Page 23

Chapter

Twenty-Two

After informing Kadian, Oz, and Lil that the festival would be taking place, I decided to return the records to Addie.

I no longer needed them, and now I could only hope that my offering had been accepted.

Dainan. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but each time he approached, it did something to me.

It felt like fire in my veins that I couldn't extinguish. As much as I heard Lil’s voice in my head, keep a safe distance , I found myself unable to walk away.

As I made my way to the library, it was evident that the mayhem within Azmeer had only increased. Inductees, desperate and frantic, were scrambling to come up with last-minute offerings, resorting to bribery and pleading for information.

Kadian, Lil, Oz, and I had decided to keep our gifts a secret from each other, a game of sorts and one that I was more than happy to play. We hadn't discussed the possibility of any offerings being rejected.

Despite my offers to assist and share the records list, they insisted on maintaining the solitary nature of the task in the spirit of competition.

I feared any of us being sent home, but I maintained hope that we’d all be here come morning.

The library offered a serene quietude, a welcomed sanctuary amidst the chaos.

“What brings you here today?” Addie greeted me as I approached her desk.

I lifted the folder and pointed to it.

“Ah, did it give you any ideas?”

“It did,” I said while pulling the papers from the folder and handing them to her.

“Thank you, I think I may still stand a chance.”

“And is that something you really want?” She asked while taking the paper from me and placing it on the side of her desk.

“Yes.” I paused. As fearful as I’d been when I’d arrived, not only at the prospect of being discovered but by the sheer size of Azmeer itself, I found myself desiring to be selected by a court.

What had begun as a quest solely focused on my father had become something I was now striving for, for me.

Marsh was right. Being here presents an opportunity to change things, and I could.

Addie smiled, “Just making sure. There’s nothing wrong with changing your mind.” She placed a hand on mine as her eyes returned to a list.

“Did you know anyone in Hadash?”

Her response came with a slow nod, her gaze distant.

“I worked with a man named Kadrata from Hadash. He helped get me this posting.” She lifted her head just slightly, meeting my eyes.

A flicker of sadness passed through her expression, a subtle shift in her carefully controlled demeanor.

I knew Addie was reigning it in, keeping that tight grip on her emotions, just like she always did.

She hadn’t cried when Mom died.

Even then, I’d understood it wasn’t because she didn’t care.

Addie’s way of dealing with loss was to lock everything inside, fortify her walls so nothing could slip through.

I admired her for it in a strange way, even though it left me wondering how much pain she carried behind that stoic mask.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, the words inadequate but necessary.

She met my gaze, and there was something fragile beneath her calm exterior, though it remained buried.

“Me too.”

The heaviness of her simple reply hung in the air, thickening the quiet between us.

I felt the urge to lift the mood, to ease us both out of the melancholic depths we were skirting.

I cleared my throat, forcing a lighter tone into my voice.

“Hey, have you heard this theory that there were more than four Primals?”

Her eyebrow quirked slightly.

I knew Addie well enough to understand that humor wasn’t her way of coping, but distraction?

That, she would entertain.

“That’s an odd thing to remark on,” she stood straighter.

“Marsh mentioned something about Giaxia forsaking her mating bond, which, who knew, and that there was a war with other Primals. It’s a wild story.”

She smiled at the mentioning of Marsh’s name, “Like something from your The Trials of Thale. ”

Of course, she remembered.

Addie was the one who’d suggested the book to my father.

“ Remember that life will always throw trials your way. You’re strong enough to tackle them head on. Never forget how capable you are and who you are inside. ” I’ve reread that note inside the cover more times than I could count.

“We know very little about the Primals,” Addie began, her tone thoughtful.

“Some even doubt they ever existed.” She leaned toward that belief, aligning with the growing Primal Dissent movement—a philosophical school of thought that had gained traction in academic circles over the years.

With no recorded sightings of the Primals for millennia, these theories were seen as plausible by many, particularly among humans.

My stance on the matter remained conflicted.

Since arriving in Azmeer and witnessing magic firsthand, my relationship with the Primals had only grown more complex.

And then, there was the Pool of Vitality.

My memory of the pool, its surface resembling a canvas of night adorned with twinkling stars, was etched into my mind, likely to stay with me for the rest of my life.

Such breathtaking beauty seemed almost too divine for mortal eyes to behold.

I wonder if the Eternal House, or Giaxia if she exists, will know what it is I truly offered.

The water had been so diluted with blood that it might be too difficult to discern its true nature.

I shook my head, snapping back to the present moment.

“Do you not believe that Giaxia and Ollo were mates?” I leaned on the desk, giving her a wry smirk.

Addie's stance on relationships and love remained crystal clear, “a waste of time,” she’d often declare with a grin. “Who needs all that when you could be happily married to your work?”

Her words carried a playful undertone of sarcasm, and as she glanced up at me with that mischievous grin, I found myself unable to stop laughing. She looked down at her watch and organized the papers on her desk, “It’s time for us to make our way to the throne room.”

Addie wrapped her arm around me as we made our way from the library. “Now let us speak on the importance of education rather than the tradition of marriage.”

???

I’d never been to this part of the palace before. Addie informed me during our walk that the use of the throne room was reserved for issuing royal decrees, Primal holidays, and promotions. As no new decrees had been issued nor promotions given in the last few years, this was a rare occasion. I didn’t know what to expect. I remembered Lil’s comments about it being ostentatious. Of course, that was not how she’d said it, “ it looks fucking horrendous. I’d never want to sit on that thing, ” had been her exact words.

“ I bet I know what she does want to sit on, ” Oz had whispered to me, his smile wicked as I smacked him.

The framed doorway to the throne room had been lined with guards, each wearing their Court of Shadows leathers, distinguishable by the red threading and embroidery along the neck and edges.

“I’ll see you later,” Addie hugged me goodbye, making her way over to the scribes. I took a seat in the middle of the room.

In stark contrast to the sand-colored limestone prevalent throughout much of the palace, this room boasted walls crafted entirely from aged wood. The ceiling soared overhead, supported by vaulted beams of rich, dark mahogany that spanned the entirety of the space. The stained glass windows that adorned this room were all dark in their coloration, unlike the one in the library which had more pastels. Shades of ultraviolet, deep reds, oranges, and green depicted scenes of the king winning his crown and the period of stability that followed.

What stories used to be in those panes before King Elidas? Maybe a story of the courts or even the Primals. The throne itself sat in the center of an elevated stage with three stairs to climb to its top. Witnessing it, I didn’t think Lil had been entirely incorrect with her assessment. The throne’s fabric was the color of a deep blood red that looked to have the texture of velvet. But it was the structure itself that gave me pause. Instead of wood, the arms, legs, and back bore an uncanny resemblance to bone, the pale off-white hue tinged with hints of aged yellow. Curves and indentations suggested a skeletal form.

Gods, I hope that isn’t real.

Banners flanked the back wall sitting behind the throne. They didn’t represent the courts but bore the royal sigil, a circle with red edging, filled with darkness, and a large ruby with an onyx embedded into its core. Not every royal lineage boasted membership in the Court of Shadows, yet King Elidas made certain that everyone was well aware of his family's allegiance to the court.

I looked to the doorway and saw that Lil had arrived, Kadian and Oz not far behind her, talking to a group of girls from the third floor.

As usual, Lil was one of the best dressed in the room.

Having worn a jade dress with slits at its sides to highlight her curves, I could see Kadian watching her with every step she took.

I waved them over, having saved a few of the seats beside me.

The chairs were sturdy, also covered in velvet, and much more plush than the ones we’d been forced to sit in on the day of our arrival.

“Did you have a good afternoon?” I asked Lil as she sat next to me.

Kadian chose to sit next to her, and Oz placed himself at the end.

“I spent most of it getting ready,” she smiled at me, batting her eyelashes.

“I see that,” Unable to hold in my laugh, “You look beautiful.”

“She does,” Kadian said firmly without looking at us.

Ignoring him, Lil whispered in my ear, “He’s been in a mood. Not sure why.”

I shrugged at her.

I’ll check in with him later .

“I don’t see Marsh anywhere,” Lil remarked, knowing she was baiting me.

“He’s been moving people between Hadash and Azmeer. At least according to Illerium.”

Illerium said that Marsh would be back by this point, and Lil was right, I didn’t see him anywhere.

“He’ll be exhausted by the end of the day. You’ll just have to energize him, Bri,” she gave me a wink.

I couldn’t help but groan audibly in response.

“I don’t know why I tell you anything.”

We spoke amongst ourselves for the next several minutes as the remaining members of the Courts funneled into the room.

Silence fell when a tall individual who I hadn’t seen before entered.

He possessed a complexion of smooth chestnut, his bald head gleaming in the light.

He was dressed in flowing brown robes accented with intricate gold patterns and exuded an air of elegance.

With each step, he carried himself with a dignified bearing, his gilded staff in hand, crowned by a striking piece of stalagmite.

That must be from the cave .

I wonder if anything happened to the Pool of Vitality.

Following him were the princes.

Rai wore a small smirk on his face, while Alvar and Dainan appeared somber.

The last to enter was the king, my only indication being the crown that sat atop his head.

His appearance defied the depictions I’d encountered in paintings adorning the walls of Azmeer and the likenesses portrayed in the books I’d studied before arriving at the palace.

He’d been shown with dark hair, sun-kissed skin, and glowing but fierce eyes.

The face of a killer, the face of a ruler.

You would never have known him to be this man.

The once lustrous black of Elidas’ hair had faded, a mere echo of its former self, interspersed with strands of salt and pepper.

His eyes bore a melancholic gaze devoid of the vigor depicted in his portraits.

But it was his pallid complexion that caught my attention.

His skin, drained of its natural color, bore a sickly shade of greenish-gray.

The undeniable truth loomed—he was dying, his mortality laid bare for all of us to see.

The king clung to the arm of the woman who stood beside him, “That’s his new wife, Dainan’s mother,” Lil whispered in my ear.

Despite not being separated by many years of age, Dainan and his siblings didn’t share the same mother.

The king had taken many lovers and had legitimized his three children.

The affairs had supposedly stopped when he met Indara.

The rumor was that they were a love match.

I believed it by how she looked at him.

He moved slow, taking each step carefully as all moved aside, waiting for him to guide their way.

Throughout their journey, Indara’s gaze remained fixed on the king.

She allowed her husband to hold onto her as though she were his beacon in the darkness.

In that moment, it didn't matter if his image as a strong leader was at risk of being shattered. This was a king who was unafraid to declare his wife as his source of strength. It left me wondering if such a trait would be evident in his successor.

The princes stood on the stage, and I noticed that the darkness I had once thought to surround each of them only clung to Dainan. I wanted to ask Lil if she knew anything about it, but after our last conversation regarding him and the princes in general, I chose to hold off.

Everyone remained standing until the king took his seat on his throne. The queen stood beside him, his personal sentry.

“Good afternoon,” the robed gentleman said, everyone returned to their seats. “We welcome you to the Eternia, the annual festival honoring our Primal Giaxia.” It took me a moment, but I realized that this man was Qurasa, head of the Eternal Court. “We are saddened that our most sacred day has been overshadowed by the recent tragedy in Giaxia’s own lands of Hadash. We’re grateful to His Majesty the king for extending aid to us in our time of need.” He turned towards Elidas, bowing his head as the audience erupted into polite applause.

“In light of recent events, we will honor those who lost their lives. I will now read their names. Please observe a moment of silence for each name. When I have finished, we shall proceed to the offerings.”

We stood in solemn silence for the next several hours as the names were read, each one a painful reminder of the lives lost. The death toll had risen since my conversation with Illerium, with hundreds more added to the tragic count. I glanced at Oz and couldn’t help but notice the tears that streaked his cheeks. He had no doubt known some of those people. I only hoped that his family remained safe.

As the list of names came to an end, Qurasa bowed his head. "We offer these names to you, Giaxia, with the hope that you will guide them into the Eternities. May they find light, may they find peace, may they find You." The room remained hushed as Qurasa spoke further.

“Now, let us begin.”

Qurasa walked over to the side of the stage where the Master of Trials appeared. He handed Qurasa a scroll and with that, vanished. My breath caught in my throat as the scroll unfurled, the parchment crackling with the weight of countless hopes and fears.

“Understand that Giaxia's favor can be capricious, her preferences varying from year to year. Yet, I can assure you that many have pleased her this year, and a few have caught our attention." Qurasa's voice, steady and unyielding, filled the silent room as he began to unroll the scroll.

“If your name is read, it means that your offering has been deemed worthy, and you shall continue in the Courting. If you do not hear your name, you will be removed from Azmeer.”

The room had fallen so quiet and still that you could practically hear the trembling of hands in the audience. Every breath felt heavy, every heartbeat like thunder in my ears. The tension in the room was suffocating, a palpable force that pressed down on all of us. Each of us, standing on the edge of a precipice, unsure if we would fall or fly.

“Selaria Fowry, Humza Abduah, Stiora Ziggursted,” Qurasa began.

Each name echoed in the chamber, a drumbeat of fate that reverberated through my chest. The sound of it seemed to stretch time, each second dragging on like an eternity. My hands were clammy, my heart pounding so hard it felt as though it might burst from my chest. With each name that wasn’t mine, the knot in my stomach twisted tighter, winding itself into something unbearable. What will happen if I am forced to leave? The thought hit me like a hammer. If Kadian, Lil, or Oz stay, would they tell Marsh? Would they be able to send herbs to me? Kadian would want to help Dad. The questions swirled in my mind, each one more desperate than the last.

“Lilianna Towler, Iona Vorren, Izbetta Thali.”

I glanced at Lil, squeezing her arm as if to ground myself in this unbearable moment. She looked back at me, her eyes wide with relief. One down, but how many more to go?

Qurasa’s voice continued, each name falling like a drop of cold water on a fraying nerve.

The room was filled with the soft rustle of people shifting nervously, but I could hardly hear it over the pounding in my head. How many hopes and aspirations would be shattered in mere moments?

“Osforth Kadem, Tamra Kadem, Jehana Stoller.”

Two more, two more to go. My breath was shallow, my vision tunneling as I looked around Lil to see Kadian, his face as pale as mine felt. His eyes were fixed forward, his expression tense, his hands clenched into fists. There are still plenty of names; it will be fine. It has to be fine.

But with each passing second, each name that wasn’t mine or Kadian’s, the certainty that had once been there began to crumble. The room felt like it was closing in on me, the walls pressing closer, the air growing thicker. I tried to steady myself, to breathe, but my chest was tight, the panic clawing at my throat. Breathe, just breathe. I forced myself to think of the music from the pool, that beautiful, enchanting song weaving its notes through me. I wonder how many before me have heard it? How many had stood where I stood now, on the edge of ruin or glory. The memory wrapped around me like a thin veil, not enough to shield me from the fear but enough to keep me from collapsing under its weight.

I realized then that my eyes had locked onto the stage, onto the brothers. Dainan’s gaze met mine, sharp and intense. The shadows around him were moving, swirling in a way that wasn’t normal, even for him. They pulsed and writhed, more active, more agitated than ever before, as if they were reacting to something unseen, something just beneath the surface. They seemed almost alive, tendrils of darkness reaching out, probing the space between us, as though they could sense my fear, as though they were feeding on it.

My pulse quickened further, my heart hammering against my ribs. Why are they doing that? Why is he looking at me like that? I wanted to look away, to break the connection, but I couldn’t. It was like staring into a storm, mesmerizing and terrifying all at once.

Qurasa was nearing the end of the scroll, his voice steady but relentless. The closer he got to the final names, the more my panic grew. I could feel the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, the desperation clawing at my insides. I need to be here. I want to be here. I squeezed my eyes shut as if that could freeze the moment, stop the reality of failure from engulfing me, keeping the spark of hope alive just for a second longer.

“Ezalia Hyler, Brida Larrow, Kadian Taldot.”

Relief crashed over me like a wave, my knees nearly buckling under its force. I turned to Kadian, who was already smiling, his hand clasped by Lil’s in shared relief. My smile was shaky, my hands trembling as I reached out to steady myself. The world around me came back into focus, but my heart was still pounding, my chest still tight. I glanced back at the stage, back at Dainan, and saw that the shadows around him had calmed, retreating to their usual subtle movements.

Qurasa finished reading the names and rolled the scroll back up, his expression unreadable. “To the one hundred and twenty of you who shall be continuing, well done. Those of you whose names have not been spoken, we wish you well. Please proceed to your quarters and collect your things.”

Qurasa nodded to the king then took a step back as Alvar strode forward to the center of the platform. “Those of you continuing on, please proceed to the dining hall. Dinner will begin in thirty minutes.” He nodded to Qurasa, bowed to his father, and returned to his brothers.

My pulse had yet to return to normal. We made it through. Thank the gods, we made it through.

Before exiting the room, I hugged each of my friends, the relief oozing from every pore of me. “I don’t know if I could have stayed without you,” Kadian whispered as we embraced each other, his presence grounding me in the midst of my frayed nerves.

“I would insist on it,” I said.

“I told you, where you go, I go,” he smiled, the warmth in his voice breaking through the lingering chill in my bones.

As we exited the throne room, I couldn’t resist stealing a glance back at the king. There he sat, his queen kneeling beside him, her hand gently resting on his.