Page 40 of The Nightblood Prince

“My father no longer serves the crown,” I replied. “You have no right to take him from his home, his family, without his consent.”

“As long as he lives within Rong’s borders, he must serve me as I wish,” Siwang replied, his voice deep and words heavy like a warning.

Iwas treading dangerous waters. “Your father might not be of the court anymore, but he’s still one of my best teachers: someone whose morals I respect, whose knowledge I revere, whose opinion I trust. And, with his year spent far from the politics of Yong’An, he has no allegiances in court anymore.

No one can use him to sway my choices. Things have changed since you left.

I have as many enemies as I have supportersnow. ”

“You always have as many enemies as you have supporters,” I murmured.

“Things have gotten worse since Lan waged this war that is draining all our resources. There are cowards in court who want Father to surrender.”

I didn’t want to say it, but I wondered if those men had a point.

“Siwang, I’ve heard that as enlistment grows, the numbers of men who farm our lands and keep food in our bowls are dwindling.

If we don’t have enough men to plant crops when spring comes, it can affect this year’s harvest, and the rice prices will rise again,” I said, which made Siwang raise his brows.

“You are not the only one who paid attention in class. I care about Rong the same as you. Hungry peasants will lead to angry rebellions if things don’t improve.

And I have met many hungry peasants in the past year. ”

“Are you telling me we should surrender?”

“I think you should stop forcing men to enlist, or—”

“ No. We need the soldiers.”

“ Let me finish. As I was saying: stop forcing men to enlist, or command the women to work in their place and take over their roles. Some villages are already doing this, but there is still prejudice in many rural villages. Their elders forbid the women from doing men’s work.”

Siwang pursed his lips. “I can pass this to Father.”

“You’d better do it quick. Spring is coming, and those crops need to be planted.” I sighed. “So tell me, how are things on the front lines?”

“That’s classified information.”

“If you didn’t trust me, you wouldn’t let me listen in on your meeting.

You said you want my father because you want his advice, however I don’t think that’s true.

I think you want someone who isn’t embroiled in court politics to talk to.

Someone you know will not betray you for one of your half brothers and their families. ”

Siwang smiled. “What if you are right? Will you let me send men to escort your father here to sit at my side and listen to my problems?”

“You will not bring my father here or anywhere that is dangerous,” I snapped, remembering my most recent nightmare of his limp body, and the blood that soaked a military map that was too similar to the one in this tent.

“Talk to me instead. You know me as well as the back of your hand. I don’t care for court politics, and I will not betray you. ”

“You haven’t changed one bit, Lifeng Fei.”

Li Fei, I wanted to correct him. Lifeng Fei died the day I ended our betrothal.

“Lan Yexue wants Rong to become his tribute state.” Siwang exhaled, rubbing his temples.

His body visibly deflated. That rigid posture crumbled before my eyes, and immediately, Siwang went from looking princely to looking exhausted.

It was so easy to forget how young he still was.

A nineteen-year-old trying his best to be the man his father, his court, his empire wanted him to be.

The weight on his shoulders was immense; could he really bear it all?

“What does your father want?”

“He wants me to make the decision, as it is my empire to inherit.”

“Then what do you want?”

Siwang looked away. “This war has gone on for too long, Fei. I can no longer see the forest for the trees. Every defeat, big or small, feels like the end of the rope….” He met my eyes. “I’m scared, Fei.”

My heart ached, hearing this. I had never known Siwang to admit defeat. Even when the entire court was against him because they didn’t think he was worthy, he had never shared his sadness with me. “How long have you been bottling this up?”

“Too long.”

“I guess since my father isn’t here to listen to your problems, I’ll have to do it in his place?”

Siwang’s silken laugh melted my bones like wax.

He picked up the inky calligraphy brush at his desk and jutted it at me like a weapon.

“Don’t make it sound like such a chore,” he teased.

“Do you want me to tell everyone at camp how you’re actually a girl who broke at least half a dozen military laws by coming here? ”

I sneered at the calligraphy brush, then shook my head.

“Good.” Siwang winked, a smile threatening to dance across his golden face. “Defy me again and watch me draw some ugly turtles on your face like we did as kids.”

“You know, I never understood what was so dishonorable about having a turtle on my face.”

“Does this mean you want me to draw one, so you can find out?” He rose from the desk, chuckling.

Immediately, I ducked out of his way, skittering away from him until I had the fire pit between us for safe distance.

“Come here,” he taunted, our laughter filling the space. I hoped the fabric of the tent was thick, because what would his guards think if they could hear us giggling like children? “If you couldn’t outrun me as kids, you cannot outrun me now!”

He lunged for me, his longer legs giving him an unfair advantage. I didn’t bother to move this time.

I yelped when he pulled me into his arms and smeared a giant line of ink across my nose.

When our laughter died down, I realized just how close we were.

My body pressed against his, my heart like a blooming peony straining against my chest, velvet petals fluttering in my throat between shallow breaths.

His lips were too close to mine. His hand too hot on my back, sending my body tingling like something slumbering finally coming back to life.

Though I’d tried everything to pretend otherwise, I had missed this, missed him. How easy and carefree things were when it was just the two of us, far from watchful eyes and courtly rules.

“Fei, I—”

My stomach rumbled. A fire lit up across my cheeks, and Siwang smiled.

He let me go. “I suspect you haven’t eaten lunch yet?”

I ignored the ache in my chest when he walked to the entrance of the tent and said something to the guards outside.

A minute or two later, two servants entered bearing two ceramic bowls. Lamb and potato stew, I knew without having to look. They also brought a side dish of fermented vegetables and two bowls of rice. Not watery congee, but real rice.

My mouth watered. I hadn’t had anything this good since I left home.

“You didn’t think I’d let you go hungry, did you?

Sit, we will catch up over food.” He guided me toward the silk cushions around a low table, then proceeded to pour jasmine tea into small teacups.

“I try to be frugal with my meals and eat the same as my men. But I want to treat you to something nice for our reunion. I assume lamb stew is still your favorite?”

Warm broth poured down my throat, fragrant and delicious. Ginger, star anise, garlic, salt, and the tender chunks of lamb that were falling off the bone, cooked to perfection. I closed my eyes and relished the taste.

“You used to bring this stew to me whenever I was sick,” I said.

“Yes. Stew for when you are sick, and tang hulus for when you’re upset or angry with me.”

“My forgiveness is a master that can be bought only with candied hawthorn berries. Nothing else.” I repeated the words I used to tease himwith.

Memories of childhoods long past fell like dusted sugar around us. Deliciously sweet. Just like his eyes as he watched me, so intently and with so much unspoken longing. “I’ve missed you, Fei.”

I lowered my gaze as a warm flush crept up my cheeks. Such simple words, yet capable of making my flesh burn and my bones sing: a haunting symphony of memories and nostalgia, mixed with something else.

In the palace, I had heard stories of how the concubines would paint their bodies with shimmer and wear immodest dresses, then wander the gardens frequented by the emperor even on the coldest of nights in hope of being seen by him.

And that their soft flesh and wanton eyes could coax his hands into touching them.

It seemed that all anyone wanted in the inner palace was for the emperor to touch them, to kiss them, to part their legs and bear his weight and let him give them the pleasures that apparently only he could give them.

As a child, I was always curious about what happened at night between two people, wondered what sort of pleasure could be so consuming.

How could the touch of a single man devour those beautiful concubines to a point where they devoted their days to scheme ways to seduce the emperor and make him touch them?

As Siwang’s betrothed, the only person who could touch me was him. And if he ever touched me, then it would mean I would be forever trapped in that palace.

But this wasn’t the palace, and I was no longer his betrothed.

Since leaving the palace, I had heard more rumors of the pleasures that conspired at night.

Some of the cheapest lodgings in a village were often rented out by brothels, where I may or may not have heard some things that made my toes curl.

I’ve missed you, too. Four words at the tip of my tongue, yet I couldn’t bring myself to say them.

Instead, I asked, “How bad is it?” The question snipped the humming melodies in my bones, and from the way Siwang’s face fell, it did the same to his. “I’ve heard the stories of Lan Yexue’s army.”

“Everybody on the continent has heard the stories by now.”

“Should I be scared that your father sent you, his favorite son, to train recruits? This might not be the front lines, but it is close.”

If the First Army, kept for war, and the Second Army, kept for border protection, lost their strongholds, we—the Third Army—would be the reinforcements and the last hope. As the chief general of the Third Army, it was Siwang’s duty to lead us into battlegrounds if the moment ever called for it.

A bunch of ragtag farmers and boys too young to be sent to war, facing enemies as vicious as Lan? The thought was profoundly unsettling.

“This isn’t a fun little exercise for you to exert your military skills, is it?”

I waited for Siwang to smile and tell me I was being ridiculous.

He didn’t. “Nothing I say can leave the room.”

It’s a little late for that. “Do you trust me?” I asked.

“With my life.”

Something in me fluttered. Just a little.