Page 4 of The Intimacy of Skin

I attracted problems like the Earth attracted the Sun.

Without burning hot anger or pain, I was nothing but a lifeless husk with no reason to keep going.

I started life as a victim, and it became increasingly apparent that I would end it that way.

What else was I supposed to do, besides accept that?

My entire life was built around the idea that, if I allowed the pain, it would hurt less.

The only issue was that I knew that if I felt anything aside from pain, I’d crave it.

I knew that I would want more, and if I had more, I’d be too afraid of the pain, and pain was all I had.

If I got used to anything different, the pain would be too much.

I wouldn’t survive, and I had to survive.

I had to keep living. Not for myself, but for Willow.

For my mom’s spirit. I made sure I never felt a loving touch because if I did, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be okay with not having it again.

“I don’t do rough. I don’t do particularly fast. I am about to be the easiest, gentlest person you’ve probably had in a while because I’m about to practically make love to you.”

Of everything he could’ve said or done, the man with flames for eyes—Price, I knew now—chose to say the one thing that terrified me the most.

When I saw him, something had clicked inside of me. A lock’s hinge inside my head began to weaken and bend. Amber flames under a summer night’s sky. I was already craving his warmth.

Price was hot. I hadn’t been joking with him when I said he looked like an emo Prince Charming.

Tattoos peeked out from under the rolled-up sleeves of his jacket, the muscles I’d noticed before bulged through the material.

He looked like a dream. I could see a small bump along the ridge of his strong nose, giving him a unique side profile .

He was staring at me, one of his eyebrows quirked, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. Fuck me sideways.

There, on the left side of his mouth, was a single dimple that appeared when he moved his lips just right.

I was on the brink of losing my ability to think completely.

Any strength and control I thought I had was wavering just from being in front of him, and now that I knew he had a fucking dimple?

Just one, not two. It was practically impossible to think right.

I should turn around. Walk right out of the door and forget about him. I had been calling it a night and walking home with a stench of defeat to follow me when he stopped beside me.

Why did he want me soft and slow? Did he just say four hundred bucks? Fuck. That would cover the rest of my shared bills with Willow. I was stunned in place, fighting back and forth with myself while Price’s face stayed the same.

A widening smirk. Searching, fierce eyes.

He was waiting for a response, and I didn’t have one yet.

I was stuck trying to remind myself of why I didn’t do nice clients.

I was desperately reaching for the motivation to leave and let go, like any other client I’d dealt with.

But it was so tempting. So, so tempting to know what the man with amber eyes felt like against my skin.

“So?” Price questioned, breaking me from my thoughts much faster than I was ready for.

The overly bright hotel lighting caught the sparked flame of his eyes, and for a second, I was afraid to look into them.

I was prepared for violence or a deep shade of primal desire.

I knew, though, that if I looked at him, I wouldn’t see that.

Something worse than anger would be there—something far closer to compassion than I was ready for.

With a shake of my head, I made a decision and stepped back, crossing my arms over my chest. “I don’t do soft.

Sorry to waste your time, but if pretending I’m some long-lost lover is what you’re lookin’ for, then you’ve picked the wrong whore.

” If Willow were here, she’d slap me for using that word.

Price didn’t look all that happy, either. He stumbled over his words for a second. “I’m not looking for that. I don’t—That’s not—I don’t like rushing or yelling or hitting like the other sick fucks obviously like to do. I’m not like them. ”

Was he sheltered, or clueless? I scoffed and rubbed a hand over my face.

I tried to push away the water slowly rushing over me, chilling me from head to toe.

I wanted to flail my arms and gasp for air.

I didn’t know how to swim, and here I was, suddenly drowning with no way to get out. “Honey, do you know who I am?”

“No? Is there a reason why I should?”

Putting on my best smile, I added a sway to my hips as I sauntered as close to Price as I dared.

“I’m the whore that begs men to treat me like shit.

The twink depraved assholes scour the streets looking for because my specialty is unlike any other.

” Though it was shaky and slightly uncertain, I pushed a finger against his chest. “I don’t fuckin’ do soft.

Hit me, bite me, pound me—I don’t give much of a shit how you do it, but you better leave bruises.

I don’t know what your deal is, but I’m not exactly in the business of feelin’ loved and cared for. ”

Prince Charming didn’t look so charming when he wrapped his palm around my wrist, locking it in place on his chest. “I don’t know what your deal is either, but I saw you the other night.

You were swaying on your damn feet from how beat up you were.

Don’t tell me you actually enjoy that shit when you looked nothing but miserable. ”

I rolled my eyes and made a poor attempt at trying to yank my hand back.

“If you’re gonna go with the whole nice guy savior act, then why the hell are you even here, huh?

Nice guys don’t prowl the streets. High and mighty ones don’t pick up an injured puppy just to dick ’em around and throw ’em back out. ”

I was arguing for arguing’s sake. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to leave. I didn’t want to touch his lips to mine. I wanted to maul his luscious, full fucking lips.

I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew what my body craved. I knew what my mind was saying. The water was too deep, too close to my mouth and nose.

“First of all, I never claimed to be nice or high and mighty or whatever. Second of all, I’m not throwing you back out. I got this place for the night, so you can sleep here.”

“There it is! Right there!” A man who did what Price did wasn’t innocent.

He had to understand that. I needed him to understand that, or I’d truly be forced to walk away.

Everything inside of me was begging to leave, sounding alarms at the danger in front of me.

The danger of soft, gentle touches, I wasn’t allowed to feel without consequence.

My feet were stuck, though. Once again, I was captive under his gaze.

I pulled back a bit when I felt Price’s hold on my wrist falter.

“I have a home, you ignorant ass. That’s what I mean by high and mighty.

You picked me up, taking my time away from me, and you should know that time literally equals money to me.

” With a frustrated sigh, I pinched the bridge of my nose to try and clear my mind.

“Now you’re calling me stupid?” His nose scrunched, an incredulous tone in his voice. “Well, you sure are a ray of sunshine.”

“I didn’t say stupid, I said ignorant and ass.”

“That’s the same thing.”

“No, Price, it isn’t. Google exists, use it.”

He heaved a deep sigh, shaking his head. “Okay, this isn’t going anywhere.”

“Glad we can agree on that. Excuse me, I need to go scrounge up the money you’ve made me lose.” I went to push past him and grab my jacket when one of his hands stopped me by my shoulder. It startled me, forcing a hissed “What?” from my lips.

Price looked straight at me, and again, I was too afraid of what I’d see if I looked into his eyes. “Let me pay for your time. Please.” He sounded defeated, almost.

I narrowed my eyes, refusing immediately. “Absolutely not. I’m not letting you pay when we haven’t done anything for you to pay for.”

His eyelids fell shut briefly, a lull passing between us. When he opened them, I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt him. “Then let me get you off. I won’t hit you. I won’t leave bruises. Let me show you what it feels like when you aren’t hurting.”

There was another decision before me. One that could ruin my life.

Price had no idea what line he was begging me to cross.

He had no way of understanding that it wasn’t as simple as letting him be gentle.

That it was a monumental task of giving in.

I didn’t know what would happen if I gave in because I’d never done it before.

Well, that was a lie, and I knew it. I had given in plenty of times—once when I was a kid, the first slice of a razor against my skin in the solitude of my locked bathroom, the first time I listened to the voice in my head and took my first client—the list went on, but they were all in the past. I was tired.

Tired of holding back, giving in, and then regretting it .

What scared me the most was that I desperately wanted to. God, did I want to give in to Price. For once, I was face-to-face with a man who craved me but didn’t want to hurt me. What did it feel like not to be hurt?

Fuck, I had no idea. I wanted to know, but I didn’t want to lose control. I didn’t want to lose more of myself than I had left.

Taking a steadying breath, I looked into Price’s eyes. I was right to be scared before as there was nothing there except a never-ending depth of kindness and compassion.

A rolling field of sunflowers. A never-ending bonfire.

“If I say yes, what will you do?”