Page 12
Chapter
Eleven
Illerium’s voice was a monotonous hum that penetrated my thoughts.
I couldn’t tell if it was fatigue or if the Magister loathed his position, but he possessed a tendency to fade mid-sentence, much to Kadian’s amusement.
I struggled to focus, my mind flitting between the gnawing anxiety of what tomorrow might bring and the rising dread that someone might pierce through the cracks in my facade.
We weren’t even headed toward the other House entrances; instead, Illerium guided us to the gym and sparring area, noting our training would begin in the morning.
My stomach twisted at the thought.
I had seen the others—muscles taut beneath their clothes, their confident strides radiating the certainty of those who knew they belonged.
The Eternal Court would take one look at me tomorrow and scoff, dismissing me as an interloper in their world.
“We knew this was coming,” Kadian tried to reassure me over dinner, but his voice was drowned out by the laughter and chatter of the other candidates.
“Not exactly looking forward to it,” I muttered, my voice low.
My eyes drifted around the room, taking in the broad shoulders and confident smiles.
They were ready. Me?
I wasn’t so sure.
Kadian leaned closer.
“It’s not just about strength or speed. You’ve got more going for you than you think.”
Oz, who had been quiet while eating across from us, watching a few girls who sat further down the table, piped up, “My dad said the same thing when he first started. Useless at the physical stuff, but with training, he found his footing. You never know.”
I forced a smile, but my gaze slipped past Oz to Lil.
She was watching me with that knowing look in her eyes, the one that said she was about to say something I wouldn’t like.
“Well,” she began, a smirk playing on her lips, “no matter how you do, Marsh will definitely be paying attention.”
I could feel the heat rising from my neck to my cheeks.
“I shouldn’t have told you he came to get me,” I said, focusing hard on my plate.
“Too late now,” Lil teased, nudging me with her elbow.
“But really, Brida, you’re going to kick ass tomorrow, and you know it.”
Kadian chuckled beside me, his laughter light and teasing, but I could barely muster a response.
The room felt too loud, too bright.
I just wanted to get through tomorrow without making a fool of myself.
“Can we talk about something else, please?” I asked, desperate to change the subject.
Kadian sighed, but his smile softened.
“How’s Addie?”
Gratitude surged through me, and I latched onto the lifeline.
“She’s great. Looks just the same as the last time I saw her.”
“Who’s Addie?” Oz asked, curiosity in his tone.
“Only Brida’s favorite person,” Kadian answered before I could, a grin spreading across his face.
“Except me, of course.”
I couldn’t help but smile.
“He’s not lying. Addie’s my aunt. She’s a scribe here in Azmeer.”
“I thought your family didn’t have any ties to Azmeer?” Lil’s question hung in the air.
“She’s more of a freelancer,” I replied, keeping my tone light.
“Started working here a few months ago on a project for the royal archives. They liked her work and offered her a job.”
The conversation drifted into lighter topics, but my mind stayed on edge.
I didn’t mention Dainan.
Didn’t bring up the library or the strange tension between Marsh and him.
What was there to say, anyway?
He was in the library, he wanted a book.
Where does one go to get a book?
The library.
As we made our way back to our rooms, I watched Lil and Kadian walking close together, their laughter bouncing off the corridor walls.
Kadian had been in plenty of relationships during our university years, but they were always fleeting—none of them ever made him smile the way Lil did.
Looking at him now, it struck me how many women had thought flirting alone would be enough to win him over.
But to truly know him, to have him, you had to make him laugh.
A soft smile tugged at my lips as I thought about it.
They’re in for an interesting year.
Oz said his goodbyes first, slapping Kadian on the shoulder, then pulled Lil and me in for an embrace before heading to his room.
Lil followed soon after, her eyes lingering on Kadian.
As she disappeared into her room, Kadian’s shoulders slumped, and he shook his head.
“Someone’s in trouble,” I teased, trying to push aside my worries.
He laughed, but it sounded a bit forced.
“Tell me about it.”
Kadian wrapped an arm around my shoulder, guiding me to my room.
“Try not to get too caught up in your head tomorrow, okay? It won’t be as bad as you think.”
But I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” I asked, unable to keep the fear from creeping into my tone.
“No,” he admitted, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
“But I don’t want you to worry.”
After we parted ways, I made a beeline for the bath, hoping the warm water would calm my nerves.
But even as the jasmine and vanilla-scented steam curled around me, my thoughts refused to settle.
Dainan, Addie, Marsh, the Eternal House—they all spun around in my mind, refusing to let me rest.
By the time I crawled into bed, my skin wrinkled from the bath, I felt no closer to peace.
I love this bed, I thought as I pulled up the covers, but even that comfort couldn’t stop the faint smell of smoke from seeping into my dreams.
???
“Attention, inductees,” Illerium announced.
“In six weeks, the next trial begins—a decisive elimination round. One hundred of you will be sent home. Each Court will present a challenge, a reflection of its domain.”
The room seemed to hold its breath as he continued.
“The Eternal Court’s challenge will test your strength against a formidable rock wall. The Court of Reflection will immerse you in a pool where truth and perception become indistinguishable. The Court of Shadows will challenge your mind with a riddle. And for the Court of Whispers, you will face a treacherous course high above the ground, where the wind is your adversary. Your time on each trial will be added together. Only those with the best overall time will continue in Azmeer. However,” his eyes glinted, “finish one trial with the fastest time, and you’ll secure your spot in the next round.”
Illerium’s gaze swept over the room, unreadable, before he added, “The details will come in due time. For now, prepare. Perseverance, adaptability, and a sharp mind are your best tools.”
Illerium’s announcement had barely settled amongst the crowd before I felt the dread begin to rise.
Six weeks to prepare for the trials.
I should have felt relieved—it was time to train, to strategize—but all I could think about was that one trial.
The Court of Whispers.
I hated heights. My knees buckled just thinking about it.
Around me, the gymnasium hummed with excitement and tension.
Emia’s arm brushed against mine, her bright eyes wide with anticipation.
“I’m going to the pool,” she said, bouncing on her toes.
“You coming?”
The pool—the Court of Reflection’s trial.
Calm, serene water. No wind, no dizzying drops.
My mind screamed for me to follow her, to avoid the trial that haunted me, but my heart knew the truth.
If I didn’t face this fear, none of the other trials would matter.
I shook my head, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes.
“No, I’m heading to the ladders. I need to work on the heights.”
Her smile faltered for a moment, but she nodded in understanding.
“Good luck. If anyone can conquer those heights, it’s you.”
I wished I believed her.
I glanced over at Kadian, who shot me a wink, before gathering his things to head toward the rock wall with Lil and Oz—the Eternal Court’s trial.
The one I should’ve been starting with.
I could already picture Kadian scaling it with ease, the others cheering him on.
A pang of guilt hit me.
I should be with them, but no.
This was something I had to do alone.
It was better this way.
No one to see me fail.
No one to watch as I faltered or froze.
As I made my way to the trial area, my heart pounded, my palms already clammy despite the cool air.
The chalcedony ladders loomed in the distance, rising like skeletal fingers grasping for the sky.
I paused at the base of the first ladder, staring up at it.
The wind whistled through the gaps between the rungs, tugging at my clothes and sending my hair whipping around my face.
It felt alive, a force determined to push me back.
My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment, I couldn’t move.
I can’t do this.
Illerium’s words echoed in my mind—one hundred of us would be sent home.
The thought made my stomach lurch.
If I didn’t master this trial, I might be one of them.
And my father—What would become of him if I couldn’t secure the resources Azmeer promised?
I gripped the rung of the ladder, the smooth stone cold against my hands.
I had to do this. There was no other option.
The climb was harder than I’d imagined.
The wind howled in my ears, a constant, brutal reminder of how high I was climbing.
My hands, already sore from gripping the rungs too tightly, began to throb with each pull.
My feet slipped more than once, my boots struggling to find purchase on the slick, narrow rungs.
The higher I went, the worse it got.
I looked down once, just once, and regretted it.
The ground below was nothing more than a blur of brown and gray, the trees looking like tiny specks of dust, and the people—there were no people.
Just emptiness. The world stretched out beneath me like a vast, indifferent void, and I was dangling over it, entirely at its mercy.
My head swam. I swallowed hard, trying to force down the nausea creeping up my throat.
My breath came in ragged gasps, the cold air stinging my lungs.
Each time I inhaled, it felt like knives cutting through my chest, sharp and unrelenting.
I wanted to stop, to retreat, but the thought of failure was worse than the fear itself.
After what felt like an eternity, I reached the top.
My legs wobbled as I stepped onto the platform, the wind slapping me across the face, almost as if it were mocking me for making it this far.
I staggered forward, trying to steady myself, but the sight of the rope bridges ahead made my stomach drop all over again.
Eight houses, as if supported by the air itself, awaited me.
Connected by treacherous rope bridges, each one swaying in the wind.
From this height, I could see the chipped purple paint with sharp detail, the faded hue clinging to the wooden slats in uneven patches.
How had they survived the relentless gales?
The thatched roofs, somehow still intact, seemed like they were holding their breath, waiting for the wind to tear them apart.
I took a step toward the first bridge.
It groaned under my weight, the ropes creaking as if warning me to turn back.
I gripped the sides, my knuckles white, and forced myself to move.
My ears ached from the cold, the high-altitude wind cutting through me like shards of ice.
I could barely see; my eyes stung from the wind, making them water.
Every step was a battle, each gust threatening to rip me from the bridge and toss me into the abyss below.
I focused on the first house.
The door was ajar, and I pushed it open with trembling hands.
Inside, the air was still, the walls bare save for a single parchment lying on a wooden table.
I picked it up, squinting at the strange symbol drawn in dark ink—a twisting, jagged shape that looked almost like a broken spiral.
It was light, almost weightless, and the parchment felt rough against my fingertips like it had been left out in the wind for too long.
I tucked it into my pocket and stepped back out onto the bridge, my legs shaking as I made my way to the second house.
The wind was worse now, screaming in my ears, and my cheeks burned from the cold.
My fingers were numb, stiff, and uncooperative as I tried to grip the ropes.
The second house was colder, the wind seeping through the cracks in the walls.
The room was empty, save for another piece of parchment on the floor.
This one had a different symbol—sharp, angular lines crossing in a star-like pattern.
My fingers fumbled as I reached for it, the cold making it hard to hold onto anything.
The parchment slipped from my grasp, and I had to chase it across the floor, the wind howling through the open door.
I stumbled back out, fighting the urge to cry as the panic surged in my chest. I had only made it a quarter through, and already, the wind was breaking me down, picking at my resolve with every gust. The next bridge stretched ahead of me, swaying violently.
I could scarcely make out the third house, the wind and cold blurring my vision.
But as I crossed the bridge, the world tilted beneath my feet.
My knees buckled, and I clung to the ropes, my breath coming in shallow, painful gasps.
I couldn’t focus. Couldn’t breathe.
The panic was taking over, pulling me down.
I had to turn back.
I forced myself to retreat, step by agonizing step, back across the bridges and down the ladder.
My body was shaking, my hands raw and blistered.
By the time I reached the ground, my legs ached, struggling to keep me up.
Marsh was there, his familiar smirk in place as he caught me by the elbow.
“Not bad,” he said, his voice annoyingly cheerful.
“It takes a few tries. Twenty, in my case.”
I gave him a weak smile, my legs trembling beneath me.
“Twenty times?” I echoed, my voice hoarse.
“Yeah,” he shrugged, “It’s a nasty one. But you’ll get it, trust me. Just keep at it.”
Despite myself, I blurted, “Is there a reason you keep being so nice to me?”
The words slipped out before I could stop them, my tone more vulnerable than I intended.
Marsh didn’t seem fazed, though.
He casually slipped his hands into his pockets, the deep purple of his suit catching the light as it fluttered around him like a storm about to descend.
That suit—he wore it as effortlessly as he wore his smile.
It was hard to figure him out.
“Would you prefer me not to be?” he asked, his gaze soft but probing.
I hesitated, tucking my hair behind my ears as if that simple motion could mask the sudden unease building in me.
“I’m just not used to strangers being so kind,” I admitted, the words tasting strange as they left my mouth.
Marsh’s eyes flickered with something, but it was too quick to catch.
“Not everywhere is Escalia, Brida,” he said, his voice laced with something deeper, something knowing.
“Seems like it was a good thing you got an invitation to a place where you belong.”
His remark hit me harder than I expected.
A place where I belong .
The words sank into me, filling all the spaces I tried to keep hidden—the places where doubt festered, where fear of being discovered gnawed at me, constantly threatening to undo everything.
But underneath that fear, beneath all my defenses, there was a whisper of something I hadn’t let myself feel in a long time.
Hope.
Despite everything—despite the lies I’d told, the weight of my father’s illness, the constant dread that I wasn’t good enough to survive here—Azmeer had been the first place where people looked at me without judgment.
The first place where strangers spoke to me with kindness, without assuming I didn’t belong.
For so long, I had fought to blend into the backdrop of Escalia, to go unnoticed.
But maybe Marsh was right.
Maybe here, I didn’t have to be invisible.
“Thanks, Marsh,” I said, my voice softer.
I took a step toward him, feeling a strange pull as though he had chipped away at some of the walls I’d built.
“You know, I come for a run in the evenings, and I plan on starting in the mornings too… Going to need to if I have any chance at surviving this next round.”
He smiled then, a genuine smile that lit up his face in a way that made something flutter in my chest. “Running is good. Keeps you quick.”
“Yes, but…” I hesitated, feeling my palms grow damp.
“You know,” I said, “I’ve found it’s a much more enjoyable activity when I have a partner.”
Marsh raised an eyebrow, his smirk returning, though softer this time.
“Is that so?”
“It is,” I nodded, trying to keep my voice steady despite the sudden wave of nervousness washing over me.
I wasn’t sure where this courage was coming from, but the words were out now, and there was no taking them back.
He studied me for a moment, his eyes searching mine as if trying to read the layers beneath my words.
Then, he smiled again, a warm, almost mischievous grin.
“Well, it’s a good thing I just happen to love running, then, isn’t it?”
I felt my heart skip, a mix of relief and excitement swirling inside me.
I hadn’t expected this—hadn’t expected him to be so…
open. He gestured toward the building, and without another word, we walked side by side, the wind still cold but less biting, the weight of my earlier fear somehow lighter.
We made our way back inside, where we were greeted to an unexpected silence.
My gaze fell on the center of the room, where a circle had formed, and within it, Princes Dainan and Rai were engaged in a fierce sparring match.
“What’s going on?” I whispered, curiosity piqued.
Lil gestured us over, her eyes fixed on the mat.
“Started about fifteen minutes ago. They do this regularly—sometimes Alvar joins too, but not today.” She pointed to the side where Asana and Alvar stood, watching with evident amusement.
“Who’s better?” I asked.
“Dainan,” Marsh replied in a hushed voice.
It was impossible not to be captivated.
The brothers moved with a deadly grace, their strikes and counters fluid and precise.
Their bare chests glistened with sweat, every muscle taut and defined.
It was a display of skill and power that was both mesmerizing and intimidating.
I glanced up at Marsh, noticing his similar build to the princes.
He had a confidence about him, one that made me feel more at ease despite the chaotic scene before us.
“Dainan likes to take them down and pin them there,” Marsh murmured, leaning closer.
“He’s a strong fighter.”
The room seemed to hold its breath as the brothers circled each other.
Dainan made a move that took him to the far side of the mat.
I caught his eyes, and for a fleeting moment, it felt like he was looking straight at me.
Rai took advantage, lunging at Dainan and pinning him to the floor.
The sudden shift in the fight brought a cheer from Alvar and Asana, and soon, the entire gym erupted in applause.
“Well,” Lil said with an unsatisfied nod, “that’s that.”
“Why the celebration?” I asked Marsh, who wore a smug smile.
“Dainan hasn’t lost in a very long time,” Marsh said, his tone hinting at admiration.
On the mat, Rai extended a hand to Dainan, who took it reluctantly.
Dainan’s gaze flickered between Marsh and me as he placed a hand to his chest, catching his breath.
Before I could blink, he vanished in a swirl of shadow.
Table of Contents
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- Page 12 (Reading here)
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