Page 22 of The Missing Book (Bluestocking Book Club #3)

As he walked away, there was a lightness in his step and indeed, in his very being which he had not felt for some time.

It was as though the air itself had become sweeter, as though his whole body was suddenly alive with a renewed energy.

A smile draped itself upon his features and he held it there, his head up, his stride long and a happiness covering him completely.

All because he had taken a risk, spoken to Lady Amelia in a way that was honest and open, and had gleaned a new connection with her, one that was, he hoped, would slowly begin to grow into something a good deal better than what he’d shared with her before!

I should talk to Anna also, he considered, making his way back towards the carriage now.

She should know of my different considerations now and…

He winced. I must apologize to her too. As difficult as it might be, I need to apologize for my harsh ways and strict demands.

He exhaled slowly. Mayhap then, I might have a restored connection with her too.

“Anna?”

Walking into the drawing room, Leopold came to a sudden stop, his eyes fixed on his sister. She was curled up on the side of the couch, a handkerchief in her hand and her eyes red-rimmed.

“Anna! Whatever is the matter?” Rushing to her side, he bent to look into her face. “Are you unwell?”

Much to his relief, she shook her head.

“What can I do? What can I bring for you?”

Tears began to glisten in her eyes again. “Thank you, Broughton, but I am quite all right.”

“You are clearly not at all so,” he said, reaching out to press her hand. “Anna, I know we have not the best relationship but I am concerned for you, truly. You can tell me whatever it is that troubles you so, for I do very much want to help you.”

This brought about a fresh wave of tears from his sister, who sobbed into her handkerchief while Leopold watched her, helplessly.

Pressing her hand, he rose quickly and went to ring the bell, thinking that mayhap some tea might restore her spirits.

Bringing back a small footstool, he sat on it and then took her hand again.

“Anna, please do tell me.”

She sniffed, her tears abating. Sidelong she glanced at him, then frowned. “You are sitting on a footstool.”

A little confused by her remark, Leopold nodded. “I am.”

“That is not proper for a gentleman to do so. It is for your feet, is it not?”

Leopold’s heart sank. “Anna, I care not for whether it is right or not. All I care about at this present moment is you and why you are so very upset.” Seeing doubt ripple into her expression in the way she frowned and bit the edge of her lip, he pressed her hand again.

“I have been doing a lot of thinking this last sennight. I spoke with Lady Amelia this afternoon to apologize for my inconsideration when it came to bluestockings – which was very much because of your questioning of my thoughts – and I wanted now to apologize to you also. But that can wait given that you are so upset.”

His sister blinked quickly, pushing the remaining tears out of her eyes. “You wanted to apologize?”

He nodded, a little ashamed of just how surprised she seemed.

“I have been thinking about what you said, Anna. You spoke so calmly and yet so very clearly, making it quite obvious to me that I had made more than a few mistakes in my thinking. I had no reason to push bluestockings away from you aside from the fact that society did not approve of them – but that in itself, as you said, was not a reason. I have also seen how much time you spend with Melford, how you speak with him more willingly than you would speak with me, and that, in truth, was deeply upsetting. I want to have a close relationship with you, Anna, but I think now that my fastidiousness and my sternness of manner about all these things, some of them so very small and foolish, have pushed you far from me. I do not want that. I want to be the brother you can depend on, that you can rely on and speak to about anything that concerns you. I know at this juncture, I am not but I do want to change that, Anna. I am sorry for the times I have been too harsh with you, for the times I have demanded tiny changes and made you feel as though you were less than proper.” He dropped his gaze, seeing tears well up in her eyes again.

“The more I consider it, the more I begin to realize that I have been too taken up with all that society demands of me – of us – without truly considering what my own views and opinions might be.” Squeezing her hand, he released it.

“There is a good deal more for me to think on. This is only the beginning but I do recognize that I need to apologize to you for my complete lack of consideration towards you. Whenever you brought something to me, I dismissed it and I see now that it must have been very hurtful for me to do so for so long.”

Anna’s eyes were so wide with astonishment, Leopold had to hide a smile, albeit a rueful one. It was clear that she had not thought for a single moment that he would say something like this.

“That – that is all that I wanted to say,” he said, eventually. “Please, tell me what is troubling you so, Anna. If it is because of me, then be truthful so that I can consider what I have done.”

“It is not you.” Anna sniffed again but the tears did not fall, much to Leopold’s relief. “Though I am grateful to you for your consideration and your apology. That means a great deal to me, Broughton.”

A little relieved, he smiled. “Of course.”

“It is Melford.” Anna’s jaw tightened, a flash in her eyes. “He did not tell me that he was going to call on Gwendoline and I am upset that he went without including me.”

A small frown danced across Leopold’s face. “I am sure he did not mean to do so. It may have been a little inconsiderate but that does not mean he wanted to hurt you.”

“Oh, but it is not the first time,” Anna told him, making Leopold frown. “Evidently, he has been calling on her fairly regularly and all without my knowledge! And she did not tell me either, which makes me all the more upset. I thought we were good friends and now – ”

“And now she has kept this from you without explanation,” Leopold interrupted, albeit gently. “That must be very painful indeed. Is he… is he interested in her company?”

Anna shrugged. “I do not know and truth be told, nor do I care. This has hurt me greatly and I must try and find a way to overcome it.”

“What did Lady Gwendoline say when you asked her about it?”

His sister shook her head. “I have not asked her, not as yet. I only discovered this connection this afternoon, when Melford was on his way to the carriage and I asked him where he was going! He did not tell me willingly, not at first. Instead, I demanded it from him when I saw there was something he refused to tell me. I am so very upset, Broughton! I thought Lady Gwendoline was my friend.”

“She is your friend,” Leopold said, as reassuringly as he could. “She may have felt shy or unsure about it all. Mayhap there is only a friendship between them and nothing more. I think you are becoming upset for no good reason, Anna.”

Her eyes snapped back to his. “Then why did our brother continue to go and see her if there was only friendship there?”

“Why did he not mention his interest in her to us if there was something more?” Leopold challenged, as carefully and as gently as he could.

Anna rolled her eyes. “Do you not recall? Melford told me that you made your feelings on Lady Gwendoline very clear to him and you have mentioned, on more than one occasion to me, that her family is not as high in their standing as ours. Your evident dislike of her is not likely to have Melford telling you of any sort of interest, is it?”

Shame began to burn its way up Leopold’s spine once more. “No,” he admitted, softly. “No, I suppose it does not. I had not considered such a thing but that is not important at the present moment. What is important is the pain you feel and how I can help you with it.”

For the first time since the beginning of the conversation, Anna smiled at him and it was with such warmth, that Leopold’s heart filled up with genuine affection for his sister.

“A tea tray would help, I think.”

At her words, there came a knock at the door, and Leopold, grinning, rose to his feet and went to open it. “As requested.”

That made Anna laugh, startling the maid who clearly wondered whether she had done something wrong.

Leopold ushered her in and then told Anna that he would pour the tea rather than having her do it.

In the ongoing conversation and the resulting lifting of Anna’s spirits, Leopold too found himself happier with the connection between them.

It was only the beginning, he knew, but he was committed to making a profound change if only she would give him opportunity.

Though the seeming interest between Melford and Lady Gwendoline…

well, that required further consideration and, mayhap, some questions asked of his brother.