Page 34 of The Secrets We Keep
“Must be nice.” Jasper took another sip of his cocktail. He pointed to the phone’s screen, and as he did, it faded to black. “So what’s with the boarding pass? Just spend a few hundred so you could talk to me?” Jasper raised his eyebrows. “That must also be nice.” He didn’t really believe Rob was planning on flying later on tonight. To Chicago. With him.
Rob scratched his head and then gave him the sweetest, most sheepish smile Jasper had ever seen. “I was actually hoping to go with you. For a lot of reasons. The easiest one is I’ve never really spent any significant time in Chicago, and it seems like a great place. I’ve been in and out on book tours and once had the surreal but kind of wonderful experience of attending the International Mr. Leather competition one Memorial Day weekend many, many years ago when I was young and buff and looked good in a studded harness.” He smiled and winked.
And Jasper bet hestilllooked good in a leather harness. Damn his false modesty.
“Anyway, I was hoping we could spend some time together onyourhome turf. Maybe, if you had time, you could show me the sights. I hear there’s a wonderful architecture tour on the river. I’d like to see Millennium Park. Maybe hit the Art Institute and see its impressionist collection.”
Jasper laughed at the absurdity of it all. “Wait. Let me get this straight—now you want me to play tour guide? You are one very strange man.”
“Guilty. And yes, I do.” Rob reached across the table and covered Jasper’s hand with his own. He squeezed gently and then left the touch there—electric. “Look. I know you’re confused. I know this is a hell of a lot. If I wrote down what you’ve seen lately, the conversation you’ve overheard, I think my agent would send it back to me. She’d say, ‘Rob, I can’t sell this. Nobody’d believe it. They’d think you’re off your rocker. NowIknow that’s true, but your readers don’t have to.’” He chuckled and his gaze went faraway for a moment as Jasper presumed he imagined his agent.
Jasper imagined her too—as Lauren Bacall in some Fifth Avenue high-rise office building. “Truth is stranger than fiction, right?”
“Definitely in this case. And I want you to know everything.
“But I also want to get to know you better. That day after Heather’s wake, I felt a connection. And I don’t often feel that. And then when we started emailing each other, I came to know a guy far beyond his years in wisdom and maturity. If I hadn’t met you in person and known your age, I would have guessed you were much older—and I mean that as a compliment. I’ve never been the kind of gay man who chases after boys, hoping they’re into daddies. That scene is fine for some, but it’s never been for me. I’ve dedicated so much of my life to career that I haven’t had much in the way of romance, but what attempts I’ve made have always been with men my own age, or even older. I know, I know—don’t even bother to wonder ifthey’restill alive.”
They both laughed at that. And Jasper could sense, a little, the tension beginning to ease between them. Their waiter brought their salads and asked if they’d like more drinks. Rob said, “We must have another round. Our flight is eight hours away.” And suddenly, the idea ofthatseemed very funny as well.
Rob went on, “I know I scared you away. So let’s take this horrible flight together. I’ll get a room downtown somewhere, and we can hang out. No pressure.”
“And you’ll tell me the story? All about Heather?”
Rob nodded and tears sprang to his eyes.
“Yes. Yes. And you’ll tell me your story too. ’Cause I live for stories.”
Jasper began eating. He didn’t know whose story would be more incredible.
He’d switched his phone off, but he noticed the screen come to life as the phone vibrated. Dad was calling.
“Do you need to get that?” Rob asked.
“Not now.” Jasper sent the call to voicemail.
Chapter 10
THEY LANDEDat O’Hare tired and grouchy. Rob hadn’t been able to sleep a wink and, when he caught up to Jasper in the terminal (Jasper hadnotwaited for him), he figured the same was true for him. Rob didn’t want to make things worse by saying out loud the teasing joke that came to mind: “Now youdolook close to my age.”
But it was true. Jasper had bags under his eyes. His hair was mussed, and his clothes, if not his face, were wrinkled.
“Hey, hey, Jasper! Wait up!” Rob tried hard to keep his tone of annoyance at bay.
Jasper whirled on him. When Rob saw the look on his face, he questioned if he’d made a mistake. He figured Jasper’s features, lips drawn into a thin line and eyes narrowed, only softened because it sunk in for Jasper how stunned and hurt Rob was at his expression. “I’m sorry,” Rob muttered. “But I just wondered—”
Jasper cut him off. “I’m so fucking tired. I don’t mean to be a dick. But, uh, what’s your plan?”
“My plan?”
“Yeah. I mean, like, where are you gonna stay?” Jasper glanced down at the floor for a minute and then back up at Rob. “I’ve got a roommate, and we’re crowded into a little one-bedroom on the Far North Side. It’s about the size of your master bathroom.” He grinned, and for a moment and despite what he was saying, his face lit up with a kind of radiance. “I couldn’t let you stay with me if I wanted to.”
Rob really hadn’t counted on Jasper putting him up. And he bristled at him sayingif he wanted toas though the implication was, he didn’t.Good God, Rob wondered,have I become a joke? An old man chasing after a young one, a laDeath in Venice?
Of course, it had been a long and certainly impulse-driven trip. Rob had never been prone to such literal flights of fancy. But there was something about this young man that touched him deeper than mere lust. It was as though Jasper had grasped and held on to not only his heart, but also his soul. Rob felt compelled to explore this attraction further.
But Jasper was right in wondering what was going on—what hisplanwas. After what they’d just been through, Rob knew staying with Jasper would be completely out of the question. Besides, he was aware of Jasper’s moderate circumstances and understood things like guest rooms were luxuries he couldn’t afford. And sleeping next to him? While that might be wonderful to imagine, they were a long way from that point. Especially now.
So he’d made arrangements at the airport before they’d left. “As I mentioned, I’ll stay at a hotel downtown.” He didn’t want to mention the Four Seasons, because it seemed boastful, but that was where he’d be.