Page 29 of The Mage’s Rake (Catkin Trilogy #2)
Epilogue
Hugh
F or long years, I had spent Wintermas like a ghost, passing my time in one host or hostess’s house or another. Some years, my bed would be filled with a lover. Other years, I woke up alone, feeling the pangs of loss even more keenly than ever. This Wintermas morning felt different.
I woke up to white hair tickling my nose and slender limbs trapped within my arms. Half awake, I snuggled closer, burying my head in the crook of Alan’s neck.
It wasn’t simply the scent of petrichor and incense that I recognized.
Somehow, I was attuned to his aura, the presence that could only be Alan. I would never mistake him for another.
If one had asked me whether I was expecting a gift from Meryn, I would have laughed, but now I felt more blessed by the gods than ever.
They had sent me something I had not realized I needed.
Now, I knew better. So, I happily allowed myself to drift into a light doze instead of seeking out Landis’s company as I was often wont to do.
I was happy to simply be Hugh. Hugh with Alan.
Eventually, I heard my stomach growl, and Alan stretched lazily, mumbling about breaking our fast downstairs. Nevertheless, we took our time, stealing in a few long kisses and enjoying each other’s touches. It was as though we were discovering each other all over again.
In a way, we are , I mused, as I lightly tugged on Alan’s hand, leading him down the hall. Up until yesterday, we were driven by fear and regret. We hid from each other and from ourselves… but now we stand together.
It really made this Wintermas feel even more special than ever.
Breaking our fast with a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs and rashers and perfectly buttered toast, sipping tea and mulled wine before the fire, playing parlor room games, and passing the time until Corrin woke up, Landis, Alan, and I rediscovered the magick of Wintermas for ourselves.
The few staff who remained at the castle had the rest of the day off, and we raided the pantry cheerfully.
When Ian and Tomlyn came by to give a small handmade gift of thanks—a roughly woven bracelet of painted wooden beads for Landis and Alan, we set out what cookies we could find for the kit and spent a good two hours with our visitors.
After the two left, Corrin woke up and our celebration became even more cheery as small gifts were exchanged.
Alan’s violet eyes lit up behind his spectacles as he unwrapped a set of glass jars that I had bought a week or so ago from the Old Crone.
“Not the notebook,” Alan noted. “Wasn’t that the bet?”
“It was, and I lost, didn’t I? Another gift for another time.”
“Did you lose?” Alan’s left eyebrow rose quizzically. “I fancy we were both a bit wrong and right at the same time.”
“What did you owe me again?” I wondered aloud lazily.
“Later.” Alan blushed.
Later arrived close to midnight, when the wind howled the greatest as thick snowflakes fell.
Alan paused by one of the doors leading down to the servants’ gallery.
Wrapping my right arm around his waist, I reached up to affix a small sprig of mistletoe to the arch above us. Alan gazed upward thoughtfully.
“Really, Hugh? This is where you want to do it?”
“Well, it won’t be the last one for this evening,” I promised him roguishly. “It’s just the start. I’m not finished with you yet.”
Alan stared at me thoughtfully.
“You said that before.” He raised an eyebrow quizzically. “I’ve yet to see it.”
“I meant it.” Both of my arms now wrapped around him, pulling him tightly against my chest. I gazed into the silver light of his spectacles and smiled. “After that… adventure you went on, my heart nearly stopped. I thought you were lost to me forever. I’m not about to lose you now.”
“What about—“ Alan stopped, looking down and away. His silvery-white tail swished furiously.
“About what?”
“…Margriet?” Alan whispered.
Margriet. I waited for the pain to stab my heart, for the wave of sadness, but for some reason, it seemed as though my memory had become less of a burden to bear. I had lost someone dear, but my heart, for the first time in years, was finding new life again. All thanks to Alan’s magickal touch.
“Margriet?”
“You said her name. That first night we were together.” Alan shrugged. “I figured there was… someone else?”
“There was.” I nodded. “Once upon a time. My first love and, I thought for some time, my last. She died on—during—at Marrasol.”
“Gods. Hugh. I’m sorry! I—“
My finger rose to Alan’s lips, gently silencing him.
“I thought my heart died that day,” I confessed.
“In many ways, it did. I felt guilty. I should have been there… but what could I do? I had made a vow before Solas to protect Landis. I had to choose… and I chose him. I never expected to… ever recapture that feeling. When the curse hit me, I suppose I just figured it was about time, but then…” I trailed off.
“But then?” prompted Alan after a moment.
My gaze shifted back to his, and my heart turned over at the sight of the tender, worried expression written all over his thin features. The soft parting of his lips. I couldn’t help myself. Leaning down, I placed a kiss there, as soft and as gentle as a snowflake.
“Then you restored my heart, Alan, with whatever godsforsaken magick you wield. Between you and the gods, you fought for me and brought me back… in more ways than one. I found my heart again. I found you.”
“Hugh!”
Alan’s arms flung about my neck, and his lips crashed into mine. For several minutes, the world was drowned in a golden-white haze as we lost ourselves in each other’s touch.
A week later, the dream had still not ended.
Every day, I woke up to find Alan in my arms. His time for fleeing and wandering had ended, and I was already planning ways to combine our belongings into a larger set of apartments in the castle.
I needed to figure out a way to find room for my training bars and equipment alongside Alan’s greenhouse and miniature herb garden.
At the same time, Landis and Alan were busy in various meetings focused on practical measures that could finally be taken to help Lower Rime.
Thanks to the successful, if eventful, charity soirée and performance, enough funds from various nobles and tradesfolk had come in.
With Lord Berrymay’s oversight, Landis was allowed some royal coin to spend on the charitable venture as well.
The two young toms spent quite a few afternoons interviewing various community voices to prioritize their charitable spending properly.
Corrin, on the other hand, joined Lord Elthorne and me in meetings to discuss the news that Lord Elthorne brought from the north.
The misunderstandings concerning Princess Rilla and the failed arranged marriage were now properly dealt with.
King Norran of Estellia was more than ready to set the date and time for a proper signing of the treaty.
The tentative date was in the spring, just before the Spring Solstice of Nyria and Tala, the Goddesses of Fertility and the Herb.
Our days, however, were not entirely spent in statecraft and duties.
Evenings were spent together. Oftentimes, before his night duties, Corrin would join Landis, Alan, and myself for dinner.
Corrin, by general vote of the guard, had been allotted to watching the king, so his first hours were spent with his mate.
With Alan curled up at my side, and Landis snuggling against Corrin, we enjoyed quiet nights of relaxed chatter, glad to enjoy the peace we had found for ourselves.
One such night, a fortnight after Wintermas, I dragged Alan onto my lap, cracking a joke about Alan’s dancing.
“It is a sight to behold, let me assure you,” I said with a wink.
“Ugh,” Alan said only briefly struggling before succumbing to my bear-like embrace. “I am not about to dance like that for a while. I should hope not at any rate!”
“Oh?” Landis’s golden ears perked forward with curiosity.
“Moon magic?” Corrin raised a dark eyebrow.
“You know it, Corrin?”
“I’ve heard. Potent stuff.”
“Potent?” asked Landis with wide eyes.
“Very potent,” I grinned.
“Gods, Hugh,” Alan rolled his eyes and twisted about on my lap to glare down at me. “You’re giving them the wrong idea!”
“Really?” I smiled sunnily up at him, knowing that he would not be able to resist my charms.
As hoped, Alan sighed, looped his arms around my neck, gave my lips a peck, and muttered something about exaggerations and old wives’ tales.
“Goodness, this is a sight!” A familiar voice resounded through the room, instantly drawing Alan to alertness. Gareth stepped forward, hands on his hips as he gazed at the four of us looking rather guilty. “What did I miss?”