Page 21 of The Mage’s Rake (Catkin Trilogy #2)

Hugh

…and gods willing, I shall return to Rimefrost by the end of the month.

While I am blessed with family, a surfeit, some might say, my thoughts stray to you and Landis more often than I’d like to admit.

After years of watching each other’s back, it feels strange to spend extended time away from the pair of you.

I can only imagine what you two have gotten up to in my absence.

Ah well.

I shall send word when more news reaches me from the shadow network. As I stated in my previous letter, I am still awaiting two reports from the King’s Blades I sent south.

Yours ever, Gareth

S taring down at the firm strokes of Gareth’s pen, I felt a pang of regret.

Gareth didn’t know. When I told Alan that I had no intention of spoiling everyone’s holidays with the doom and gloom of my imminent death, I had meant it.

The last thing I wanted was to spoil Sumarene’s first truly peaceful Wintermas holidays.

I was beginning to realize that perhaps secrecy was not the best of ideas. Alan probably had the right of it. My true friends, few as they were, would be aghast to hear of my struggles. They would be devastated to discover that I had faced such a massive threat on my own.

But at least I am not alone , another part of me pointed out. Alan has been with me every step of the way.

The memories we already shared together comforted me…

and that was an odd realization. Had I not begun this whole ordeal dreading the thought of spending more time in Alan’s company?

I had. But I had also changed. He had changed.

Or perhaps we were both the same, but the opportunity to work together had cleared away preconceptions and misunderstandings.

Either way, I was grateful for the time I had been given with Alan.

Gareth and Landis would be less happy though. If anything were to happen to me , I corrected myself. This might all blow over easily enough.

I repeated that to myself when I spent the morning at Landis and Alan’s side as they oversaw the preparations for the Wintermas Charitable Basket Charity Soirée.

Today, we were sitting in Landis’s offices, sharing a table as we went over security measures for the soirée.

The Wintermas Charitable Basket Charity Soirée.

I choked down laughter just thinking about the title for the event.

Alan’s naming, of course. I could just tell by the bombastic length.

The event was aimed at bringing together lords, ladies, and all manner of well-to-do gentlekin for a night of frivolity… and giving.

According to Landis, the Charity Soirée would be an evening spent together with the aim of sending the proceeds to the Lower Rime.

Various activities would provide the guests with a joyous method of parting with their coin.

The most anticipated activity would be the auction where rarer potions made by Alan, donated handicrafts made by the most skilled tradesfolk, baked goods courtesy of the royal household, and various other less useful relics and antiques from the royal treasury house would be sold.

Landis and a few of his courtiers had also come up with a grand scheme to auction off the company of willing nobles and knights for coin.

“You will be up on auction as well, Hugh,” Alan said. “Along with some other Sunna and Munni knights. Payment for gentle company.”

His spectacles glittered warningly in my direction, and his violet gaze skewered me with intense observation as if looking for any sign of mischief. I presented him with an innocent smile and said, “Your wish is my command, Alan.”

This only made Alan even more annoyed. He glared at me, huffed, flicked his ears back and forth, and whipped his now very fluffed tail from side to side.

I chuckled. It was clear that Alan was allowing me to participate only out of the goodness of his heart and concern for the catkin living in the Lower Rime.

If he had his way, I would no doubt be pulling double duty as head of the castle guard, and I would be nowhere in sight of Landis’s court.

However, my presence in the auction would be sure to bring coin.

Alan’s lips compressed into a thin line as he quietly fumed to himself.

That was when I noticed that the nib of Alan’s quill was quite worn away thanks to his disgruntled tapping, and a massive blob of black ink now covered the edge of his parchment. Brushing a new quill against his nose, I smirked as Alan jerked back, startled out of his thoughts.

“You are destroying your quill, Alan,” I said, poking him in the cheek with a fresh quill. “Here. Take this one.”

“My quill is just fin—“ Alan’s protests cut off as he glared down at the blunted end of his quill. “Oh.”

“Yes. Quite.” I said smoothly.

“Well, I can just fix—“

“You already sharpened it twice, Alan. The quill is dead. Accept it and move on.”

“I had just started to use it!”

“It certainly looks well used…”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Our bickering broke off as Landis’s chuckle drew our gaze over to where the golden-haired king sprawled in his seat. His deep blue eyes were fastened on Alan and me with no small amount of amusement. Landis grinned.

“What?” I asked, feeling a bit defensive for some unknown reason.

I was suddenly aware that Alan and I were no longer alone in the comforting privacy of his laboratory. Alan himself had stiffened, comically poker-faced as he struggled with mortification. Landis’s grin softened to a more gentle smile.

“I like seeing my friends happy,” he said simply.

The fur of my tail settled as his words sank in. I knew what he meant.

Looking around the cozy study, I realized the small ways in which Corrin had left his imprint on Landis.

There were bows mounted on the wall now, and a new bearskin rug on the floor by the hearth.

Several pieces of glimmering amethysts sat in a row on the mantel above the fire.

Touches of Corrin’s home, hints of another world.

In many ways, Landis and Corrin’s lives had become so deeply entwined.

Like Alan and mine , I realized as Alan’s fingers brushed against mine, taking my offered quill from my lax fingers. I looked down at Gareth’s letter. If Gareth were here, I would tell him , I thought. Gareth and Landis… and Corrin. They all deserve to know.

But not today , I decided. Not when Alan and Landis are so busy with preparations for the charity soiree. After it’s over, I’ll sit down and talk with Corrin and Landis. We still have time.

“You were quiet today,” Alan said, after we left Landis and Corrin alone for the afternoon. Corrin had risen early to spend more time with Landis, so Alan and I quickly took our leave.

All of the preparations had been ironed out thanks to Alan and Landis’s excitement.

Alan’s organization and Landis’s gentle charisma had cozened the entire royal household into a shared fervor for the project.

Perhaps the fact that the proceeds would go entirely to the less fortunate also spurred everyone into action.

Either way, the meetings had gone well, and I now had a handful of briefs to give to various captains of the guard beside my usual walkabout of the castle.

There was also the matter of Gareth’s letter.

“What did Gareth write about?”

As if echoing my thoughts, Alan’s words drew my attention to the white-haired slender young tom who stared at me with curiosity gleaming in his bright purple eyes. I shook my head and sighed.

“Nothing, unfortunately. He’s still waiting on a couple of reports himself. Not that he’s entirely without opinion, I imagine.”

I ran my hand through my wild hair and contemplated getting my untidy mane a trim.

I realized that Alan’s gaze was fastened on my hair as well with some measure of approval and admiration.

I decided to leave my wild wavy hair free for now.

Which, I knew, was absolutely ridiculous, but pleasing Alan had become second nature to me by this point.

“What do you mean?” Alan asked as we walked down the hall together.

“Gareth probably has his suspicions, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has a tenuous connection between our shadowy enemy and our more recent attackers,” I said.

“Gareth is that kind of catkin, you see. Always two steps ahead of everyone else. You know that is why Prince Loren ended up like the rest of them at Marrasol, right? He pissed off the Wrights, and Gareth withdrew his support. Withdrew the talent of his mind. Instead, he sat back and calculated the fallout, and he cast his lot in with the one person no one expected.”

“With Landis… with Landis and you.”

“Yes.” I smiled fondly at the memories that flooded in.

“Well, it was amazing that Landis and I had survived that long. We had managed to eke out a bare living in the northeast tower, but when Gareth arrived, we were swept off to Baywaters, and I was able to properly guard Landis. Gareth just… knew. He took one look at Landis and knew. Before you could say ‘knife’, he had built up all of these plans and contingencies. It’s probably why he’s glad to have someone like you about. You know, you’re so organized, Alan.”

Alan blushed and shrugged awkwardly.

“He was probably glad that you had remained at Landis’s side, too,” Alan pointed out. “I don’t know much about what went on, but from the sounds of it, in the last days, it was practically every catkin for themselves.”

“It was the right thing to do.”

“But it can’t have been easy.” he mused aloud, “I mean, you could have left and gone to be with your family, but you didn’t. Landis is lucky to have a companion like you in his life.”

It was odd hearing those words. I tipped my head and considered them.

I had never questioned what I had done. At first, I had been simply following orders.

I was fulfilling my family’s destiny, the fate of all Starrs.

I was fulfilling my mother and father’s wishes.

Then, I met Landis and got to know him. I recognized that Landis, deep down, was an intelligent, sensitive tom who would be the perfect leader for Sumarene.

I simply had to ensure that he survived whatever was thrown at him.

I had never considered it more than my rightful duty.

Alan’s words spun everything in a new light.

“And now he has more than me,” I said slowly, threading through the jumble of thoughts that piled in. “There’s Gareth… Corrin… and you. We aren’t alone anymore.”

We aren’t alone anymore.

The weight of my words suddenly hit me. Alan and I had unthinkingly made our way down to his laboratory. Our feet had found the path from sheer habit, and we now stood in front of the rough pine and iron door. Alan’s purple gaze, level with mine, seemed to plumb the depth of my soul.

We aren’t alone anymore.

It was as if a great weight hit me—the truth of his words, yet at the same time as though a burden I had never known I carried had simultaneously been lifted off my shoulders.

I wasn’t alone. Not anymore. It was true—I had lost Ma, Da, Egarr, Arlene, and…

Margriet. I had lost others on the Fields of Marrasol, but Landis and I had found a home.

I had found a home. Fearful of loss, I had tried to ignore the truth, but it was undeniable.

My arms wrapped about Alan’s shoulders, tugging at him to draw him closer. I wasn’t alone anymore. I had Landis, Gareth, Corrin… and I had Alan.

Alan, who quietly accepted my embrace, as I stood entwined before his laboratory’s door.

His hands rested on my waist under my cloak.

His cheek nestled against my own as my arms wrapped around his slender frame.

I inhaled the scent of pungent potions, leather, and apple blossoms, and I felt such peace.

When my lips traced a path from his ear, along his jaw, and then up to the corner of his lips, I knew that I had finally come home.