Page 40

Chapter

Thirty-Nine

Hey Dad,

I got your last letter, I’m thrilled to hear that you have been feeling okay.

Has Flora got you moving?

I looked at a book last week that noted the importance of continued movement.

I’ve attached a copy that I transcribed.

I have begun my placement in the House of Shadows.

I’m not sure if I told you that we had been offered a choice, well, at least I had, and I feel as of this moment that it was the right one.

In addition to being allowed to look through the books in the house’s library, I have also been working side by side with the man that is going to be king.

That is not something I would ever have thought to put down on paper, and even more to my astonishment, I find myself considering him a friend.

I’m not sure how much longer we will have in our placements.

They told us that it would be a few months, but with a possible upcoming coronation, it may be shorter.

I’m hoping that I will have more answers soon.

In the meantime, be sure to keep up with your teas, and be well.

Give my best to Flora.

I love you,

Bri

???

Over the past couple of weeks, I’d gone from fetching books and taking notes to assisting Alvar with planning the ball.

Days flew by. I tried to avoid being consumed by my thoughts.

Thoughts of Lil, and by extension Kadian, thoughts of which court I may belong to, and whether I would be disappointed if it wasn't the Court of Shadows—considerations of how it would work to be part of the Court of Shadows with Dainan, and Iona.

I hadn’t seen or spoken to Marsh, as he’d traveled back to Hadash. I found I missed speaking with him, but not as much as I once had. I keenly felt Kadian and Lil’s absence. Kadian, my oldest friend. I wasn’t myself without him. I knew there was a possibility when we came to Azmeer that we would be separated, especially if we found ourselves in different courts. I hadn’t anticipated him being taken from me so soon.

Tamra and Oz had become my regular companions, joining me for dinner every night and sitting on my balcony with me. When I had free time, I popped into the library to see Addie, but she was busy gathering scrolls on lineages, necessary documentation for the royal weddings.

Despite appearing healthy, Kadian hadn’t woken up. Magister Thorne advised me, for my own well-being, to take a few days off from visiting him.

I reluctantly consented and harbored guilt for finding pleasure in spending my days with Alvar.

“You realize you’re coming up on six months here,” he said, handing me a bite of sandwich. Despite Tura’s protestations about us bringing food into the library, she relented when Alvar brought some for her as well. “Almost anyone can be persuaded by bacon,” Alvar had said.

“Hard to believe it’s been that long,” I took a bite.

“How are you feeling?” This line of questioning didn't catch me off guard.

Over the past few weeks, we had gotten to know each other quite well.

I learned his favorite color was, to no one’s surprise, red.

His birthday fell on the eighth day of the eleventh month; he had a peculiar fondness for anything with pickles, and despite being terrible, he loved to dance.

He was easy to talk to, and our conversations made the long hours pass in the blink of an eye.

He was kind, even in infuriating situations.

“I’m not sure how I feel about it,” I let out a sigh.

“Why do you think that is?”

I paused for a few moments, “I feel for the past several years of my life that I’ve been wandering through an existence,” my hands began to fidget, “and I haven’t known what my place is in the world.”

“What do you mean?” He leaned in closer to me, inclining his head.

“The last several months have felt like an emotional balancing act. My mind races and teeters between the familiar shores of my life before and the possible waters of the future.”

“Or flames,” cocking an eyebrow at me, a small smile formed on his lips.

“Since arriving here,” I ignored him, “everything I thought I knew has been put to the test in some way. The ground has felt unsteady beneath my feet, and my normal guide posts haven’t been there to help me navigate the way, and as you know,” I found his gaze, “I’m terrible with directions.”

He smiled.

“Even in the midst of this chaos, there is this glimmer of a possibility, a spark. Do you know what it is?”

He shook his head.

“It’s hope,” I sighed, “this little speck of resilience that refuses to be extinguished, that forces me from my bed each morning, pushes me into those unchartered waters. I’ve come to love that spark,” I looked back to my hands, they’d stopped fidgeting.

“Well, I love and fear it.”

“Why would you fear it?”

“Because nothing is permanent,” I said, “as you said, six months have already gone by and soon my time here will be complete. I have no idea if I’ll be asked to join a court, and if I am, which it would be. But for now, there remains a hope that this time will just continue to go on.”

“You will be alright, Brida,” he put his hand on my arm, squeezing lightly.

“That is,” he continued, “if planning this party doesn’t kill us both.”

“Now now,” I chimed in, “it’s a ball, a party makes it sound frivolous,”

He laughed.

“Do you think we’ll be able to finalize everything in the next ten days?” He returned to his lists.

“Do you always worry this much?” I cocked an eyebrow.

“If you need a break, I’m happy to look over the guest list one more time. After I leave here, I’ll put in a word with the Court of Whispers to get the message to everyone.”

“You don’t mind?” He looked exhausted.

“It’s no problem. I’m happy to do it.” I leaned across the table, taking the papers from him before sitting back down.

There were many names on these lists.

It had taken us a week just to come up with who we should invite so as to not incite discord amongst the courts.

“I haven’t seen Asana in days, I can maybe convince her to skip out for a while. Wish me luck,” he said as he reached for the handle of the door, “Brida, it will be how it is supposed to be.” He winked at me, and then he left.

???

I spent the next several hours analyzing names, double-checking, and comparing lists to ensure that no one important was forgotten.

I packed the papers and folders and placed them into the leather satchel the library loaned its guests for transporting their work.

Shadows greeted me as I closed the door to the room.

They’d become friendlier in the past few weeks, to the point I’d often forget that they were slithering along me as I walked.

After careful study, I determined that they were, in fact, hissing, almost as if they were cats who had been frightened or touched in a spot they didn’t approve of.

The library was deserted, not even Tura remained at the front desk.

I decided to leave some of the folders in Alvar’s room.

He had altered the wards a few days ago, allowing me to enter them in the spirit of friendship, he’d told me.

I knew he seldom used these quarters, opting to stay in the royal quarters or Asana’s rooms. His rooms were immaculate.

I’d been fooled into thinking this is how Alvar was when in reality, it was just due to his lack of presence.

Everything in the room was the same as this morning, except for a small red velvet box that sat on the desk.

One peek won’t hurt.

I opened it and saw the most beautiful ruby ring.

The gem itself was imbued with magic as every few moments, shadows danced within.

I breathed and tensed.

“Why are you here, Dainan?” I closed the ring box and placed it back on the desk.

“I’m flattered you knew it was me,” he leaned against the doorframe.

Of course, I knew it was him.

His scent was impossible to ignore.

“I see you don’t need my assistance with getting into this room anymore,” he held me with his gaze.

“Yes, I made sure I wouldn’t need you again,” I said, my voice curt.

I shuddered as his eyes trailed up my body, inspecting every inch of me while stopping to linger on my curves.

Time to go . “You’re blocking the door, and I need to go to dinner,” I said, trying to stay firm.

“To dinner?” He looked surprised.

“Yes, I don’t believe I misspoke,” I stayed where I was.

I didn’t want to risk getting too close.

“Dinner ended hours ago. You didn’t miss much,” he continued, “it was the chef's take on liver this evening.”

Gods. I lost track of time.

"Fine, then I need to go to bed." With determination, I stepped towards him, but he shifted his body, blocking my path. I couldn't decide if it was a clever move or simply irritating.

“Are you going to let me pass?

” I finally asked as he refused to move.

“I’m not stopping you.”

I sighed, “Why are you here, Dainan?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He arched an eyebrow as I stood silently, “I sleep next door,” he tilted his head down the hall.

“Tired of the royal quarters?”

“I haven’t been sleeping there as of late.” His voice was tight, clipped.

“Well, no doubt your betrothed can find you here more easily. It’s nice, you two have so much time together.” I didn’t know why I was saying this.

The connection between my mind and my voice severed yet again.

“Do you think I wanted this engagement? That I asked for it?” He practically spat as he took a step towards me.

“I have no idea what you did or did not ask for, Dainan. I’m tired, and I want to go to bed as I apparently missed a very delicious dinner.”

“Getting feisty, Ilia, ” he smirked.

“Don’t call me that,” the irritation evident in my voice.

“Why not? You seemed to like it the last time I said it to you.”

“Was that when you practically mounted me in a doorway? The same day the entirety of Azmeer and no doubt the continent was informed of your impending marriage.”

You mean absolutely nothing to him; he is trying to make a point.

This is a fucking game to him.

I’m not here for this.

He stiffened, “I didn’t ask for that,” the flames that danced in his eyes were no doubt reflected in mine as my rage bubbled to the surface.

All of the emotions that I’d been holding in for the last several months were rising, a wave ready to crash down upon me.

“Marsh was right, this is a game to you. You treat me as if I’m a prize to be won. What, you would have fucked me in the doorway, and then what, Dainan?” I took a step towards him, refusing to back down.

“Why do you keep seeking me out? Why is it you can’t seem to leave me alone?”

“What did Marsh say to you?” He snarled.

“What does it even matter to you?”

Instantly, he was in front of me.

“What did he say to you, Brida? ” His eyes locked on mine, fire and the shadow mingling once more.

“Like I said,” without moving an inch, “what does it matter to you?” My eyes remained on his.

“He is lying to you,” he hissed.

“I’ve told you, this is no game. Instead, you choose to believe him,” he raised his voice, taking another step closer, “you have no idea what you’re talking about, Brida. But yes, by all means, believe Marsh. ”

He scoffed, “Do you believe him because he’s not in the Court of Shadows? Is that why you deem him to be trustworthy? Because he does not have a shroud of darkness as his constant companion?”

“How could you think that when I chose to be here?” If only he knew of everything I’d done to get here .

Ignoring me, he continued, “To be clear, Brida,” he wasn’t calling me Ilia anymore, “I would not have fucked you in the doorway, as you so eloquently put it.” He took a step closer, we were mere inches apart, I could feel the heat radiating off of him, warming my cooler skin.

Leaning in close, his breath tickled my neck as he whispered, “If this was simply a game, I could have taken you in that bar. Your scent…” His hand found its way into my hair, the other began to caress my face, “was dripping with arousal. You wanted me just as much as I wanted you.” I looked up, the shadows were gone, replaced by the fire dancing in his eyes.

“And if I had tried to take you the last time we spoke, you would have done whatever I asked you to do because you wanted me, Brida. ”

He’s right.

I wanted him then, and I want him now.

I refused to let go of his gaze, not sure if I wanted the moment to end or where we’d go from here.

His voice lowered, “I did not ask for this. I wish you understood that,” he pushed the hair from my eyes.

His touch was gentle.

I saw the pain and anger etched on his face.

He hadn’t asked for this, and I was punishing him for it.

I stood in silence for a few moments longer, “I don’t know what it is you want with me, Dainan,” A sigh escaped me as tears welled in my eyes, months of anguish and despair desperately seeking an escape.

He noticed as he gently cupped my face.

“The day the announcement went out, she warned me to stay away, that you were spoken for.” My voice barely rose above a whisper.

His thumb continued to tenderly caress my cheek, “it wasn’t known to me at the time.”

From the first moment I had seen Dainan, standing atop the gate for the Court of Shadows, something about him had called to me.

I had been lying to myself these past months that there wasn’t some pull towards him.

A tether I didn’t understand.

A tether I refused to release.

Despite the warnings, regardless of why I was here, I could no longer deny it.

I opened my mouth to speak and was interrupted by a growling from my stomach.

Dainan’s expression eased, “seems like we need to feed you,” he reached for my hand.

I felt a jolt as our fingers intertwined.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he pulled me out of the room.

“Getting you food, I thought that was obvious.”

I closed the door behind me and followed as Dainan led me down a hall I didn’t recognize.

Shadows found me on our walk, playfully hissing as they mingled with Dainan’s shadows, I was sure they knew each other.

He looked down and smiled.

“Seems like they have a lot of catching up to do.” I wondered how many had seen him smile, seen the cold exterior draw back to show the man beneath.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked.

“You will just have to wait and see.”

After turning down three more corridors, Dainan pushed open the double doors we stood in front of.

“Shall we see what we can put together?” He said, pulling me inside.

It was a fully functional kitchen, cleaner than any I’d ever seen.

It was reminiscent of the kitchen at my university, save this one was styled in the Court of Shadows.

“ You cook?” I raised an eyebrow, “ you? ”

“I’ve been known to make a dish or two,” he let go of my hand, making his way over to an icebox.

“So,” he looked back at me, “what will it be?”

I was so taken aback that all I could mumble was “surprise me” and he certainly did.

He was a natural cook and seemed so comfortable in the kitchen.

The only times I’d been allowed to cook had been when Dad had been sick, or I’d managed to make it home before him to surprise him with a meal.

I’d never watched anyone with skill cook.

“Who taught you how to cook?” It was mesmerizing to watch how he moved around.

Touching the ingredients, sniffing spices, ensuring they were the ones he wanted to use.

“The only time I have ever been in a kitchen like this was with Kadian. He had insisted we go to a party and he was so drunk that he stumbled into the kitchen thinking it was his room. He came to find me afterwards, dragging me down there to show me the cookies he’d found.” I smiled at the memory.

“You are lucky to have someone like him in your life, Brida. Not everyone is as fortunate.” He moved to find an apron, tying it across his waist. I nearly fainted at the sight.

To distract myself from gaping, I prodded further.

“So who taught you to cook? Or should I be expecting an experimental meal?”

“My mother taught me, pardon my reach,” he leaned around me to grab cloves of garlic that he begun mincing.

I felt blood rush to my cheeks as his arm brushed mine.

“Not that I’ve had much exposure to royalty, well, save for you and your brothers,” Dainan cocked an eyebrow at the word brothers , “but I wouldn’t think many queens know how to cook.”

Dainan let out a chuckle, “She wasn’t always a queen, Ilia. That is not to say that my father did not always love her, but for many years, she…” he paused, “I don’t mean to bore you with stories of her.” He began sautéing the food.

“Please tell me,” I leaned on the counter, “I want to know.” He paused to stare at me mid-slice, “but please pay attention to what you are cutting,” I said as I inclined my head to the cutting board, “despite my best efforts on a few occasions, I have not proven to be a successful nurse. I am happy to tell you what herbs may ease your ailments, but the administration of them leaves something to be desired. Unless it is in the form of tea.”

A low laugh escaped him, wrapping around us like the warmth of the kitchen.

“What’s so funny?” My heart fluttered at the sound of his amusement.

“I am imagining you as my nurse. It wasn’t the outfit that I would have chosen for you, but I wouldn’t object to it either.”

My cheeks warmed at the thought.

“Tell me about your mother.”

“If I’m going to be distracted by telling you a story, then you will have to assist with cooking the meal.” He moved behind me, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his body.

It took every ounce of strength not to lean into him, to allow myself to be overcome by him, his touch, his scent.

The memory of our dancing permeated my senses.

He can smell arousal on you.

Get it together.

“Does that sound like something you can help me with?” he whispered into my ear, and fire ran through my veins, igniting a yearning I had never felt before.

“I can’t make any guarantees for the quality of the meal if you insist on my helping you.” My voice barely managed to escape, a mixture of playful defiance and the desperate hope that he might keep this closeness.

I felt a rumble in his chest as he pressed himself against me, guiding us toward his workspace.

He knew what his presence was doing to me, but I didn’t want him to stop.

“Be sure to do exactly as I say; that way, we can be sure that you won’t hurt yourself. I don’t want to add cleaning blood to the list of activities for the evening.” His hand enveloped mine, guiding it toward the knife with a gentle firmness that sent shivers down my spine.

He did the same for my other hand, leading me to grab an onion and place it on the cutting board.

“My mother,” he began, his voice steady as he adjusted my position, “says that she always loved my father. From everything they both claim, it was love from the moment they met. My mother knew that one day she would be queen, but—” he paused, his breath a whisper against my cheek.

“No, Ilia… Slice like this.” He guided my hand in a smoother motion, and I couldn’t help but grin at the compliment.

“That’s better.”

“Go on, please.” My words felt like an invitation, pulling him deeper into the story as he continued to instruct me.

“Do you know how my parents met?” His cheek brushed against mine, our bodies fitting together as if they were made for this moment.

I could feel the warmth rising in my cheeks as we finished thinly slicing, the intimacy of the task binding us closer.

“Place these in the pan now,” he whispered, the command stirring something thrilling within me.

“There’s a rumor as to how they met,” I said, jumping back when a sudden sizzling from the pan startled me.

“We will have to get you cooking more often if you are going to startle at onions frying in a pan,” he said, folding his arms over his chest, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“I did warn you. Your meal will not turn out as you expect once you get me involved.” He watched me, his gaze a mix of teasing and appreciation, making me feel both vulnerable and exhilarated.

He placed himself behind me again, drawing closer as he gathered the next set of ingredients.

“The rumor you’re referencing is the one where my parents met in a pleasure den in Riccia?”

I nodded, my pulse quickening as I leaned in closer, eager to hear more.

“I’m sure you will be disappointed to know that it is, in fact, incorrect. They met at a coffee house.” I turned to stare at him, surprised.

“Ah, ah,” he corrected me, turning my chin back forward with a gentle hand, forcing me to focus.

“No blood, remember.”

“So they met in a coffee house,” I reminded him, my heart racing at his touch.

He clicked his tongue, the sound both playful and exasperated.

“So impatient.”

He has no idea.

“My parents met in a coffee house in Mazima.”

“In Mazima? But that’s in the North.”

“If you continue to interrupt, Ilia, we will never get to the end of this tale.” I sighed, feeling him laugh behind me, the sound like music to my ears.

A song familiar to my soul.

“My father was on a tour. He made a habit of going into local shops and establishments. You can say terrible things about my father, many of them being true, but he’s a man of the people. He attempts to know them, understand them. It’s why he changed the rules with the Courting, insisting humans be invited to partake; he wanted everyone united.” He paused, placing a cloth in my hand as we patted down fish together, our fingers brushing against each other, sending another thrill through me.

“What was supposed to be a quick stop on his way to—” He leaned in, his breath warm against my ear as if questioning my geography.

“Hesum, the last stop before the Tactras Mountains,” I whispered.

“Very good,” he praised, pressing his cheek to mine once more.

This time, I couldn’t help it; I arched into his touch.

His words, his praise, it would be my undoing.

“My father made his way inside and ordered a coffee. The woman working that day happened to be my mother. What should have been ten minutes at most became the entirety of the day, and lasted long into the night. They spoke of their shared love of the land, of their hopes, their dreams, and that night before closing the shop, my mother granted my father a wish. He said he wished for something as sweet as she was. She presented him with a honey cake that she made from scratch while he told her tales of his travels.”

I turned to stare at him, my gaze falling on his lips as I forced out the words, “And what happened after that?”

He shook his head, realizing he’d disappeared into the story.

“These require salt and pepper.” He stepped back from me, grabbing the spices before seasoning the fish, his movements fluid and confident, almost mesmerizing.

“My father said he fell in love with my mother the same moment he fell in love with her cooking. She knew he was married, but there had been consorts before. She assumed there would be ones after, but there haven’t been. My father brought her along with him on his tour, and in each place, they met with the farmers, the merchants. They tasted the cheese from the goats of Asilda and boarded the boats of the fishermen in the Eridan Sea. In each place, my mother would use local ingredients and cook something new and special for my father.”

The sizzling in the pan was the only thing to distract me from his story.

The fish was nearly cooked, and Dainan moved to the stove, ensuring his dish come together, ensuring no ingredient was missed.

“Despite living in Azmeer, there’s a reason the king is never seen at mealtime, and it is because my mother cooks for him.”

“Even still?” I couldn’t help but smile at that, the thought of a queen in her kitchen bringing a sense of warmth.

Dinner time had always been special between my parents; it seemed this was something we shared.

“Even still.” His eyes held me captive, a weight of understanding passing between us before he gazed back at the pan, preparing to add the finishing touches.

“Cooking is a passion of my mother’s; it’s something she insisted I learn—in case I was ever in a situation where the chef would decide to experiment with liver for the main course.”

I laughed, a light sound that filled the kitchen.

“The queen has incredible foresight.”

Dainan gestured toward a stool in front of the island, “This was one of the first things I learned to make.” The dish looked and smelled incredible.

I sat down, taking a bite, the flavors exploding in my mouth.

“It’s delicious.” The meal surpassed my expectations, offering a level of satisfaction I hadn't realized I was craving. “Thank you for sharing that story with me. I knew when I saw your parents at the Festival for Giaxia that…”

“That?”

“That they truly love each other. The way they stared at each other… It’s rare and beautiful to find someone who can look at you that way. Someone who sees your faults, your cracks, what makes you, what breaks you, and still loves you. Your father may appear weak and ailing to those around him but to her…” I paused, trying to articulate exactly what I felt, the emotion swirling within me. “Your mother watched him as if he was, is, her world. There was no one else for her at that moment. If the rumors exist regarding mates, I would think your parents to be the very definition. We should all be so lucky to find someone like that. Someone who would love us as deeply as she loves him, and he her.”

I’d never spoken this way to anyone, not even Kadian. I lowered my gaze to my plate, embarrassment creeping in at my raw honesty. We ate mostly in silence, even though I could feel him watching me, the weight of his gaze igniting my cheeks. I wanted to say something, but following my grand proclamation, I didn’t know how to broach any subject.

“Have you been reading anything interesting lately?” He finally asked.

Thank the Gods. Shaking my head, I replied, “Not recently. Alvar had me retrieving books for him, but that was before we began planning the…” I stopped myself before forcing myself to ask, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Dainan raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of the wine he’d poured for himself. “Do I want to discuss how I am being forced to marry when all I am interested in is the company in front of me?” He took another sip, his tone deceptively casual, but his grip on the glass and the tension in his voice were unmistakable. “Not particularly.”

Grief and frustration were written across his face. His shadows began to spiral in different directions as if he’d lost control of them. It was as if they were reacting to his emotions, feeding off his turmoil, moving with an unsettling, erratic energy.

Maybe they have a mind of their own? I wondered, watching their dance, a mesmerizing yet disturbing sight, before pulling my focus back to the conversation at hand.

The shadows crept from Dainan, slithering across the island before rising up to meet me. They looked similar to the shadows that I’d come to claim as my own, save his carried his scent. I extended my fingers and they danced between my fingertips.

“I’m sorry,” I found the words escaping me before I had a chance to think it through. I lowered my hand, and found Dainan’s gaze burrowing into me.

“From everything Alvar has told me, I know there is a history of arranged marriages, and I know it isn’t what he would have chosen for you… it isn’t what I would hope for you.” I knew I was treading on dangerous ground. I couldn’t imagine being in his position—trapped by duty, by expectations that didn’t belong to him.

The darkness in Dainan’s eyes stared back at me, pulling me into their frightening depths.

“Thank you,” he whispered, placing the glass down on the countertop with a delicate clink. The shadows receded back towards him, before disappearing entirely. “It’s not what I would have chosen.” His voice was low, tinged with a vulnerability that felt rare, almost forbidden. “She’s not whom I would have chosen.”

Silence stretched between us, an invisible thread being pulled taut, fragile and tense. The weight of his confession hung in the air, and I found myself at a loss for words. I wanted to speak, to tell him that he should make a choice for himself. But I knew what was at stake—what standing in his world meant, what sacrifices came with it.

I stared down at my hand, my knuckles turning white from gripping the edge of the countertop so tightly it hurt, grounding myself in the physical sensation to avoid being swept away by the emotional storm raging inside me. I forced myself to take a breath, slow and deliberate, closing my eyes for a moment to steady the wild pulse of my heart, the darkness behind my eyelids offering momentary solitude.

When I opened my eyes again, Dainan’s gaze hadn’t wavered. He was still watching me, and in that moment, I felt utterly exposed. Yet, I smiled—though I wasn’t sure where it came from. Maybe it was a defense mechanism, or maybe it was the need to diffuse the moment.

“To return to our previous topic,” I said, my voice softer now, but steady, “I do miss reading.” It was a gentle shift, an attempt to pull us both back from the edge of something too raw, too close to unraveling.

Understanding the need to move the conversation elsewhere, Dainan leaned back in his seat, the tension between us easing. “Do you have a favorite novel?” His voice was lighter, but there was a flicker of curiosity in his eyes as he watched me.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, relieved at the change in pace. “It’s hard to pick just one,” I admitted, finding comfort in the familiar subject.

“ The Trials of Thale, ” I smiled, “I reread it every year.”

“ She emerged from the storm with strength in her eyes and fire in her heart and soul,

Her scars whispered of the battles fought and the victories won.

Through the darkest of nights, she clung onto hope like a guiding star.

Like a diamond forged in the depths of the earth, she emerged radiant and unbreakable. ”

Dainan recited.

“You’ve read it.” I said.

“I’m familiar with it,” his eyes shone with triumph.

“I haven’t encountered many people who are. It’s a rare book to come by. We aren’t even sure who authored it, it’s so old. Probably one of the earliest Fae.”

I leaned on the island, continuing to admire the version of Dainan I was seeing for the first time. “Do you believe it predates the Primals? I’ve always found that to be one of the more interesting theories.” I asked as I pushed my plate away. I was stuffed and couldn’t eat another bite. Unless he had a dessert hidden away, and then I would force myself.

“No,” he shook his head, “I think it talks of a specific Primal, but,” he looked at the clock, “that is a story for another time. You must be exhausted.” He rose, grabbed my plate and brought it to the sink.

At the mere mention of it, fatigue overwhelmed me. “I should help you clean up,” I stood and began walking towards him.

His hands found mine, “no,” he stopped me, “you need rest, Ilia, ” he caressed my face.“I can take you back to your room,” he said.

“Do you have to?” His pained expression told me everything. The night would end here.

His smile was meek, saddened. Perhaps if we had met in a different time, a different place, a different life.

“Take a breath,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around me.

I opened my eyes to find us standing outside of my room, the hallway empty, Dainan still embracing me. We stood in silence. The shared rhythm of our breaths filling the space between us, neither of us making a move to break the stillness.

He lifted his hand, brushing the hair from my face.

“Thank you,” I said to him in a tone that was so low I wasn’t sure he could hear me.

“What for?” He sounded unsure as his eyes held me. It looked as if he was trying to etch every line of my face into his memory, as if he were gazing upon me for the last time.

“Tonight,” I brought his hand and placed it over my heart, holding it to me for a moment. I moved to the tips of my toes and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “Goodnight, Dainan.”

That night, I stood on the balcony longer than usual. Lost in my thoughts and the comfort of the evening breeze.