Page 129 of The Long Way Home

“Both.” Taura shrugs.

I stare at Henry. “He must know I love him.”

He nods. “He does know you love him, Parks. But you love all of us.”

“But I’m different with him.” I frown.

“You have a history with him, so why wouldn’t you be different?” Henry nods once. “But just because you have a history with someone doesn’t mean you’re actively in love with them.”

“—Which you are, by the way.” Christian gives me a pointed look.

I glance at him. “Yes, okay. Thank you.”

I look between them all. “Do you think if he knew for certain that I love him that he’d break up with Jordan?”

Taura nods emphatically.

I look between the boys. “Really?”

“Tell him!” Henry points at me. “He’s always fought for you. What have you done? Nothing! Ran away, dated a sexy pilot, fucked his best friend—”

“For the billionth time—” I wave a finger between Christian and me. “—Zero penetration.”

“Lot of hand work though,” Christian winks at Henry.

(We do a no-look high-five and Henry rolls his eyes.)

And then Christian leans over and flicks me. “Go tell him.”

I frown at him. “No.” I glance at Taura. “He should tell me. I made it like, very, very clear that I had feelings for him.”

“Yeah?” Christian frowns at me. “How?”

“I’ve done…” I swallow, thinking for things I could say that are quantifiable. “Well, I — I did — when I told him I was staying and he—” I clear my throat.

We’ve looked at each other in ways that I think mean something?

We’ve… had passive aggressive conversations?

We’ve held hands when we told our friends a traumatic secret?

“The clearest you were was when you were drunk and you asked him in front of all of us if he wanted to have sex,” Henry tells me as he stretches his arms up over his head.

I balk at him. “Sorry — I what?”

“At the club the other night.” Henry shrugs. “You were sloshed. And you asked BJ if he wanted to have sex with you.”

I glance at Christian, incredulous. “No?”

“You were really drunk,” Taura offers.

“Oh my god!” I fan myself. I might throw up. “And he heard me?”

“Yeah, we all heard you,” Henry says merrily. “You were really loud.”

My hands fly to my face.

“If it’s any consolation—” Taura gives me a look. “BJ was well pleased, though it was subdued for his girlfriend’s sake.”