Page 13

Chapter

Twelve

“I’m sure you’ve all been enjoying yourselves these past few weeks,” Illerium’s voice grated against the thick tension in the room, his words heavy with a kind of bitterness that seemed to press down on the air itself.

He shuffled to the podium, his figure hunched like the weight of the centuries he spoke of was pressing down on his bones, his entire demeanor exhausted.

The slight smirk that flickered across his lips didn’t match the resentment in his voice.

“From what I’ve heard, some of you have garnered attention—though not always for the right reasons.”

His sharp gaze locked onto a boy seated a few rows ahead.

I recognized him as the poor kid who’d fallen off the rock wall before, struggling to make it halfway up before he crashed to the ground.

My heart twinged with secondhand embarrassment for him, remembering the awkward thud when he hit the ground.

The boy’s face flushed red under Illerium’s scrutiny, his head ducking lower as if to hide from the weight of the room’s collective gaze.

Illerium’s voice droned on, detailing the values of the Courts—the need for strength, stamina, and physical prowess.

His eyes swept over us, intense and expectant, like he demanded full attention from everyone.

“You might wonder why you must endure such displays—why we value strength over wit, your bodies over your minds, when in reality, we should be seeking the sharpness of intellect, your skill, your cunning.”

A timid voice broke the tension, a girl from the second row; her hand half-raised as if unsure if she should even speak.

“Do you mean war, sir?”

Illerium scoffed, rolling his eyes with the disdain of someone who thought the question was beneath him.

“What else would I mean?” he snapped, his irritation crackling through the room like a whip.

Kadian leaned over, his breath warm on my ear as he whispered, “He isn’t suited for this, is he?” I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing, imagining Illerium losing his cool at even the slightest provocation.

His face was already turning an alarming shade of red.

Illerium launched into a tirade about past wars—the violent rise of Elidas, the tyrant Kavriel, and the bloody battles that had carved the history of the Courts.

His words painted a grim picture of a world where intellect alone wouldn’t save us on the battlefield.

But as he spoke, I found my mind drifting, wondering about his past. Had he fought in those wars?

Had time and the weight of history worn him down, made him bitter and frayed around the edges?

Snapping his fingers, a stack of papers materialized before each of us.

“Your task is to fill out this questionnaire. You will share this with the group, and we will compare your answers with the correct ones. You have thirty minutes. Begin.”

I stared at the paper, trying to focus on the task at hand, but my thoughts kept slipping away—drifting back to my father and the research I’d been doing.

In the past few weeks, I had spent hours poring over ancient tomes, chasing any lead, no matter how faint, that might ease his suffering.

One plant in particular had captured my attention— Larrea tridentata .

It wasn’t much to look at, a resilient shrub with yellow flowers, but its healing properties were renowned.

It was said to soothe skin ailments, reduce inflammation, and ease pain.

A small part of me clung to the hope that it could help, that somewhere in Azmeer’s gardens, this plant could offer some relief for him.

I forced myself to focus, trying to push the worries about my father to the back of my mind.

The past three weeks had been a blur of training, studying, and grappling with my fears.

Every morning, I ran with Marsh—something that had become the one part of the day I looked forward to.

Despite its absurdity, Kadian had spent the first week lingering at the edge of the track, watching.

He never made a big deal of it, always pretending to be there “just in case” or “just watching” but I knew better.

This was his way—quietly protective, always keeping an eye on me without making it obvious.

On the tenth day, he finally left me to it, giving me the space he knew I needed.

On our runs, I learned that Marsh was an only child like me.

But unlike me, he had been in Azmeer for over a century, working with Illerium.

It boggled my mind every time I thought about it.

He didn’t look a day over twenty-five, yet he spoke of things long before I was born.

And in those weeks of running together, his easygoing nature had become a comfort, a strange anchor in this place that still felt foreign.

Evenings were spent at the gym with Emia, sometimes with Lil, pushing my body in ways I hadn’t thought possible.

Slow and painful, but I was beginning to master my fear of heights.

Marsh had offered advice, telling me of his experiences with the Zenith.

Kadian, too, was my constant source of encouragement; his pep talks somehow made the impossible seem…

bearable.

Oz and Tamra, Oz’s twin sister, had been more present as well, their quiet support helping in ways I hadn’t expected.

Oz had taken to meeting me at my door each morning, telling me stories of what it was like to grow up Fae as we made our way to breakfast.

“Here,” Oz said, handing me a small jar.

I turned it over in my hands, curious.

“What’s this?”

“Jam,” he replied, grinning.

“Wolfberry, specifically. It’s the best flavor.”

I raised an eyebrow, holding the jar up to my face for a closer look.

“What exactly is it...?”

Oz turned toward me, his expression one of exaggerated disbelief.

“Are you telling me you don’t know what jam is?” He set his plate down and approached, resting his hands on my shoulders.

“Oh, sweet Brida. What kind of sheltered life have you been living that you’ve never had wolfberry jam—or any jam, for that matter?”

Before I could respond, he pulled me into a warm, overdone hug.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered with mock solemnity.

“We’ll get you sorted. Just remember—wolfberry is the best flavor.”

The next half hour was filled with playful debate between Oz, who insisted I could eat the jam straight from the jar, and Lil, who insisted it had to go on toast. Eventually, I tried it both ways and instantly, wolfberry jam became my new favorite thing.

Its rich, sweet-tart taste melted across my tongue like a revelation.

From that morning on, Lil or Oz always ensured a jar was waiting for me.

In between discovering all the varieties of jam Oz had encountered in his travels, I learned more about him, too.

His family wasn’t so different from mine—marked by loss, with his grandmother having passed just a few years ago, despite living for nearly two thousand years.

Oz had seen much of the continent, accompanying his father on journeys for the Eternal Court, his stories carrying the quiet weight of their histories.

“It’s not just that my family are members, the Eternal Court is my top choice,” he would tell me.

I hoped it would come to pass.

With every free second I had, I tried to see Addie, even if it was just fleeting moments between training and studying.

On the days when I couldn’t find her, I buried myself in the library, scouring every book I could find on Azmeer’s plants and remedies, anything that might help my father.

Every day was a race against time, and I could feel the urgency building in my chest, a constant pressure I couldn’t shake.

Illerium’s voice snapped me back to the present, my eyes refocusing on the questionnaire in front of me.

There was no time to dwell on what-ifs.

I had to keep going—had to keep trying.

For my father. For me.

???

“I think I’m going to go stir-crazy if they don’t let us out of this fortress soon,” Lil muttered, rifling through the clothes in my closet.

Emia sat cross-legged on the bed, her soft smile a quiet contrast to Lil’s frenetic energy.

The Fae girl’s brown hair streaked with gold caught the light, a reminder of the first time I saw her during the feast on our first evening.

She’d been so reserved then, but she had slowly begun to open up over the past weeks.

She was shy but kind, and something about her reminded me of myself.

“You know, I heard there’s a place in the Vameer district,” Lil continued, pulling out a green dress and holding it up to the light.

“Supposed to be the best spot for drinks, music, and dancing. We’re going when they finally let us out.”

I raised an eyebrow, amused by her enthusiasm.

“And who exactly told you this?”

“Iona, that redhead from the first night. Well, I overheard her,” Lil admitted, placing the dress on the bed beside Emia.

I knew Iona. The look of disdain she gave me after our first trial had never faded, lingering between us despite the fact that we’d never exchanged a single word.

It was as if my very presence offended her, and yet, neither of us moved to bridge the silence.

“Her family lives here, so she knows all the good spots.”

Emia looked up, her eyes bright with interest. “I’d love to go out. It’s been so long since I’ve been in Azmeer. I barely remember the city.”

“Well then, it’s settled,” Lil declared, twirling around with a flourish.

“As soon as they give us the okay, we’re going. And you, Brida, are wearing this dress. No arguments.”

I laughed, shaking my head.

“If you insist.”

The banter flowed easily between the three of us, the camaraderie almost startling in its suddenness.

A few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have imagined having friends here—real friends who made this whole experience feel a little less overwhelming.

It was odd, like finding something you didn’t know you needed.

As the evening crept on, we sat on the bed and talked for hours, losing track of time.

Lil, of course, was in her element, spinning tales and jokes with reckless abandon; I don’t think I’d known her to be quiet for more than a few seconds.

Emia chimed in now and then, her soft voice weaving its way into the conversation.

“I’m telling you,” Lil said, standing up to stretch, “Illerium is going to drop dead of boredom. It’s only a matter of time.” She opened the door, ready to head back to her room, when she froze.

Her gaze locked onto something down the hall.

Following her line of sight, I spotted Kadian cornered by one of the girls, Shay.

She’d been eyeing him at the gym, and judging by the way she had him almost pinned to the wall, she’d decided to make her move.

Kadian’s eyes flicked towards us, and the moment he saw Lil’s expression, he extricated himself from Shay’s grasp.

“Missed you tonight,” I called out to him with a grin.

“I’m going to take off. Night!” Emia said, excusing herself from whatever was about to unfold.

His face was tight, tension radiating off him.

“Yeah, well, I was preoccupied.” His gaze shifted back to Lil, who had gone rigid, her smile replaced by a predatory stare.

A smile crept onto his face but didn’t reach his eyes.

“Did you guys hear?” he asked, his attention still fixed on Lil.

“We aren’t allowed out for the month. They’re preparing for the Festival of Giaxia.”

Lil’s breath caught, her expression flickering with something close to panic.

“But,” he continued, as if sensing her distress, “they’ve already said we’ll be allowed out after the festival. Just a bit longer to wait.”

Lil relaxed, snapping out of her trance.

“Well, looks like you made someone’s night,” I teased.

“Who told you this?”

“Marsh sent notice on the wind to the dining hall, wondered if he had sent it here as well,” Kadian replied as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Of course he did,” I muttered, shaking my head.

The Fae’s abilities still caught me off guard sometimes, even after these weeks of witnessing them.

Wind Walkers appearing out of nowhere, the odd member of the Court of Shadows melting into darkness—Azmeer was a place of wonders, and every day, there was something new to marvel at.

“It was so weird the first time I heard it,” Lil admitted, “but they use it all the time here. It’s how we got our wake-up calls.”

“Yeah, it scared the shit out of me too,” Kadian said.

“But I guess we better get used to it.”

I patted them both on the arm and said my goodnights.

Whatever had happened between Kadian and Lil, they could figure it out on their own.

I wasn’t about to get in the middle of it.

Closing my door behind me, I began to undress as I made my way to the bathing chamber.

The wooden shutters that covered my window were slightly open.

The breeze felt incredible.

Even though the air was warm, I treated myself to a scalding hot bath.

I lowered myself into the steaming water, not realizing how much my muscles had been aching until my legs were submerged.

My mind wandered as the pains and aches began to relieve themselves.

Allowing me to fall into a deeper state of relaxation as time passed.

My eyelids grew heavier as my fatigue won out.

I was just on the precipice of sleep when I felt a slight tingling sensation on my neck that nestled just below my ear.

“Brida,” a voice whispered.

My eyes snapped open, and I scanned the room in a panic.

The air around me felt charged, like a secret waiting to be shared.

My breath caught in my throat as a voice, soft and intimate, brushed against my ear, the kind of whisper that sends shivers down your spine.

I sat up straighter, the breeze teasing my cheek from the open shutters, drawing me into a game I hadn’t anticipated playing.

“It can be strange the first time you hear it,” the voice murmured, amusement lacing the words.

“Don’t worry, it can’t hurt you.”

This has to be some kind of wind whispering—different from the vague, impersonal message Kadian had mentioned.

This felt personal as if someone was leaning in close, their breath tickling the edge of my ear.

I hesitated, unsure how to respond, and the silence stretched, my heart pounding in the quiet.

The voice coaxed me, “Just speak. It will carry it back to me.” It was muffled, but it was familiar, with a playful edge.

“Do you plan on going for a run this evening?”

The way the air caressed my ear sent a warm flutter through me, like a secret touch in a crowded room.

I cleared my throat, suddenly hyper-aware of the water lapping around me.

“Uh…” was all I managed before another chuckle echoed in my mind.

“Can you hear me?” I asked, my eyes scanning the room for any sign of the source, half-expecting to see someone materialize.

“Not typically, but I made sure you could answer back,” the voice cooed, closer now, almost too close.

I sank lower into the water, my cheeks flushing despite myself.

“You…you can’t see me, can you?” I hated how hopeful I sounded, praying that the answer was no.

The laugh deepened, teasing.

“No. Only a few in the Court of Reflection can do that, and even then, it’s rare.”

I nodded to myself, trying to calm my racing thoughts.

“You didn’t answer me. Do you plan on going to the gym this evening?”

Emia and I had frequented the gym most nights, working on each trial as best I could.

The limited time we had in the morning wouldn’t be enough if I were to make it to the next round.

I was getting better, but I still hadn’t made it through the Zenith.

I shook my head, trying to focus.

“No, I was just about to fall asleep.” It wasn’t true; sleep felt a million miles away now.

“That's a shame,” the voice whispered, like a breath against my skin as I stood and wrapped a towel around myself. “I could help you practice.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” I replied, feeling the pull of his words as I dressed. “But I need to save my energy for the daylight hours when court officials are watching. As much fun as it might be, I’ll have to pass tonight.”

“If you change your mind, I’ll be here for the next hour.”

I slipped into bed, the voice lingering in the air, a tempting echo in the quiet. “Goodnight,” I whispered, and a final chuckle filled the room.