Page 112 of The Long Way Home

I think I’m going to be sick.

Fuck.

Fuck!

How did I walk in there trying to break up with her and left living with her?

I was planning on ending it with her there and heading straight on over to Aquavit for dinner with everyone, probably just walk up to Parks and kiss her on the spot. Make up for it how I should have done the other day. Wear a shirt from Casablanca I think she’d like on me, think about her hands slipping under it when I’d walk her home and never walk away from her again, and now I’m walking into Aquavit with Jordan… who wasn’t even accounted for in the fucking reservation — that’s how sure I was about calling it. Didn’t bother to book her a seat at dinner and yet here we are. Living together, apparently.

When we walk in, Magnolia’s eyes find mine first and they fall down my body, eyeing the shirt that I wore for her and her eyes go bright and just for a second they spark up like a firefly. I know her eyes better than anything in the world probably; she’d deny it, but she knew what I was going to do, she wanted me to have done it… and then Jordan walks in a few steps behind me and the best eyes in the world go dim.

Parks glances over at Jonah, who’s staring at me with a frown. Subtly he mouths, “What the fuck?”

I shake my head at him.

Parks turns away, pours herself a massive glass of wine, drinks it in one go. She looks back over at Jonah, whispers something sharp — I can tell it’s sharp by the angles of her face and the way Jonah’s subtly shaking his head. He shrugs, helpless.

“Sorry I’m like this.” Jordan smiles as she sits down at the table. “I didn’t know we had a dinner.”

Magnolia lets out a single ‘hah’ and Jordan looks at her confused.

“Life. Such a journey...” Parks shrugs loosely. “You never know when a dinner is, who’ll be at the dinner, what even the fuck was the point of the dinner—”

Jonah and I trade uneasy glances.

“Magnolia,” Jordan calls from across the table, “I love your top.”

Parks flashes her a quick smile. “Saint Laurent.”

It’s bad news how quiet she’s being. Won’t even tell Jordan the name of the shirt? Fuck. It’s the calm before the storm.

Jordan glances at me and nods her head towards Jonah. “Did you ask him?”

“Ask me what?” Jo hears because she didn’t say it quietly.

I give her a look. “Jords, we just got here. When would I have had the chance?”

“The chance to ask me what?” Jonah asks again.

“Well, my flatmate, Claudia — do you know her?”

“Intimately.” Jonah nods and I roll my eyes.

“Oh.” Jordan scrunches her face a bit. “Well, she flooded the bathroom. And we have to move out for a month and I was hoping I could come and move in with you guys.”

There’s a clank as Magnolia drops her iPhone right in the middle of her dinner plate.

Christian starts laughing and so does Parks, but I can tell she’s not laughing at the phone, she’s laughing because if she doesn’t she’ll cry. Eyes are glassy, approaching sparkly, and her eyes only go sparkly before she cries. It’s one of her wiliest tricks she doesn’t mean to do.

Jonah’s basically a deer in headlights. Probably not the overwhelming response Jordan was hoping for because he’s basically been staring at her mouth ajar for the last 30 seconds.

“Beej?” Jonah eventually says. He’s blinking a lot. “Thoughts? On your—” He pauses for a fraction of a second. “—girlfriend moving in with us?”

“Yeah. I said I’d talk to you about it later.” I give Jordan a look to cast the conversation back into the ocean of topics she could have brought up instead, but she doesn’t and I don’t honestly know whether she’s not sensing the vibe or is just ignoring it.

“No, don’t be silly!” Parks chirps. “Talk about it now!”

I glance over at her with heavy eyes.