Page 3 of The Human Element (The Human Element Collection #1)

After her father passed a month before she graduated, Lorelei didn’t really have much to go back to the states for.

She never really knew her mother, but from what her father told her, she wasn’t meant to be the mothering type.

Around the second year of her parents’ marriage, her mom Claire, got into a pretty vicious car accident.

It left her with a knee that would never be quite right again.

Her dad said she was constantly in pain and began to take advantage of the painkillers.

Her denial of her addiction really put a strain on their relationship, more than once resulting in her father attempting to take her to the hospital.

But when they found out she was pregnant with Lorelei, she seemed to realize the wrong she was doing and put a stop to it.

But not long after the birth, she began using again.

This sent Lorelei’s father to the brink, and to protect his only child, he left her.

But it didn’t seem to matter to her; most of the time she hardly knew where she was let alone remembered that she had a child in the first place.

So her father raised her, best he could, on a museum salary.

Benjamin Alexander was a tall, lumbering sort of man, who always seemed to have what looked like peach fuzz on his face at all times.

With the kindest blue eyes that could easily reassure and comfort you when you were feeling worn down or distressed, large, round glasses that sat at the brim of his nose snuggly, conforming to a lean, freckled face—he had the kind of look that made a person smile on command, for the pure sweetness of it alone.

He worked in the archives of the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles.

Mr. Alexander always had a love and passion for history, which trickled down to his beloved daughter for whom his world revolved.

Although a quiet man, he did his best to instill his love of history into Lorelei, who had a natural knack for memorizing facts and trivia.

Her favorite memories were when he would have to work late, and although a bit reluctant, would bring her along.

Lorelei adored going to the museum where she would play pretend archaeologist attempting to decode the bones discovered at an ancient burial site or an explorer trying to find the City of Gold.

She also enjoyed watching her father work, quietly and with a gentleness she only ever saw elsewhere when he would tuck the stray pieces of blonde hairs behind her ears when he was putting her to bed at night.

As Lorelei got older, her father was her constant rock: between heartbreaks from silly boys, always showing up to her soccer games, and shouting louder than any other parent in the stands despite his usually quiet nature, and even fixing her favorite sausage and potato soup whenever she got sick.

Lorelei never usually missed her mother because her father filled the space that was left there.

It wasn’t until the death of her mother while in high school due to her ever-growing addiction—was when Lorelei felt the blow of being truly motherless.

Lorelei didn’t cry at the funeral, but she saw her father did.

Out of the corner of her eye, with the church beginning to empty as the service came to an end, she watched as her father walked back to the casket, assuming he didn’t know people were still around.

He leaned quizzically over the body of her mother, and she saw small drops of tears fall into the casket before he closed the lid.

It was the only time she ever saw her father show any emotion towards the mother she never had.

Lorelei hurt for her father at that moment.

Even if her father never said it, and seemed to be generally happy, she knew then he was lonely for never being able to have the companion he so longed for.

He loved her mother fiercely, and she knew it killed him when he had to leave.

Around the time of his death, they had just been speaking a few days earlier on video chat, discussing how her finals were going and his trip out for the graduation.

He seemed in good spirits and was terribly excited to be back in London.

He had always loved London, ever since he was stationed there for many years while serving in the Air Force.

When Lorelei was young, he would tell her stories of the hustle and bustle of a city mixed beautifully with old and new; a lively place where it felt as if history could come alive there at any moment.

It was from a young age that Lorelei dreamed of living there someday.

She never even thought that something might be troubling him, she couldn’t tell he was distraught in any way.

But that’s how it goes most of the time, doesn’t it?

The person who smiles the brightest and always strives to make others feel good around them, are the ones who are hurting the most on the inside.

If only she had known then, she still thinks she could have done something…

.anything. When she didn’t get a call or text from him that he was boarding his flight to come a couple days before graduation, she immediately knew something was wrong.

She contacted his neighbor, Florence, to go check to see if he was at the house.

It was locked from the inside, but his car was still in the driveway.

A couple of hours later, police found his body hanging from the stairway banister.

Lorelei never attended graduation, she cried for what seemed like weeks.

She blamed herself for not staying home to be with him all these years.

Guilt consumed her. The “what ifs” of whether she stayed in the states with him; if that would’ve helped keep him here.

How blind she was to his torment. It ate away at her, and after the tumultuous feelings she continued to struggle within her life because of her mother’s absence; and her own issues with depression; it sent her into a spiral.

Hence the reason for the psychiatrist to help deal with the guilt of his passing and her own sadness of the loss of both her parents.

It’s been a year now, and although equipped with a much healthier view of the situation and on her feet with work—a crippling pain erupted in her chest every time she thought of him.

They both missed a woman who was never there; but should’ve been.

She only wished she could’ve told her dad he didn’t deserve what he went through either, that he was strong and he gave her the best life, and that she was so sorry he was suffering quietly for so long.

The memory of their last hug as he left the airport back to the states a few months before her graduation tugged at her mind again.

It was a spontaneous trip around London together, reminiscing old times he had spent there in his Air Force days, beguiling the majesty of the city, the smile he wore the entire time—this was how she tried to remember him.

It was a comfort to know their last time together was this beautiful and joyful, which eased her a bit whenever she felt the sickening, overwhelming sadness threaten to overtake her.

But, she truly believed that whatever pain or loneliness her father was feeling, she was just happy he didn’t have to feel it any longer.

Sometimes she liked to imagine her parents, falling back in love somewhere starting over together in a paradise where neither could hurt or worry.

A swooshing sound alerted Lorelei and forced her to come out of her thoughts. A slender, but fit looking gentleman with short brown locks, and a smile that covered the width of his face, stepped inside the car and beamed at her.

“Oh good, you’re awake. When I came into the car and saw you were sleeping, I tried to stay out to let you rest. You seemed absolutely scunnered!” His Scottish accent was thick, almost raspy in nature and sent what felt like shock waves through the train car due to its vivacity.

Lorelei didn’t say anything but continued to observe the man, who obviously picked up on the fact she was confused by his phraseology.

“Apologies, tired, I mean.”

With that clarification, he closed the door behind him and took his seat opposite her, picking up the leather satchel bag and placing it on the opposite side of him neatly.

He was handsome, an almost devil-may-care flare about him that radiated each time he flipped his bangs off his forehead.

He had a defined nose, but it suited his face, matching his high cheekbones.

Wearing a navy sport coat and slacks, he crossed his legs before clearing his throat.

An awkward air filled the car until Lorelei spoke.

“How did you know I wouldn’t understand the word…” She paused, unable to remember the word he used.

“Scunnered? You gave the classic, “What the fuck?” look when I said it, so naturally, I assumed you weren’t from around here.” He chuckled, and Lorelei noticed it had a light, playful air to it. She felt a little flutter when she heard it, which made her smile in return, the awkwardness fading.

“I’m sorry for that, I think I was just deep in thought. I am a bit...scunnered.”