Page 64 of The Retaliation You Deliver

Leon: You look beautiful in the moonlight.

My heart jumps into my throat.

Is he here?

Is he watching me?

No, he can’t be. Why would he randomly end up in this park? This is my park.

I lower my cell, staring at the path before me for a few seconds before I risk looking up.

My breath catches when I look at the entrance and find a dark figure in the shadows.

His ominous presence might terrify some people. Hell, being out in the light he should terrify me, especially now I know what he’s capable of but that’s far from the case because even at this distance, the chemistry that I’m becoming used to crackles between us as the tether I always feel between us pulls tighter.

But I can’t. I know I can’t.

Standing, I keep my eyes on him for a beat so he knows I’ve seen him then I lift my cell and tap out a very simple and to the point reply.

Macie: I’m sorry too.

Then I turn and leave the park in the opposite direction. Tears fall from my eyes with every step I take, but I know it’s the right thing to do.

Last night was… intense, incredible, so many things, and it would be so easy to fall into the abyss with Leon and drown with him.

But I haven’t fought my entire life to drown in someone else’s darkness.

It’s late by the time I get back to my dorm, much later than I was intending and thankfully, my tears have long dried up. All I can hope for is that I look stronger than I feel so I don’t invite even more questions and concern from Nathan when I step inside.

“Jesus, Macie. I’ve been so worried about you.”

“I’m sorry, I lost track of time,” I lie, cringing as the words pass my lips.

“I’ve been calling but your cell is off.”

“Yeah, I forgot to charge it last night. I’m gonna…” I point down the hall toward my room.

“You’re okay though, right?”

“Yeah, Nate. I’m good. It’ll take more than Leon Dunn to bring me down.”

He smiles at me, but it doesn’t meet his eyes. He knows I’m lying but for whatever reason he decides not to call me out on it and lets it go. For now at least.

* * *

To my surprise, I never heard another word from Leon that night. Part of me expected him to turn up at my dorm to try to talk to me. It was obvious he wanted to, but there was no sign of him, and the others never said that he tried.

I should feel relieved that he’s decided to leave me alone, but I’m not. Mostly, I’m concerned. The Leon I experienced on Saturday night wasn’t in a good place and I have no idea where he’s gone from there.

I left after he gave me what I’d asked of him and started to open up. In hindsight, maybe leaving wasn’t the best thing. Maybe I should have stayed and pushed harder.

All these questions and what-ifs run around my head on repeat for the next three days.

Letty checks in on me every day but she wisely steers clear of talking about Leon when I make a point of not asking how he is. Yesterday we had lunch together, Peyton too, who was happily telling me about her sister’s recovery from an overdose. It’s good to hear something positive for a change and I pray that her sister continues to fight her demons. They talk about Kane and Luca, but still, skirt around the topic of Leon and what has happened between us.

It’s both a relief and torture at the same time.

Talking about it makes it all feel so real, but at the same time, ignoring it makes me start to believe none of it really happened, that the connection we shared even briefly wasn’t there. He might have been playing me all that time, but you can’t fake that kind of chemistry. I might not have a lot of experience with such things, but of that I’m sure.