I ’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be touched by someone who wasn’t Yelena.
Logan had a soft touch and certainly didn’t shy away from getting her hands on me in wolf form.
She’d done it when she rode on my back too, like she couldn’t help herself.
I didn’t let most people get close enough to me.
Gentle fingers brushed my hip and I craned my head to look at Seth. It was the first time he’d touched me since Orlando.
“Magic fingers,” Seth said with a laugh. “She gets me with them all the time.”
Orlando had been more than four years ago at this point, but I still remembered those days clearly.
Seth and I had both arrived at the same time.
I had been drawn to him in a way I couldn’t explain, almost like I had been led to him.
Together we’d survived, comforted one another in our recoveries, plotted lives we might live together once we left.
We had never been forced to fight each other, thank the gods, but it had been close.
We’d heard whispers of the new schedule shortly before we’d stumbled out of that nest without a penny to either of our names.
Seth had tried to convince me to go north with him, to get back on our feet together, and to meet who I now knew were the omega and other panther in this bed.
As much as I’d wanted to go with him, I had felt pulled in another direction.
I followed that compulsion, crossing three thousand miles where I’d collapsed in front of the gates of this nest, and woken to Yelena standing over me in the infirmary.
I never thought that I would see Seth again. The wistfulness in his eyes made me think that he thought the same. It was almost funny to think that fate had brought our paths together after we had gone our separate ways.
Yelena didn’t know much about a lot of my life before her, and I had kept Seth to myself.
Most of my history was better buried. A great many years of it had been spent as a wolf, so much so that I still felt more comfortable in that form.
Not all shifters descended from others who came to this land had the same luxury as I did.
Yelena couldn’t have lived as a lion without people noticing, and certainly the panthers would’ve been spotted sooner or later.
At least if I kept my size manageable, I could blend in with the local wildlife.
I angled myself to press into both Logan and Seth’s touch, a silent encouragement.
Ever so slowly my body relaxed until I came to rest in Logan’s lap, my tail wagging a staccato against the bedding.
She moved her hand from my neck and down my back as far as she could reach, occasionally detouring to trace down my muzzle and over my ears.
Seth merely kept still, his fingers disappearing into the thickness of my pelt.
I hovered on the precipice of sleep, my task abandoned in favor of indulgence, until the suite door opened and Yelena stepped inside.
Don’t get up. Yelena’s voice rang in my head before I could propel myself into motion. “Hello, darlings. You’re all awake?”
“Mhmm,” Logan replied. “How did everything go?”
“Well enough. We had some tea, we discussed some coping strategies after they calmed down, and I sent them to bed. Do you mind if I scooch in? Since you’re all so close already.”
I glanced up at Logan from her lap, and she didn’t look opposed to the idea. Caden was the one most likely to refuse, and I could see on his face that he was prepared to do so, but Logan answered first.
“I don’t mind.”
Caden seemed to bite his tongue after that.
“Thank you, precious.” Yelena disappeared briefly to tuck her hair into a satin bonnet and slip into a barely there nightgown.
Neither of us wore clothing to sleep, but I suspected that even Logan’s accommodation had its limits.
The heavens knew Caden wouldn’t stay silent if Yelena had walked over without a stitch on.
“You should change for bed,” Yelena said. Logan was still dressed for the day, while Caden wore nothing but his fur, and since Seth was still technically under hospital observation he was wearing a gown for easy access.
“Am I allowed to have a shower?” Seth asked. “It feels like a million years since I’ve had one.”
“Of course you’re allowed,” Yelena replied. “You should have assistance, though.”
I can help, I offered. If Seth is okay with that.
Yelena eyed him. “Are you comfortable with Haru helping you?”
Even in the dim light, I could see the flush of Seth’s cheeks. “Sure, that would be okay.”
I reluctantly climbed off Logan’s lap, tapping her cheek with my nose before trotting over to get a robe for Seth and me, shifting into my human form so I could drop it over my shoulders.
Logan helped Seth stand. Caden looked torn, like he couldn’t quite decide if he trusted me or Yelena less.
His choices were to leave Logan with Yelena, or Seth with me, and he looked happy about neither option.
Seth leaned against me as we walked, his legs as shaky as a newborn deer. Gods, it felt good to have him pressed against me again. Yelena’s shower had a wide bench, and after a moment for him to adjust to the fact that he would be stark naked in front of me, he let the robe fall and sat down.
My gaze helplessly followed the pattern of scars that decorated his skin.
A few were new and I found myself tracing them before I realized I had even reached out.
Seth’s hazel eyes were filled with a mix of longing, guilt, and anxiety.
I broke eye contact to get the shower running and left my own robe hung on a peg outside of the shower.
Every sweep of his eyes on me was like a brush of heat.
I had as many scars as he did, but also a lot of tattoos to cover them up.
“Haru…”
I missed you.
“I thought I would never see you again.”
I sank to my knees before him, and took his face in my hands, savoring our first moment alone when he wasn’t on the brink of death. His breath shuddered, his palm cupping my neck to stroke his thumb across the vicious scar at my throat.
“I should have made us run sooner. I’m so sorry.”
I laid a thumb over his lips, silencing any further words of regret. Nothing that had happened to me was his fault.
You were the only reason I survived. Please don’t blame yourself.
Seth nodded, but I wasn’t sure he believed me.
I used the detachable showerhead to soak his hair and then set it aside so I could scrub shampoo through the strands, gratified when his eyes closed and he let out a soft sound as my fingers massaged his scalp.
He was just as sweet and pliable when it was time for the conditioner, and then the soap for his skin.
Seth shivered and let me take full control of the process, his cock rising to attention.
Some things haven’t changed.
Seth let out a laugh. “Did you think they would have if we ever found each other again?”
The years make a difference. You’ve gotten yourself a mate since then.
“That was by accident.” He sounded pained to acknowledge it. “We haven’t had a chance to talk about it. I don’t even know if she knows.”
How do you matebond someone by accident?
“She was trying to save my life. Obviously she succeeded. I think Caden has been ignoring it, like he’s trying to pretend it didn’t happen.”
Do you love her?
“An embarrassing amount,” Seth replied.
So we both found something we needed by losing the other?
“Did we?” Seth swallowed hard. “Lose each other, I mean.”
It was the answer I wanted, but hadn’t dared let myself crave. An allusion to something more.
I’m right here if you still want me.
“The girls…”
I could only shrug. While I doubted that Yelena would mind, she had been my sole focus for the last four years, and Logan was Seth’s mate. Out of basic respect, we would have to run things by both of them first.
A soft knock at the door drew our attention. Logan poked her head in, a hand over her eyes. “Sorry to interrupt. I have some clothing for Seth when you’re done.”
As much as I wanted to ask right now, it wasn’t my place to negotiate between Seth and his mate.
“Lo?” Seth squeaked.
“Yeah? Do you need help? I could…”
“I’m giving you a heads-up.”
“For what?” Logan quirked her head like a confused pup. “ Oh! Oh, gods, yes. Heads-up. I’ll leave you alone.”
She backtracked quickly and closed the door behind her.
I turned to Seth. What was that?
His cheeks were flaming. “Just a conversation the three of us had earlier. She’s been with my brother for years, so obviously I’m not the only person she’s involved with, and she made it clear that both he and I could, um, pursue others, if we wanted to. So, I guess…”
He’d given her that heads-up for me .
Warmth nestled in my chest. I turned to the wall that separated us from the others. Yelena?
Yes, my dear?
Would you be upset if I wanted Seth?
A soft laugh filled my head. Have your fun and we’ll discuss the specifics later. Be gentle with him while he’s healing. I love you.
I love you, too.
Seth’s mouth was exactly as I remembered it.
The almost feral energy of him was tempered by time and exhaustion, but the sweetness was as strong as ever, and the small sound he made as I swept my hands through his hair to cup his head was like a memory come to life.
How much of me do you want?
Seth broke away with a laugh, letting his forehead rest against mine. “I’m not strong enough for you to fuck me in the shower.”
I grinned, taking a generous nip of his bottom lip. Maybe not, but I remember a few other things you like.
I traced my hands over his slick skin, one arm holding him close, while the other crept around to encircle his cock. Seth cursed under his breath and dove back to my mouth.
A few more days of rest, and he would be back to his old fire. His purr radiated through his chest, so impressively loud that I could hear it over the shower.
Seth liked a firm grip, one that hovered only a bit heavier on the side of pleasure from pain. My thumb teased the piercings at the tip of his cock, and I devoured his moan, eager to give him something positive after all he had been through.
“Fuck, Haru—” Seth gasped, making a valiant attempt to buck into my fist, but he was too weak for that just yet. I could tell that even what little he managed to wriggle was tiring him out.
I dipped down to his throat, tongue licking over the fresh bite Logan had put there. She didn’t have fangs that I could see, but maybe her magic had created them just for this purpose.
I had imagined putting a bite like that on Seth more times than I cared to admit. Yelena had never put one on me, but she knew I wanted one. Four years was a blink in the lifetime of most shifters. I didn’t blame her for wanting to take things slow in that regard.
Seth’s whimpers were a symphony in my ear. His pleasure was music, pure and simple. His grip on me trembled, the sounds growing more desperate with every stroke.
“Haru, fuck, please, I can’t?—”
I sank lower, taking him into my mouth moments before he exploded on my tongue. Seth clapped a hand over his mouth, his other gripping my hair like a lifeline.
I eased off him slowly, sliding up to breathe deeply at his throat before he turned his mouth to mine. His fingertips tucked the long strands of my hair behind my ears, his kiss gentle as he shook, trembling in my grip.
He was perfect. My panther was safe. And he was mine again, just like fate wanted.
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