Page 62 of The Secrets We Keep
“You’re all ready for him?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna give him my room. I’ll take the couch.” Jasper, when he’d moved out from Chicago a couple of months ago, had taken a small one-bedroom apartment in Cathedral City, the Coachella Valley town right next door to Palm Springs. It was a cute little place. Three small buildings with two apartments each, gathered around a common tiled area with a pool in the center. The whole place was hidden behind fencing covered with bougainvillea. He’d found a job as a cashier at Trader Joe’s and, because he had so few expenses, was able to make ends meet—just barely.
“You know you can stay here. I wish you would.”
Jasper grinned slyly. He kissed Rob. “Ialwaysstay here. I’m wasting the pittance I make on that apartment. And I love my little place. It’s like a Spanish Barbary Lane,” Jasper said, referring to the place where the characters from Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City series lived.
“Break your lease. If I’ve told you once…. You’d have so much more here. And I’d give you your precious space.”
“Sure you would.”
Rob was forever trying to reel Jasper in, to get him to live with him. And while the prospectwastempting, Jasper was determined to make it on his own out here before he committed to anything.
He didn’t want to be a gold digger. He wasnot, as many guys his age out here were, looking for a sugar daddy. He still remembered, from time to time, Lacy telling him he should go after a rich guy, inspired by the miniseries they’d watched together,The Assassination of Gianni Versace. He would always wonder if she’d had her real father in mind when she had this brainstorm. He’d never know.
And even though he did spend the majority of nights with Rob, he liked having a place of his own to call home. He’d never had that before. He’d grown up under his father’s roof. And after that, he’d always had roommates.
Living alone, even if he didn’t put it into practice all that often, gave him a feeling of freedom and independence. “Besides,” he told Rob, “I don’t know if Dad’s ready to see me shacking up with some guy.”
“Some guy?” Rob’s mouth dropped open in mock dismay.
“Some guy who’s close to his age to boot!”
Rob had yet to meet Jasper’s dad. Jasper wasn’t sure how it would go. He’d sent Dad one of Michael Blake’s books, and his dad, never much of a reader, had eaten it up and gone on Amazon and bought several more.
“You don’t have to buy them, Dad. I can get you whatever you want for free.”
His father had responded, “Ah. I want to help support the guy. He’s good. I’m no freeloader, son.”
Even though Jasper knew Rob could live quite well without the royalties generated by his father’s purchases, he loved him for making the effort. And yes, he could see that the apple had not fallen far from the tree when it came to taking things as opposed to earning them.
And now his dad and Rob would be together at the same table. He was afraid his father would be starstruck and wouldn’t behave like normal. That he’d be shy. He was a bashful man to begin with, quiet, taken to letting others take the lead.
But at least he hadn’t given Jasper any grief about his and Rob’s relationship. Other fathers might have been pained or squeamish that their son was gay and involved with another man. Or, if not that, that their child was taken with someone twice his age.
Jasper looked over at Rob, who was sitting, poised, on the edge of the white leather couch. He looked deep in thought. Jasper knew why—he wanted to get back to his work. Since moving here to the desert, he’d observed that about Rob, how he could disappear into the worlds he created out of his imagination—and this time, out of Jasper’s personal history.
They would move in together eventually, maybe even get married. Rob was all for it and was ready right now.
But Jasper needed time. Time to discover who he was, beyond the horny kid he’d been in Chicago. Lacy’s death, meeting Rob, and all the revelations tied to those two things had changed him deeply. He embracedlifemore than he ever had and knew how short and precious it was, knew it in his bones.
Before he contemplated taking the big step of moving in with Rob, he wanted to see what it was like to truly make his own way. Maybe become a success in his own right. Of course, Trader Joe’s would never make him rich. But hewasstudying for his real estate license. He was pretty certain that the wealth Rob had was well beyond his talents (few people ever experience the kind of lifestyle being a multipleNew York Timesbestselling author afforded), but, at the very least, he could stand on his own two feet and make his way in the world comfortably.
When the day came that they set up household together, he could at least say he was contributing. Pulling his own weight. It was important to him.
Today was special. The only two men Jasper had ever said he’d loved would meet each other. Jasper so wanted things to go well.
He stood and told Rob, “You need to get back to work.”
Rob didn’t need to be told twice. He was off like a shot to the casita out back that was his home office.
Jasper mumbled after him, “I need to be on my way anyway. I wanted to tidy up a bit at home and stop at Ralphs to pick up provisions.”
It was okay. No offense taken by Rob’s sudden departure. He’d already gotten used to throwing in his lot with a man who lived out most of his days with imaginary friends.
JASPER SATup on the couch. Outside, through his patio sliding glass doors, he could see the black sky, the stars, and a waxing moon that was almost full.
He stood, crept over to the bedroom door, and pressed his ear against the cheap metal. He could hear his dad snoring inside. It made him smile. He was glad Dad was comfortable.