Page 38 of The Mistress (Foxgloves #1)

GIDEON

G ideon stared at the doorway Amelia had just run through, listening to the soon-to-be Countess of Coventry dress down Thomas, uncaring of their audience.

God, how he’d hurt her. He’d absolutely crushed that sweet, open, innocent woman he’d spent weeks with. So much so that just the sight of him had thrown her into full-fledged panic. He’d acted on instinct, rushing to her.

Enough was enough. He couldn’t do this to her anymore. He was a coward. He’d been a coward for most of his time knowing her. First, unknowingly; then, stubbornly. Because that’s what it was. Stubborn pride to believe a happy marriage couldn’t exist. Any marriage with Amelia in it couldn’t be unhappy. And his refusal to marry her, he had finally acknowledged, was his stubborn determination to prove that marriage and love did not coexist in a single relationship. But Genevieve was right. He could let them wither under that forced disbelief, or he could choose something different.

He was ashamed to add to his list of cowardice that he spent the first few days after her midnight visit completely drunk. But then he’d thought of Genevieve’s words again, and he finally decided he was done. He was done being a coward. Done hurting her. Done pretending he wasn’t uncontrollably and overwhelmingly in love with Amelia Becham.

She knew him. She knew every part of him, even the ones he wished she didn’t know. She knew the controlled duke. The broken boy. And these past weeks, she saw his father’s cruel son. He wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t good enough for her. But she saw all of him, accepted each part, and loved him for all that he was.

Gideon was going to be the man she deserved. If he had to work every damned day for the rest of his life to be that man, he would. He was making a different choice. He was choosing to love her unconditionally and unendingly, and he would never let her doubt her worth to him or anyone else ever again. She was the world. His whole world. And he would never let her forget it.

So, he was here. Keeping his promise to Thomas to stay at Coventry House for the wedding and to make things right with Amelia. Judging by the past ten minutes since he arrived, however, it would be significantly harder than he’d anticipated. That was understandable and acceptable. He would do everything and anything she needed for as long as it would take. She was all that mattered.

Lydia finally addressed him, pulling him out of his reverie. “Should I go to her, Your Grace?” her tone was polite, but he could hear the distrust, disapproval, and curiosity layered heavily within it. She had eyed him with similar feelings when he’d initially been shown to the library where she and Thomas were reading and working.

Her question, however, took him by surprise. Even though she didn’t trust him and was clearly upset with him – and it wasn’t difficult to figure out why – she was deferring to him on how to proceed with Amelia. Hopefully, that meant her disapproval didn’t run so deep that she would oppose their match or try to talk Amelia out of trusting him again.

“No,” he pulled his eyes to the scowling bride. “She’ll seek us out when she’s ready.” He was confident in his answer. The comfort of others, even her sister, would be unwelcome to Amelia right now. The way she panicked, the way she ran out, not making eye contact with anyone – her needs had been clear. She needed to be alone. She would come out when she no longer needed that.

And she did. Not an hour later, she reentered the drawing room. Thomas sat on the couch, Gideon next to him in the armchair watching the door, as they drank their tea, neither one of them attempting conversation. Gideon’s mind had been upstairs with Amelia, and Thomas was focused on his bride, who was pointedly ignoring him as she played at the piano.

Gideon was the first out of his seat when Amelia walked in, shooting up as if he’d been sitting on an open flame. Thomas was slower to stand, and Lydia quietly called her sister’s name before going to her and grasping her hands.

“Darling, are you alright?” Lydia’s voice was concerned.

Amelia was careful not to look in Gideon’s direction, but he could see the puffiness of her eyes and the redness surrounding them. He hated that he’d made her cry yet again. “Yes, I’m fine,” she said unconvincingly. “I apologize for my outburst. You are most welcome, Your Grace.” She angled her head towards him when she said the last part, but still kept her eyes averted.

“Amelia, I’m sorry,” Thomas started.

“It’s fine, Thomas,” the snap of her voice was in direct contrast to its civil politeness immediately before.

“It’s not,” he insisted, and Amelia looked at him.

She read something in his face before sighing and saying, “You are not wrong for wanting someone important to you to stand with you at your wedding.”

“I should have told you, though.”

“Yes,” both Lydia and Amelia replied.

“Yes, you should have,” Amelia continued. “But it’s done now, and everything is fine.”

Thomas’s face twisted, the regret clear on his features. He strode to Amelia and wrapped her in his arms. A beat passed before she hugged him back.

“I am truly sorry, sister,” Gideon heard him murmur, and his chest clenched, again berating himself for the past and how enormously he’d mistaken their very obvious relationship.

“It’s okay, Thomas,” came Amelia’s soft reply in that husky voice he loved.

Gideon cleared his throat. “Would you care for some tea, Miss Becham?” he asked.

“No, thank you, Your Grace,” she answered, her voice solid. She stepped out of Thomas’s embrace, but still stood facing him and Lydia. “I would like some air. Lydia, would you care to join me in the garden?”

“Of course,” Lydia replied without hesitation, stepping forward and linking arms with her sister.

“May we all join you?” Thomas asked.

“Yes,” Amy replied before steering Lydia towards the outside door.

“Well, I’m good and in the doghouse, I’d say,” Thomas muttered to Gideon as they followed the ladies.

“I’d say so,” Gideon agreed, stepping outside. “Why didn’t you tell them I was coming to stay?”

“I knew they’d both be displeased.”

“I guess we’re both cowards, then,” Gideon commented.

Thomas looked at him with interest as they moved through the greenery of the Coventry House garden. “Oh?” he said. “And how are you a coward, Birmingham?”

Gideon gave his friend a wry look. “You know how,” he answered.

“I see,” was all Thomas said, but Gideon could see the earl’s mind working.

They were quiet for a moment as they trailed the women, and then Thomas spoke again. “Would you like to walk with Amelia?” he asked directly.

Gideon gave his friend an assessing look, surprised he would trust him with Amelia again. He answered plainly, “Yes.”

“Wait here,” Thomas instructed and then hurried forward to talk to the ladies. Gideon saw Amelia’s back stiffen and both Thomas and Lydia look to her. After an agonizing moment, she nodded, and Thomas turned back to him, nodding, as well – but Gideon was already striding forward.