Page 24 of The Seven Sisters

‘But look at me! I’m the “coper”, the person who sorts everyone else out! And it’s me who’s falling apart. Have you opened your letter?’ I asked her.

‘No, not yet. I think – or at least Ifeel– that I want to take it back with me to Scotland. And stand on the moors in my special, private place and read it there.’

‘Well, this is my home, where I belong, so I opened mine here. But I feel so guilty, Tiggy,’ I confessed.

‘Why?’

‘Because . . . I’ve been crying for myself. Not for Pa, but forme.’

‘Maia,’ she sighed, ‘do you really think there’s any other reason why people cry over the death of a loved one?’

‘Yes, of course. They cry for a life cut short, for the pain the person suffered, surely?’

‘Well . . .’ Tiggy gave a small smile. ‘I know that you find it difficult to believe what I believe, that thereislife after death and that our souls live on. But I can imagine Pa is now in the universe somewhere, released from his inadequate human body – free for the first time. Because I could see so often in his eyes that he must have suffered a lot during his life. And all I can say is that when one of my deer dies and is released from the pain of living, I understand that I’m crying at my own loss, because I will miss the animal so badly. Maia, please, even if you can’t believe in anything beyond this earth, try to understand that grief is all about the people left behind. Aboutus. We’re all grieving for ourselves and our loss. And you really mustn’t feel any guilt about it.’

I looked at my sister, feeling her calm acceptance. And I silently acknowledged that the part of me she’d called a ‘soul’, I’d consciously buried for many years.

‘Thank you, Tiggy, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for lunch.’

‘You didn’t miss much. In the end, it was only Ally and me. Electra was packing and said she’d eaten far too much junk anyway, and CeCe and Star are still in Geneva. They went to see Georg Hoffman this morning.’

‘Ma told me. Presumably CeCe went about money?’

‘I’d assume so. I’m sure you know she has a place on an art course in London she wants to take. They’ll need somewhere to live and that will cost money.’

‘Yes.’

‘Obviously Pa’s death affects your circumstances far more than any of us. I mean, we all know you stayed here to keep him company and watch over him.’

‘Tiggy, that’s not really the truth. It’s because I had nowhere else to go,’ I admitted bluntly.

‘As usual, I think you’re being incredibly hard on yourself. Pawaspart of the reason you were here. Now he’s gone, surely the world is your oyster? You have a job you can do anywhere, you could go wherever you wanted.’ Tiggy looked at her watch. ‘I really must go and pack. Goodbye, darling Maia,’ she said as she threw her arms round my shoulders. ‘Please take care of yourself. You know I’m always at the end of the phone if you need me. Why don’t you think about coming to visit me up in the Highlands at some point? The landscape is so beautiful and the atmosphere unbelievably tranquil.’

‘Maybe, Tiggy. Thank you.’

Soon after she left, I roused myself to go and say goodbye to Electra. But as I was walking across the gardens to the jetty, Electra herself appeared right in front of me.

‘I’m off,’ she said. ‘My agency said they’ll sue me if I’m not there at the shoot tomorrow morning.’

‘Of course.’

‘Hey.’ Electra cocked her head to one side. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yes, I’m fine.’

‘Listen, now you have no Pa to mind here, why don’t you pop over to La-La Land and come and stay with me and Mitch for a while? There’s a great little guest house in the garden, and really, you’re welcome to it anytime.’

‘Thanks, Electra. Keep in touch, won’t you?’

‘’Course I will. So, see you soon,’ she said as we reached the jetty and saw that CeCe and Star were just getting off the boat.

‘Hi guys,’ said CeCe, and her smile told me that her mission in Geneva had obviously been successful.

‘Are you leaving, Electra?’ Star asked.

‘I have to get back to LA. Some of us have to work for a living, you know,’ she said pointedly and I knew the comment was meant for CeCe.

‘Well, at least some of us are using our brains, not our bodies to earn it,’ CeCe retorted, as Ally arrived on the jetty with Tiggy.