H elplessness was a feeling I’d never gotten used to. Logan always trusted I’d protect her. I didn’t know how I was going to do that this time. All I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and pretend everything was fine.
“You should sleep,” I said.
“I’m not tired,” Logan said, even as she yawned.
I bundled her onto the couch and sat down, getting her to stretch out with her head on my lap. I draped one of the blankets over her and she snuggled in. She deserved so much more than I could give her. Seth sat on the floor, staring up at her, until she patted the couch for him to hop up.
I rolled my eyes. Even knowing it was a shifter, she couldn’t help but treat my brother like she’d treat any regular cat out there.
I supposed I should be grateful she loved so widely and so easily.
It had saved my life after all, but my brother knew how to get under my skin.
He also had to know that Logan’s guard was down when he was in his small form.
She wouldn’t be patting the couch for him to join her if he were a panther or a human.
I sighed and tried not to pay too much attention to the way he weaseled himself into her arms and purred like there was no place else he’d rather be.
It wasn’t fair.
It was his own damn fault I couldn’t love him the way I used to. He’d ruined everything. Now he’d waltzed right back into my life and ruined it all again .
Fucking perfect.
I wanted to hate him. How do you hate someone you raised?
He’d done really fucking stupid things in the past. I’d never hated him, though.
I had been beyond angry, wildly disappointed, hurt to the point I thought I might break and never recover, but I didn’t hate him.
Logan had healed a lot of my gaping wounds, both physical and metaphorical, but some would never heal.
I was faced with the very real possibility I’d always think of Rachel when I looked at Seth.
My first mate had been soft and quiet, with hair like fire and eyes so dark a blue they felt like they were swallowing me up. I could still remember the euphoria of sinking my fangs into her to claim her as mine.
She and I hadn’t been right for each other.
I knew that. Now, anyway.
But it didn’t make the sting hurt any less or assuage the grief that had followed. She’d left me so easily. And then she was gone, torn out of this world, and all that remained was the unbridgeable, cavernous maw that stretched between Seth and me.
All these years, I’d wondered how he truly felt about the matter.
He always rolled back in like he hadn’t curb-stomped my soul.
Logan didn’t know what had happened. I’d never wanted to go into the details.
She knew we weren’t close and that Seth had fucked up hard, but that was where her knowledge ended.
I didn’t want her to look at him and see what I did.
Logan’s breathing was soft and even, her warmth on my thigh a steady anchor. I’d tried every day since I revealed myself to her to make it up to her, to show her how much I loved her and appreciated her patience. Her kindness. I sucked in a sharp breath, the burn of tears rising up.
If she got hurt because of me, I’d never forgive myself. I wouldn’t survive it happening a second time. Part of me wanted to grab Seth by his scruff and chuck him out to whatever was waiting for us, but I could never go through with it.
We both knew it.
I traced Logan’s cheek. Her skin was soft and I took as much pleasure in touching it as she did from stroking my fur. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to find someone who loved all of me.
She shifted on my lap, her fingers curling against my thigh. I closed my eyes and pushed down the swell of desire. We all needed rest. I couldn’t wake Seth just to take Logan to the bedroom.
My phone was somewhere out of reach, so I was left with my thoughts.
I ran through my memory, trying to think of anyone who could help.
Old shifters and others of the supernatural variety were vaguely known by most members of the community, but I had no way of knowing how receptive they’d be to us.
My own family, what little of it was left, was scattered across the globe.
I poked at Seth until he lifted a sleepy head.
Go grab my phone.
Seth yawned and slid like water out of Logan’s arms. Where is it?
I shrugged and he did a circuit around the cabin before finding it under the table. He pushed it toward me with his paws and handed it up, the device dwarfing his head as he passed it over.
Thanks .
Entirely ignoring my glare as he hopped onto the couch, he slid right into Logan’s embrace. She murmured something unintelligible, nestling harder into my thigh and squeezing him closer.
Watching them together was weird. Seth had always had trouble sleeping when he was young and would only be able to fall asleep if I held him.
Now he was passed out with Logan, without a care in the world.
Part of me craved knowing what had changed, but that would require a conversation about the past and I wasn’t quite ready for that.
The funny thing about problems was that ignoring them wasn’t the same as dealing with them, and I’d been running from that conversation for almost sixty years.
With the high likelihood of death, I couldn’t avoid it much longer.
I signed on to one of the many private shifter forums and searched for anything that might help. No one had reported anything about an unseen attacker since Rochester and Fairport.
Well, that was useless.
I put up a post with what details I had in the hope that someone might know something.
Since I had no idea what the fuck to try looking up, I settled on reading one of the thousand romance novels I had on my phone. I was eyeballs deep in Maisie and Corbin’s growing love when Logan shifted next to me and released a soft whine.
Table of Contents
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- Page 17 (Reading here)
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