Page 49 of The Pretender

“It’s wonderful to have an accepting family.”

“We figured they had an inkling something was different about Brogan. They never conformed to traditional gender constructs, but I’m guessing everyone thought they’d be a lesbian and not an actual boy.”

“Are they happy now?”

“Mostly, yeah. I think they want to find love, but I guess most people do.”

Balt nods, an introspective expression on his face. “Right.”

I stretch my arms above my head again, then rest my head on Balt’s strong chest. “I have a question.”

“Sure.”

“What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? Or want to do and haven’t yet.”

A sexy smirk spreads across his lips as I tilt my head up to look at him. “Kinky, huh? Let me think.” After a moment, he nods. “I dated a guy who was really into pain. He liked being restrained and spanked, or using clamps and things like that. I was a lot younger and had no experience with that, but I was up for it. Turns out I did not get off on causing someone else pain, no matter how into it he was.”

“Oof. That sounds rough.”

“It was. There was no reason to end things other than I wasn’t turned on by it and was reluctant to do it.”

“Bummer.”

Balt nods. “Your turn.”

“I’ve never done anything kinky.” I sigh, twisting slightly to face him.

“But you want to?”

“I don’t know if it’s a full-on kink, but…”

Balt pokes my stomach. “But?”

If I ever want it to happen, I have to be brave enough to tell someone. “I think it would be so hot to be asleep and have my lover pleasing himself with my body.”

Balt raises a single eyebrow. “Go on.”

“Or, like, waking me up with a blow job or fingering me. Doing whatever he wanted to do to me even when I’m sleeping.”

“Somnophilia,” Balt says. “It’s a full-on kink.”

I feel my cheeks heat. “It has a name?”

“It does.” Balt lifts my hand and traces designs on my palm. “That would be really hot, huh? And you’ve never had someone do that?”

“I’ve never told anyone and no one has tried it.”

“But you told me.”

I nod. “I did. Have you done it?”

He shakes his head. “No. Morning sex a few times, but we were both awake and aware.”

“Yeah, morning sex is different.”

“Tell me your fantasy. What does this look like to you?”

My body heats as the question lingers between us. I’ve never admitted this to anyone, not even Brogan, or my best friend back in college.