A beautiful deer shifter ground her ass against me, but it did absolutely nothing for me. It was stupid of me to be here. I was close enough that all I could think about was her , but still too far away that I could give in to the impulse and show up out of nowhere.

Her .

Logan.

My brother’s mate, or as close to a mate as she could get since she was human.

She was the one woman on this godsforsaken earth I couldn’t have, so of course she was the one woman I was so fucking in love with it was physically painful.

It wasn’t my fault. I’d tried to get over her, but it didn’t matter how many people I tried to be with in every sense of the word. None of it touched that ever-burning torch I carried for her.

I pushed away from the deer shifter and went to get a shot of vodka at the bar. It never helped. It didn’t matter where I was; I could feel her as if she were magnetic north. I was nothing but a hapless compass needle, drawn always in her direction.

Fuck.

I downed the shot, hoping one day I would find the unique balance between drowning out my awareness of the woman I couldn’t have and the point just before I was hurling my guts out.

Tomorrow I would have to go farther. I could never stay away as long as I needed to, because even when I made it to the other side of the country and that awareness dimmed, it was replaced by the incessant need to feel it again.

Another shot. Another glass slammed down on the bar as I savored the burn.

Nausea churned my gut. I stumbled to the bathroom and expelled all the money I had just consumed. I lingered for a moment to splash cool water on my face before venturing out into the music, the sound as I opened the door like walking into a brick wall.

One of my buddies found me as I turned the corner into the main room. “There you are. Someone can’t hold their liquor.”

I rolled my eyes. “Shut up, Tommy.”

Unease prickled up my spine. I spun around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. I’d felt it on a few occasions since the last time I saw Logan. There was never anything to cause it, but I never stuck around for long to investigate further.

I was about to ask if Tommy was ready to leave when a scream rent the air.

We both turned to the sound. One of the club patrons, an owl shifter I vaguely recognized, was held aloft in the air, shouting his head off. The crowd backed away and it was then I realized nothing was holding him up.

I jerked back against the wall.

What the fuck was that?

I watched with rising horror as the light in his eyes faded and snuffed out. He was tossed aside like a ragdoll, and the deer shifter who had tried to dance with me was snatched up next. She screamed and flailed, neither doing anything to dissuade the invisible force that held her.

“Shit,” Tommy mumbled. “We have to get out of here.”

The crowd was already panicking, stampeding to the exits, with more than one person disappearing beneath their feet.

Being a panther shifter meant not much in this world scared me. I was the predator. But…whatever that thing was made me feel like a mouse under a cat's paw.

It felt wrong.

I’d encountered a lot of shit in my life; some things felt out of place, like they didn’t belong, and this thing, this fucking thing, sure as hell didn’t belong.

I felt like a dick leaving the deer shifter, but I couldn’t fight something I couldn’t see, and I wasn’t ready to die. Something brushed against me, feeling like ice sinking straight into my bones, and I surged forward, desperate to escape.

Tommy dragged me outside with the herd and shoved me into his car. “What the sweet fucking hell was that, man?”

“I don’t think we want to know. Do you think the owl’s dead?”

“Looked that way.” Tommy slammed his foot on the gas and ripped through town until we hit the interstate.

I felt Logan’s presence shining like a beacon in the distance as Tommy’s car ate up the miles. “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know where you’re going, but I’m going to the New York nest. At least until I know what the fuck that was.”

I swallowed hard, already regretting the words I was about to say. “Drop me in Syracuse on your way.”

It wasn’t smart to go back, but something was killing shifters and Caden needed to know. He didn’t like me very much but that didn’t mean I was going to put him at risk.

Tommy nodded sharply. “You got it.”

I squirmed in my seat for the entire trip.

“What’s got ants in your pants, bucko?”

“Nothing.” I shrank deeper in the seat and fisted my hands.

None of my friends knew about her. Part of that was selfishly keeping Logan to myself, but I also didn’t want any of them sniffing around.

I knew Caden could protect her from any of my shithole friends if they got it in their heads to try something, but I felt better keeping them in complete ignorance of her existence.

I bit down on the growl that tried to rumble through my chest.

It really wasn’t fair. It had been pure luck of timing that Caden had gotten to her first. I couldn’t help but remember her gentle touch and soothing voice as she had nursed me back from the brink of death, the way she had looked at me with those impossibly dark eyes, making me feel more seen than I had ever been in my life.

Every time I was near her, it took all the willpower I had ever possessed to stop myself from climbing straight into her arms to listen to her heartbeat and feel her fingers stroke my fur.

I shoved my hand through my hair, already grossed out by the drying sweat that clung to each strand. My clothing reeked of the scent of horny shifters and I was more than ready to strip down and shower.

“Where to?” Tommy asked as we entered Syracuse.

“Here is fine.”

He stopped the car and I slipped out, saluting him as he slammed on the gas and zipped off toward New York.

I didn’t need a map app to know where I was going.

Each step in Logan‘s direction felt like I was walking home, a buoyant familiarity infusing my body the closer I got.

I tried my best to avoid humans as I traipsed through residential areas, eventually coming to a stop at the bungalow where Logan lived with my brother.

Or rather, where he lived with her, since it was her house.

I swallowed down the nerves that now battled with the elation of being so close again. I knew she would welcome me, as much as I knew Caden wouldn’t. Not that I blamed him. I didn’t have a fabulous history with respecting the boundaries of his romantic relationships.

Both salvation and misery lay on the other side of that door. I just needed enough courage to knock.

It was easier said than done. I couldn’t quite decide if I would be more welcome in this form or one of my shifted ones.

Logan had always been most comfortable when I was in my smallest form.

A fluffy house cat posed no threat. But I wanted to see her, wanted to feel every inch of her pressed against this one.

It was an exercise in self-punishment. In this form I was intimately aware of every ache, every desire, my complex brain in a human body plagued by memories and fantasies I couldn’t escape.

When I was a cat, things were simpler. There I sought after my most basic needs, but everything else was muted. I couldn’t desire her in the same way, couldn’t experience the intoxicating bliss of being able to bury my face in her hair and sate the longing that never left.

She giggled on the other side of the door, the sound dipping into a moan.

Fuck.

Caden would be extra pissed if I interrupted them having sex.

But that only made me want to do it more.

I wanted her to be with me , not him, and I wasn’t strong enough to just listen right now.

Lights were still on at other houses and someone would absolutely call the cops if they saw me standing out here much longer, especially if I took my cock in hand and stroked it to the sound of her coming undone.

I was still drunk enough to indulge in recklessness and knocked a pattern onto her door, waiting with bated breath.

A tiny cat head popped up under the curtains and hissed at me.

“What does he want?” Logan’s voice was muffled. “Maybe he’s hurt?”

“I can hear you through the door, Logan.” I sighed. “And I can see Caden in the window.”

When the door opened, my soul dropped fucking anchor. There she was. Perfect, bright eyed, flushed cheeks, and a beautiful smile just for me.

“Hey, Seth!”

I crashed against her in an uninvited hug, desperately needing to touch her. Her arms wrapped around me belatedly, fingers curling into my shirt.

Home.

Fucking fate.

The gods had to be laughing. I was absolutely certain that Logan was my mate, but the fact remained that she was Caden’s too. And he had gotten to her first. I had fucked up enough in our past and another misstep would ruin the possibility of my brother ever speaking to me again.

So I’d stepped back.

I had left, trying for years to fight the pull. I always came back. He knew I wanted her, but I was never quite certain if he was aware how deep it went. I couldn’t… wouldn’t hurt him again the way I had done in the past.

I disentangled us and gave Logan a confident smile, though it was the opposite of how I felt.

“Can I come in?”