Page 66 of The Pretender

SeeingDeo being carefree and happy with his cousin relieves some of my anxiety over what he witnessed on my phone earlier, but I’m definitely curious about what surprise he could have in store for me.

“Your family is amazing.”

Deo glances over at me, nodding. “They are. I underappreciated what I had.”

“Still have. Not past tense.”

“True.”

We walk along the snow-covered path, our shoes crunching on the hardening snow.

“This must be what growing up really is,” Deo says. “Understanding what’s actually important in life and adjusting your priorities.”

“That’s an excellent perspective. I know I’m guilty of chasing things that never really mattered.”

He scoffs. “You and me both, mister.”

“But live and learn, right?”

Deo nods, nibbling on his bottom lip. “Right. I spent years with so much insecurity about every decision I made. I was so worried about making a bad move. I wasted a ton of time beingin my head about stuff instead of living. It’s weird, because coming back here has given me much-needed clarity. It feels right being home.”

“That’s how you know you made the right decision.”

“Yeah, except…” Deo pauses, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat. “Nothing.”

“Go on. You’re safe with me.”

“I know. It’s not that.”

I step in front of him and block his path, and he chuckles. “Then what is it?”

He pulls his hands out of his pockets and places them flat on my chest. His expression is uneasy, nervous maybe, but he exhales slowly and smiles.

“I wonder what could’ve happened with us if we’d met back in the city. Could we have been something?”

“I don’t think you would’ve liked me there. My life was… different.”

Deo nods, searching my eyes. “I guess it’s best we didn’t then.”

“I think so.” I brush my fingers across his rosy cheeks. “For what it’s worth, I’m having the best time here with you.”

He nods again, but this time his eyes reflect an unexpected coldness. I can almost see the wall go up as he puts space between us. “I’m freezing. Let’s get inside.”

“Sure.”

I follow a few steps behind Deo as he picks up speed to get back to the cottage. I don’t think he liked my answer, but unfortunately, there isn’t a better one. As much as I’m enjoying this artificial life, at some point I’ll have to face reality, and likely sooner than I want to.

Once inside the cottage, Deo strips out of his coat and kicks his boots off in the entry. I follow suit, wondering if our steamy bath idea is canceled now.

“Deo.”

He turns to face me. “Yes?”

“Did I upset you?”

“Not at all. Why?”

“You seem distant now.”