my warm-up as quickly as my aching body would allow. It took determination to push through, but I’d done it. I would need a lot of sheer will in the coming days, months, likely years, if I was to accomplish all that was expected of me.

“Do you think you can one-two punch your way through a fight?” Gavin replied, smirking. “I haven’t taught you to disarm or, better yet, fully eliminate a threat. And you should learn to do so first without a weapon.”

Eliminate.

He meant kill.

I swallowed down a bit of bile.

“You’re small, so to get a good sleeper hold on someone my size—”

“No one is your size,” I grumbled. “You’re huge.”

He let out a low, surprised laugh and cleared his throat. “You’ll need to jump your enemy from behind and apply immediate pressure to the trachea with your forearm. If you fail, they’ll easily flip you.”

“You want me to jump on you?” I nervously rubbed at my elbow.

“Jumping on Caz’s back didn’t seem to bother you any,” he bit out, brown eyes flaring with unexpected scorn.

My eyebrows shot up, and I rushed out, “Fine, okay.”

He came around behind me and fastened his arm around my neck.

My heart thumped in my chest at being so close to him, so completely wrapped up in him. And then when I repeated the exercise, I would be wrapped around him.

If he wanted to, he could snap my neck in the span of a single breath. His behemoth bicep covered the entirety of my neck, past my collarbone. I breathed in the rich, warm scent of cedar and leather and—

“Take your right bicep in your left hand, behind your victim’s head, and squeeze.” He showed me the pressure without hurting me.

I expected the word victim to rattle around my brain for quite some time.

When he was confident I had those few details memorized, he motioned for me to jump onto his back .

In response to my hesitation, he gave an annoyed grumble. “I don’t bite, Aryella.” Flecks of darkness danced in his gaze and he smirked. “Unless you ask me to.”

Groaning, I lunged forward, up, and he caught me without stumbling, like my weight was nothing. For a man his size, I supposed that was true.

“Wrap your legs around my waist and hook your heels inside my thighs.”

I did as he commanded, fastening an accurate, albeit weak, chokehold around his thick neck. He was so broad that I could hardly fit around him, but I did my best.

His dark hair brushed against my cheek. A ripple of lightning, flanked by desire, shock, pleasure, and a little bit of terror, struck my stomach.

What compelled me to lean my mouth closer to his ear, to brush against him, lips on his skin, and say what I said, I’m not sure I will ever know.

“Why do I have the feeling I’m the first person in a very long time to have you in this position?”

His powerful body trembled with a shudder. His fingers tightened against my sleeve. And his pulse… it stuttered .

A feline smile—wholly uncharacteristic of the person I knew, the person I was— tugged at my mouth as I bit my lip .

“Are we interrupting?”

I was dropped to the ground as swiftly as possible without being thrown onto my rear.

Gemma and Ezra stood behind us. Ezra, scowling at Gavin. Gemma, arms crossed. Neither of them was pleased.

“He’s teaching me to kill someone with just my arms,” I explained, a little too rushed.

Gavin distanced himself from me by a few steps.

Gemma’s eyes darted suspiciously between us. “Uh-huh.”

“Time to go!” Finn broke the uncomfortable silence. A gift from the Selvaren if there ever was one.

Gavin made off toward camp without another glance in my direction. Gemma followed, and I meant to, but Ezra stopped me with a gentle grip on my wrist.

“Hey.” His blue eyes were speckled with worry. “You know he’s dangerous, right?”

I watched Gavin—the rough, violent man they knew—as he walked away. Naively, I replied, “I don’t think he’s dangerous to me.”

Ezra cringed at my words, eyes plagued with a sad pity I hated. As if I was blind, stupid prey, running straight into the den of a predator.

“Just be careful, okay? I don’t know enough about him. None of us do, other than that Simeon sent him, and I don’t—” He swallowed hard. “I don’t want him to hurt you.”

I thought of Gavin’s touch, his presence, how it made me feel—safe, warm, alive. That solace I felt whenever he was close. I thought of all these things more than I cared to admit, and I couldn’t imagine him hurting me.

But Ezra was right. He wasn’t the type of man I could simply be attracted to. He was the type of man I could get lost in.

Truly, Gavin Smyth’s effect on me had the potential to be devastating.

“Okay.” I placed my hand over Ezra’s and squeezed. “I’ll be careful.”

And I meant it.