Page 11 of The Retaliation You Deliver

I should be shouting for joy that I can find Richard Fletcher and finally show him just how wrong he was to mess with me all those years ago. I’ve got Macie exactly where I’ve always wanted her. Broken and regretting ever walking away that day. So why don’t I feel good about any of it?

I do what I came in here to do before heading back out.

The booth the three of us were sitting in is empty, a few bills sitting on the table and when I glance out of the windows, I find Peyton and Luca standing beside his car deep in conversation; about me I’m sure.

“Let’s go,” I bark as I approach, making them jump apart like naughty school kids.

Yep, definitely talking about me.

“I need some fucking sleep.”

They both stare at me for a beat, my eyes flicking down to the cut in Peyton’s lip from when I hurt her earlier.

I really am just fucking all this right up.

The remainder of the drive back to Maddison is as silent as the journey to the diner.

Every few minutes I sense Luca looking at me in the rearview mirror.

Initially, I just glared back, not allowing him to see beneath the mask I’ve got firmly in place. But as the minutes and miles pass, I begin to give up caring and allowing my mask to slip.

Letting him see how fucked up and broken I am. I’m sure in the coming hours he’s going to finally drag—or beat—the truth out of me.

My time for hiding is over.

My hands tremble with thoughts of how I’ll say the things he thinks he wants to hear. He thinks that by learning the truth that he’ll be able to help me. What he doesn’t know is that I’m long past the point of help. I’ve been drowning in this darkness for too long to believe that one painful confession will fix the broken parts of me.

By the time we pull up outside our house, I’m more than ready to dive head first into my bed. My body aches, I stink to the point I’m surprised neither of them has complained and I’m fucking exhausted. If the events of the night before weren’t enough to wipe me out then this morning surely did.

“Lee, wait,” Luca calls as I all but run toward the house. I stop but I don’t turn around. I’ve already seen enough pity in his eyes this morning to last me a lifetime. “Take your time. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

“I’ll never be ready,” I mutter.

“Well time’s run out, brother. Deal with your shit and get yourself together then we’re talking.”

My heart is like a runaway train in my chest knowing how that conversation is going to go, but I know I’ve got to finally get it over with.

* * *

It’s almost six hours later when I finally pull the door open and step out of the safety of my room.

My hand trembles as I pull it closed behind me. I want to believe that if I’m quiet enough, I might just be able to sneak out of the house unnoticed and put this off just a little while longer, but I know it’s wishful thinking because I hear them downstairs waiting for me.

I think Luca thought we were going to have this heartbreaking conversation one-on-one. In the past, that’s always how I’ve imagined it going. But right now, on the brink of bleeding my darkness out all over him I realize that it needs to be more than just him.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Letty asks, jumping up from the couch and racing toward me. She has no idea what I’m about to confess but she knows it’s huge and as she wraps her arms around me, I can’t help but feel her support. She’s going to be the one to help me get through this as whole as a broken me can be, and Peyton is going to be the one to support Luca.

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispers in my ear. “Whatever it is, you know you’ve got us.”

I nod, unable to speak around the lump in my throat.

Taking my hand, she leads me over to the couch she was sitting on. I sit directly opposite Luca who has Peyton pinned to his side.

We stare at each other as the atmosphere in the room grows heavy.

“Lee, I know you’re—”

“Macie isn’t just some random girl I picked up,” I blurt out, deciding to start with her; it seems like the easiest thing to talk about right now.