Page 147 of The Missing Sister

‘Maggie was a truly remarkable woman,’ said Ambrose, and I saw that his face looked grey. ‘Seeing your family grieve, and knowing there was so little I could do to help you all...’

‘But you did help me, Ambrose, and I’m only starting to learn how much. So it was you that gave Miss Lucey theEncyclopaedia Britannicas? I always wondered.’

‘Yes, and it was a pleasure, Mary. You were such a strong, cheerful little girl, and you grew by leaps and bounds once you were at boarding school in Dublin, with the right teachers and resources to help fuel the fire of your curiosity. Although I have often wondered if it would have been better for you to stay with your family, with the love of your brothers and sisters around you.’

‘Ambrose, I have no regrets about going to school in Dublin,’ I reassured him. ‘I know I was only eleven, but I did have a choice even then and I know I made the right one. Had I stayed in West Cork, I never would have gone to university. I would most likely have married a farmer and had as many children as my mammy,’ I joked weakly.

‘I’d love to meet your –myfamily,’ said Jack. ‘It’s so weird to think that a few hours from here are people who share our blood.’

Ambrose stood up and began clearing our glasses.

‘Don’t worry about all that, Ambrose,’ I said. ‘I’ll wash everything up before we leave.’

‘Mary, I’m not that decrepit yet,’ he said, but I could see that his hand was shaking as he picked up my empty water glass. I stood and gently took it out of his grasp.

‘What’s the matter, Ambrose?’

He gave me a sad smile. ‘You know me well, Mary. I... there are... aspects of your past that I know I should have discussed with you when I gave you that emerald ring all those years ago. Back then, there was always tomorrow, but you disappeared for thirty-seven years. And now, here we are, and I am still to explain to you all that occurred.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Oh dear, as you can see, I do indeed feel very weary. Why don’t you and Jack return tomorrow, when all our minds are refreshed?’ he suggested. ‘As long as you can promise me you’ll be back?’

‘Of course,’ I said, and drew him into a hug, feeling the guilt of having left this man, who had been nothing less than a father to me, weighing heavily on my shoulders.

Once Jack and I had washed up the glasses and cups from the sitting room and made sure that Ambrose was settled back in his chair, we stepped out of the house and into the warm evening air. Merrion Square was quiet and the streetlights had only just come on, the long summer evening light still casting a gentle glow.

Jack and I had a quick meal of fish and chips in the hotel restaurant, my mind so full of memories of my family that I barely heard Jack speaking.

‘Mum, you know what?’ he said, breaking into my thoughts. ‘You’re right: I think Mary-Kate should be here in Dublin with us. I reckon we’re going to be in Ireland for a while, and you should ask her if she wants to fly over. Whatever this puzzle of the missing sister is, I’d feel a lot better if we were all here together.’

‘Yes,’ I agreed, ‘you’re absolutely right. She should be here, just in case...’

‘In case of what, Mum? Won’t you tell me what it is that has so frightened you? You stopped your story just when you went to boarding school, so what happened after that? Was it something to do with that weird Bobby character who called you the missing sister?’

‘I... you wanted to know about my childhood, Jack, and how Ambrose fitted into it. I’ve told you now. So, no, Jack, I can’t tell you any more. Not until I’ve found out some facts for myself.’

‘But if Ambrose hasn’t seen or heard from you since you left, there must be a reason for it?’

‘Please, Jack, that’s enough questions, I’m very weary too and I just need some sleep. As my darling mammy used to say, things will be better in the morning.’

We finished dinner in silence, then walked towards the lift together. ‘What floor is your room?’ I asked as we stepped inside it.

‘It’s just down the corridor from yours, so any problem, just give me a buzz.’

‘I’m sure there won’t be,’ I said, ‘but will you give Mary-Kate a call and ask her if she’d be able to fly over as soon as she can? Here.’ I dug in my bag, fished out my purse and handed Jack my credit card. ‘Pay for the flight on that, and whatever you do, don’t panic her.’

‘As if.’ Jack rolled his eyes. ‘I’ll just tell her that our mum’s going on a journey of self-discovery and she should be here to see it. Night, Mum.’ Jack kissed me on the forehead then turned along the corridor in the direction of his room.

‘Sleep tight!’ I called.

‘And don’t let the bed bugs bite,’ he chanted, as he had since he was a small one.

I went into my room, undressed, did my ablutions and climbed into the marvellously comfy bed. I made a note to change the thirty-five-year-old mattress the moment I returned home to New Zealand – I still had the one Jock had bought just after we were married. I lay there and closed my eyes to try to sleep, but there was so much buzzing around my brain, it felt like a hive of bees had colonised it. I realised that there were names that had been mentioned in Nuala’s diary that I was now remembering from my own childhood.

There’s no point in trying to work it all out tonight, I told myself, but still, sleep did not come.

I used the relaxation techniques I’d gleaned over the years, even though they left me more tense because none of them ever worked. In the end, I got up to find my bottle of duty-free whiskey, and drugged myself into an uneasy slumber.