Page 25

Sasha

She can feel me. The way I can feel her.

“Sasha’s here?”

Dev asked, his neck craning around to see.

Ostara stared at the mirror. “He is. I felt him moving through the palace. He’s behind this wall. It’s so odd. I felt the moment he entered the plane, like a piece of Meadow fell into place and she had the chance to be whole again. Even if he is your soul’s mate, he might have information that will settle my host’s issues. She still dreams of her traumatic past life. She left something behind.”

“Sasha is not my…,”

Dev began. “We heard you say vampire and thought only about Daniel. Ostara, we came here with two vampires. One is my partner, Daniel Donovan, and the other is our general. Sasha, once known as Oleg Federov. Since I’ve known him, he had one goal in his whole vampiric life. To live long enough he could find her again.”

Ostara’s green eyes turned to Sasha even as he was frantically trying to find the seam in the wall that would allow him entrance. It had to be there. The king would want to enter from time to time and play with his prey.

“She would not take a husband,”

Ostara said to Devinshea even as her eyes seemed to find Sasha. “She would not take a lover. She felt so deeply inside that she was missing something. Someone. She can’t remember, but the knowledge is in her soul. It is how I know. I can read her history, see her past lives. It is always you.”

“There’s a slight breeze here, and I can smell the other room.”

Neil was calm and collected. He ran his hand over the wall and Sasha heard a click.

The door opened slightly and Neil pushed through, rushing to Dev while Sasha followed.

He stood in front of Ostara, the moment so surreal it almost felt impossible. She was beautiful, but then she always was. She was the most beautiful woman in the world to him.

“I selected her because her soul meshed with mine,”

Ostara explained. “I did not know it at the time, but the universe brought us together for a reason. Because I long for the kind of love you have between the two of you, but I have never found it. I love her. Through her I know I can love you, and I can give her what no one else can.”

“Forever,”

Sasha whispered. “You can give us forever.”

Ostara looked to him. “You already have forever. It’s just interrupted over and over. What I can offer is a long time together in these forms. Time to rest and love and learn each other so well you can never truly be separated again. But I understand the jealous nature of the vampire.”

Sasha felt a wave of wonder suffuse him. He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Perhaps if you were another male I would struggle a bit, but I assure you my jealous nature will be tossed aside if I have to choose between it and her safety and happiness. As it happens, I don’t feel anything but the deepest gratitude for the goddess who is willing to bless us with her strength and wisdom. Ostara, I honor you, and I would bet a lot that I will come to love you since I happen to know how this works. You chose her because your soul recognized hers. You are close in values and how you love and live.”

Ostara nodded, a lovely smile coming to her face. “We are. I think she is a part of me I’ve been seeking.”

“Sasha, you have to convince this idiot to let me get him out of here,”

Neil was saying. He stood by Devinshea, frowning at the high priest. “He does not need to stay in chains all night. We can get him, get Z and the kids, and get out of here. Danny’s with Z right now. I’m not sure what rooms they’re in, but we can take the servant halls and I can track them.”

There was only one problem with the scenario. Myrddin had trapped them all since no one was going to leave without Devinshea. “He promised.”

Ostara turned to the werewolf as well. “The priest made a bargain in the old ways. He cannot leave or he risks bringing the Wild Hunt down on his head and that of his family. In the past, the hunt has sometimes taken all the family line. Perhaps Herne will be kinder to a fellow ascended one, but perhaps not. He cannot take the chance. The wizard knew this could happen.”

Devinshea looked to Sasha. “He did, but he didn’t make her promise the same. Get her out of here, Sasha. Take her back to her own plane and live the life you were meant to.”

“I can’t…”

The idea of leaving the royals…of leaving Rhys and Shy and Cassie and Brendan floored him. He raised Rhys.

“Of course you cannot.”

Ostara stood at his side, her color so much better than before. She seemed stronger, a faint glow starting to come from her skin. “You must help your friends, but we should get Meadow out of this dungeon. The king has a reason to be patient with Devinshea and Bris. He will spend his anger on Meadow and me. Though this energy is doing me a world of good, I have been weak for a long time.”

“Get her out of here. I can handle it,” Dev said.

“Or we could get you both out of here,”

Neil argued.

“And then we all get ripped apart by the Wild Hunt.”

Dev shuddered. “Neil, I understand and appreciate you wanting to save me, but there’s more going on here, and we have a better shot at getting home to our timeline if we figure out exactly what Myrddin is planning. Whatever it is, it will affect us and the people we love. He has no care for this timeline. He is only in this version of my home because it gives him some kind of edge.”

Though it knotted his gut, Sasha had to agree. “This has to do with Shahidi. You did not see the way he reacted to her. He was frightened that she was here.”

Dev’s eyes were bright green, his gaze steady. “Myrddin believes he tricked us into coming here, but I know better. The universe placed us here. The goddess wanted us here so we can do what we do best.”

Neil’s lips curled up in a begrudging smile. “Fuck up all the bad guy plans and save the world?”

Dev winked. “Exactly. Sasha, you are our planner. If this were your chess game, what pieces would you move right now?”

It was hard to take his eyes off Ostara, who now stood beside him, hard not to take her hand and pull her against his body, but he was dealing with the goddess and not the woman right now. The goddess who knew him, who understood who he was. Meadow was a different story. Would she remember? Would this magic that Rhys and Shy were making change things for her? Open her mind to their shared history?

He had to focus on the now. They had chaos because of that magic, and chaos was cover, but it would only last so long. “If I am the cold, hard general or the soulless spymaster, I would ask for you and Zoey to sacrifice for the greater good of the mission. We need to figure out what Myrddin wants from the king and how to shut it down. We cannot do that if we are on the run. Queen Zoey is smart and resourceful. She will figure out how to handle this worse version of you. Daniel can listen from the shadows. You…well, sadly there are things to be learned in your position, Your Grace, though it will not be pleasant. Neil and Daniel can work with the serving class to fuck everything up and cause chaos while Rhys and Shy figure out why the mountains call to her. And I can get Ostara to a safe place and return to lend my aid in any way I can.”

“The safest place for me is with the servants,”

Ostara said. “This palace is massive, and there are rooms no one but the house servants know exist. This magic I feel is going to destroy the spells the magician and king put on the serving class no matter the wards, and if they’re smart, they won’t allow them to know. I get the feeling they have waited a long while to be able to rise against their tyrant king. I thought I could help to sway Devinshea away from his brutality, but I was also prepared to fight him once I regained my strength.”

“He was never going to give it to you,” Dev said.

Ostara’s head bent slightly, a show of respect from a goddess. “I know that now. But you would. There once was goodness in the man, and there could be again. Remember that. I will go with Meadow’s mate. I will heal and be ready to aid you in any way possible. If there is no ready way to get back to your timeline, I will consult with the scholars on my plane. They know much of the mystic ways. You came in with some interesting crystals. Dolerite. We have long believed it aids travel in ways that do not involve distance.”

So they might not be stuck. There was so damn much to do and so little time to do it. He held out a hand to her.

She smiled and took it.

He turned to Neil. “If I know Rhys, he’s waited a long time for this. He’ll be at it for a while, and anyone not directly in the palace will feel the effects strongly. You should be able to move fairly freely outside the wards. Consider Bibi’s quarters our home base. I’m taking Ostara there to her personal maid. You make sure Dev is fed. I get the feeling they won’t care about him starving tomorrow. Take him off that damn hook and make him comfortable for the rest of the night. Dev…”

“Don’t die.”

Dev seemed to understand the assignment. “You’ll get me out when the time is right.”

Neil was already helping Dev down, and he would put him back up when the time came.

There was no more reason to wait. He held Ostara’s hand and led her out of the dungeon.

After another long walk through too small hallways, Sasha breathed a deep sigh of relief as they made it to the door leading back to Bibi’s shared quarters.

The troll sat on the couch, holding the hand of Ione, who was still weeping. She looked up as the door opened and was on her feet in an instant.

“My baby,”

she sobbed as she launched herself at Ostara, who smiled and lifted the much smaller troll into her arms.

“Oh, sweet Ione, she missed you as well. When she thought she would die, she wept at the thought of never seeing you again, good mother,”

the goddess whispered.

Sasha took it in. The sight was odd. Ione, small and weathered, and so unlike the gorgeous Meadow. Ostara was merely a light inside her body. The beauty was all Meadow. She’d been raised in these strange, wonderous lands. She was Fae. She was love and light and had an embodiment of spring in her soul.

What if she didn’t want a vampire?

He stayed back as they spoke in hushed tones. Bibi walked over to join him.

“I’m sorry. The magic the Green Man weaves is potent. I was worried I would shame myself,”

she admitted. “I can still feel it here, but it is like a distant song. However, I noticed Hubbie. He is one of the lowest servants. He cleans floors and washrooms. He spoke to me for the first time in years.”

Then the magic was doing what Ostara thought it would. Or rather undoing. She’d told him the wards couldn’t keep out some parts of the magic. “You need to get word to everyone to pretend. Pretend they are still under the spell. Otherwise, the king will likely put a stronger one on them. Tell them to bide their time. The Green Man and his goddess are here now. All will be well. They need only wait for the right opportunity.”

Bibi’s dark eyes shone in the candlelight, and he could see hope there. “I will begin spreading the word. I know who to talk to and who to…well, who to deal with so we don’t have problems.”

“If you can, access weapons. Hide them. Do you have any witches close by?”

Bibi’s head shook. “Not in here. He killed all the ones who worked in the palace, but there are some who would not leave the forests. I can send word.”

“Have them make charms to protect every servant from the king and the wizard. Sew them into your clothes. Hide them in your personal spaces. How many will fight?”

“All but a few, and honestly, after so much time under these spells, I would be surprised if they weren’t willing to simply stay out of it,”

she explained.

There came a time in every authoritarian regime when the populace had enough. He had fought his own and lost because they were not ready. It appeared these Fae were.

“I will go with you.”

Ione wiped her eyes and smiled. “I know I am new here, but I can help spread the word. I would like to offer my room to my darling girl.”

She tilted her head up to look at Sasha. “Ostara tells me you are the one in Meadow’s heart. The one she can’t forget and can’t quite remember. Take care. She needs you.”

Bibi and Ione left, going to do their spy work, and he was alone with the only woman who had ever had his heart.

And the goddess she shared a body with. Alone in a too-cramped room where his head nearly touched the ceiling and he worried he would break the furniture.

Ostara stared at him. He knew it was her by the fully emerald eyes. A bit like Rhys’s since he ascended. Vibrant green, without a hint of white. She faintly glowed, and he realized that glow wasn’t merely hers. It was Meadow’s. He’d mistaken it for the glow of the goddess.

“You’re…she’s a companion,”

he said, his fangs growing long.

“Companion?”

Ostara asked.

“In my home, a companion is part angel. She glows to my kind. As supernatural creatures we are…how do you say…compatible on every level. Companion blood makes a vampire stronger, faster. Vampire blood heals and keeps the companion young and vital.”

Ostara nodded as though she understood. “Ah, a consort. That is what we call such men and women.”

So there were differences. “It’s almost always women where I come from.”

“A strange place then,”

she said and seemed to come to some decision. “She is afraid. It’s why she wants me in charge of our body. She didn’t know how important this moment would be. She doesn’t remember her past lives except through what I have told her I see.”

“Is she afraid of me?”

Ostara’s lips tilted up, an amused expression. “She has not had a man. You are large and intimidating.”

He smiled at the memory. “She said that to me the first time I asked her out. She told me I might be what we call a bad bet if I turned out to be the violent type.”

He sobered. “I am the violent type, Ostara. I tried to use my mind to help my people, but when I could not remember her, I fell into violence. It is my nature.”

“But when you did remember her?”

Ostara prompted.

“I tried to be the best husband, friend, human I could be. It’s why it fell apart. She brought out the best in me, and I had to stand up for what was right. And Tash…oh, our daughter made me want to be everything. To be beyond what any man could be.”

Tears pierced those green eyes. “Natasha is what was left undone. Her baby. She tried to protect her.”

He took her hands in his and looked into those eyes as if he could stare down into her soul and see his wife nestled there. “Natasha is beautiful. She is strong. She survived because of her mother’s love, and now she thrives with the family I found for her. They love her, Marta. She has sisters and brothers and cousins. She lives in America with a family who gives her everything she could possibly need. When I became a vampire and remembered my life, that man who saved you in the dungeon, he and his family and friends helped me find her. I got to see her one last time. I was weak because I had so recently turned, but I had a friend see into her soul and plant a truth there. She knows we loved her. Deep in her soul, we are still with her. Still giving her strength. Put that fear and guilt aside. If you can never love me, I will be satisfied knowing I gave you this comfort. Our daughter lives and loves and is happy, and somewhere in her soul, she remembers us. We live on in her.”

If he could only give her this, he would find a way to be content.

Ostara’s eyes changed, the jewel tones pulling back to still glorious green eyes, but they were normal. Meadow’s eyes. Marta’s eyes. Her name could change. Hell, the eyes themselves could change, but the spirit behind them was always the same. Loving. Strong. Resilient.

“Tasha?”

The name came from her mouth like a prayer.

“Natasha. In our lives she was Natasha Federova. She is now Natasha Taggart. She is happy. She is loved. You did so good, baby.”

Tears fell from his eyes now. He was here. How many times had he wished he could be here, telling her all the things he needed to say? All the things he hadn’t because they had been so abruptly pulled out of their lives. “You did everything right. I was so…I am so sorry to leave you.”

“You didn’t.”

She stepped back, and he felt the distance as she seemed to go deep inside herself. “You were taken. You didn’t mean to go. Goddess, this magic… I can see more clearly.”

“You can still feel it?”

Her eyes flashed, and he knew she was talking to the goddess inside. “He can’t keep this magic from us. This is a gift. This magic is our magic, too. They can keep the lust away but not the energy of spring, not the awakening. There are no wards strong enough to keep it out. It will be the same for your Devinshea. This magic will fuel him for days. For us, it is allowing me to see where I could not. Oleg. Sasha. You have had many names, and I loved them all. You did not mean to leave me. You never mean to leave me. Every life we cling and try to remember, promising ourselves we will not forget.”

Something settled deep inside Sasha’s soul. She knew him. He was not alone. Even if she never wished to touch him, he was not alone. “I will never forget you again.”

She moved in front of him, her head tilting up, eyes shining with tears. “You will never be lost again…Sasha. I like this name. I like this man you have become.”

“Not a man at all,”

he replied. Her light was brighter now, like she’d instinctively dimmed it knowing how attracted he would be to it. “I am a vampire.”

Her lips curled up. “And I am host to a goddess.”

“You are a goddess. You are my goddess,”

he whispered reverently. “I have always worshipped you.”

“Then show me. Show me how you worship me.”

She let her head tilt back, giving him her throat.

It was an offer he would never refuse.