Page 35

“ W hat are you doing here?” Ezra’s eyes darkened as they focused in on his brother-in-law standing in the doorway.

Frederic raised his hands to his sides. “Not what you think I assure you. Your sister knows I’m here.”

The thought of his sister being at one of the Reveler’s midnight parties turned his blood cold. “Is she here?”

Frederic’s laugh bounced off the walls in the small room. “Heavens, no, what are you? Mad?”

Ezra rubbed his face. It was too late in the night to deal with Frederic. “Then why are you here?”

“I’ve been trying to track down Slatington. He owes me money and the bugger keeps forgetting to bring it to our meetings so I figured he’d be well stocked here.” Frederic leaned against the door jamb in a nonchalant way that had Ezra grinding his back molars.

“I heard there was a game going on in one of the back rooms tonight and that he’d be in attendance. Imagine my surprise to find you in one of these back rooms. Waiting for someone?”

Frederic’s raised his eye brow added to the cheekiness of his grin. Ezra rolled his eyes and groaned.

“I was. Now, if you’d leave me be you probably scared her off.”

Frederic looked around the empty room. “Aw, your usual girls wouldn’t be so picky. Most were up for the challenge, eh?” Frederic laughed. “You could always do it by yourself but-”

“Will you just leave?” Ezra bellowed.

Something about Frederic reminding him of his old ways grated him the wrong way. He didn’t like remembering those lost nights of random women with no ties, no emotion. He used to crave only that, but now, something had changed.

He refocused his rage onto his brother-in-law.

“You barged in here and disrupt my night. If you must know, I wanted to make sure this room was empty before I brought someone in here. Unlike you I find it rude to just walk through closed doors.” He said with a sniff.

Frederic chuckled. “Funny you should talk propriety in a place like this.”

Ezra’s head began to throb, a known reaction caused by spending too much time with Frederic. “Honestly, Frederic, I don’t have time for this or you. Now, be gone so I can unwind.”

Frederic remained unmoved. “Something troubling you, Ezra? Or, should I say, someone?”

Ezra huffed. “You know what? You have this room. I’ll find another.”

Ezra nearly knocked Frederic over as he barreled out of the room and down towards the main room. He needed another drink.

He came here tonight hoping to find someone who would help erase the memory of Beatrice from his mind.

Everywhere he went he thought he saw her, smelled her, heard her. She was in the crowds at the opera, she was smelling the flowers in the park. He found no refuge at night, her melodic laugh haunted his dreams and caused him to suddenly awake drenched in sweat and lust.

He passed several women who extended their hands, trying to pull his focus from his path to the bar.

“Ah, kind sir, wouldn’t you like to join us in here?” A voluptuous blonde pulled at his arm while her friend stepped in front of him.

“Two for one, kind sir.” She said with a wink behind her mask.

Ezra stopped and looked at the women. Both beautiful with bodies he would normally find enticing but he felt no attraction.

He frowned. “Not tonight, ladies. I appreciate the invitation. Perhaps another time.”

The lie tasted like sand on his tongue. There wouldn’t be another time. Perhaps, like Frederic, he has outgrown these parties. Only, Frederic outgrew them due to his marriage. Ezra wasn’t married, had no intention of doing so, so then why did this no longer whet his appetite?

He side stepped the two women as his heart thudded against his chest and he ignored it.

A small part of him had suspicions as to why he had a change of heart, but he refused to acknowledge it.

Much for his sanity than anything. He was too far set in his ways to let anything, or anyone for that matter, change his perspective.

He made his way down the hallway and stepped into the main room. The lights were dim and couples had paired off on various chairs and sofas. There was a small group in the one corner laughing and clinking their drinks together, sloshing their drinks onto themselves and the floor.

Ezra avoided that group as he made his way towards the bar tucked in the front corner. Has it always been this loud and raucous here?

That’s when he heard it. Her. More precisely, her laugh. The sound stopped him dead in his tracks. Surely he was hearing things. His eyes quickly skimmed the room and landed on the corner group that had several women giggling. One of them must have a similar laugh to hers.

His feet began to move when he heard her laugh ring out again. His pulse picked up and a sixth sense was telling him he wasn’t imagining it.

He looked back to the group in the corner, the sound wasn’t coming from them. It was coming from the front of the house. Ezra stepped over lounging bodies, and snuggling pairs and made his way to the front of the house.

Ezra stood staring at the bar. A lone figure sat on a stool in front of the bar. He knew that cloak.

It was large, black, and unremarkable in any way other yet he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, whose body it was covering. His fingers itched to reach out and grab it, to hold a piece of it, her.

He tightened his hands into fists as the realization dawned on him that if that cloak is hers, that meant that she was here, alone, without him. Even worse, what if she wasn’t here alone? What if she was here with someone?

The thought fueled his steps as he charged up to the bar.

“Looking for love, mistress?”

Ezra heard the woman’s question as the cloaked figure lowered the hood.

Long brown locks cascaded down the seated woman’s back.

Ezra’s mouth ran dry as his footsteps once again halted.

Flashes of their time together at Swarthmore’s played in his head.

His stomach squeezed at the memory of feeling so carefree and at ease with her that night.

He missed what her answer was so he stepped closer. He wanted to reach out and grab her, demand to know why she was here. But a part of him thought she was a mirage. He had envisioned her so many places over the past week he couldn’t be positive it was truly here even within feet of her person.

“Good. We can’t help with the first one, but I’m sure someone can help you with the latter.”

Beatrice laughed and the sound settled over him like a warm blanket. He was within reaching distance. All he had to do was extend his arm and he could touch her but something was holding him back.

“Looks like we may have a volunteer. Lucky girl.” The bar maid cooed as she motioned her head to Beatrice’s right.

“I don’t think the mistress will be here long enough for anyone else to volunteer.” A man stepped up on the other side of Beatrice pulling her focus.

Ezra stood dumbfounded as he watched as another man reached out and caressed her cheek.

Did she sigh into his hand?

“You’re too kind, sir. But I think I will just sit here and acclimate myself to the surroundings a bit more before I join in any fun.”

Ezra was torn between being proud of his mouse being able to ward off unwanted advances, and wanting to reach across her and toss the louse out of the house.

“Come now, puppet. The night is young and so are we. Why wait when the fun can start now?”

The man leaned over here causing Beatrice to lean away from him. “If you would like to have a fun night I suggest you back up or you won’t have much to participate with.”

Ezra quirked an eye brow. His eyes looked over the scene in front of him and it was then he noticed Beatrice was holding something long and sliver against the man’s groin.

The man’s face drained of color as he stepped back with his hands raised. “No need for a problem, mistress. I was only suggesting…”

“So was I.” Beatrice said with a bright smile.

The man dipped his head and retreated back to the group in the corner. He knew he didn’t like those people.

He returned his focus to the two women at the bar who were know sharing a laugh. Beatrice turned in her stool and hopped off. She raised her head and within seconds their eyes connected.

“Your Grace!” Her voice squeaked.

“Mouse.”

Beatrice’s eyes flew open. “What are you doing here?”

Graham cocked his head to the side. “I could be asking you the same question, but I think we both know the answer to that.”

Beatrice’s cheeks heated but she refused to drop her eyes. She was a grown woman, on the verge of being married, she had every right to claim something for her own before she took her vows. Men did it all the time, why couldn’t women?

“We do. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be on my way and you can be on yours.”

Beatrice refused to acknowledge the thought of him being here with another woman hurt her, especially since she was here to be with another man.

Another fact she refused to acknowledge was the small part of her was hoping he would be here to intercept her night and finally give her what she wanted from him.

However, instead a night of passionate lovemaking with him they were currently in a heated staring contest, with both of them refusing to be the first to flinch.

“You’re not going anywhere, Mouse.” He snarled.

Beatrice clucked her tongue. “You’re no longer in charge of me.”

Graham licked his lips as he cracked his neck. “Is that a challenge?”

Beatrice’s whole body came alive in response. Colors became more vivid, sounds were more acute. Her body temperature rose and her clothes began to itch.

“And if it is?” She quirked an eyebrow.

Her world was turned upside down as he hoisted her over her shoulder and carried her out of the house.

He placed her down when his carriage pulled up.

“You know, you need to stop carrying me around like that here. People are going to think I don’t know how to walk.”

Graham ignored her as he pulled her into the carriage and hit the roof signaling his drive to go.

“So is this it then? You carry me out here like a cave man and say nothing?”

She reached her hand out of the carriage and slapped on the hood. To both of their surprise the carriage stopped.

She smirked as she reached for the door. Graham’s hand shot out and stopped her. His other hand hit the roof and he barked out, “Go!”

Once again the carriage began its journey, bumping along the back roads of the city.

Graham sat still, his outstretched hand still holding hers, his eyes never dropping contact.

Beatrice licked her dry lips. Tension was pulsing off of him in waves. She hated not knowing where she stood with him.

She thought he was done with her but right now his eyes were telling a different story.

“You should not have been there. What were you thinking?” He ground out.

His voice was low and menacing but he finally released her hand. She cradled her hand against her chest, rubbing where he held it. It didn’t hurt, but the loss of his touch was unbearable.

“I was thinking I had one last item to check off my list.”

Graham laughed dryly. “That blasted list.”

“It means something to me.”

“Your ruination?” His eyes were cold and black.

Beatrice laughed as she shrugged her shoulders. “Ruination means nothing to a spinster.”

“You could have been hurt. You are no where near ready to handle a party like that on your own.”

“I thought I handled myself just fine.” She pulled out the letter opener she held against the man. “I started carrying this with me after the first night we met. I figured if nothing else I should carry some sort of protection with me.”

Graham rubbed his temples as he leaned his head back against the seat. “You think a letter opener would stop a man from getting what he wants?”

“Well, if he was someone like you I think just offering something he wants would cause him to run for the hills.” She chided.

Graham looked on in stunned silence that had Beatrice smiling. “You can say you don’t want me, that’s fine if you want to lie to yourself. You once told me you know how to kiss without it meaning anything to you. I was naive enough to believe it.”

Her eyes drifted over him. His body was stiff and on edge, energy simmered along his skin, he was like a cornered animal waiting for the right time to pounce.

“But you can’t tell me you felt nothing during our last kiss. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

“That’s preposterous.” He snapped.

“Then tell me, Your Grace, why am I sitting here? In your carriage?” She peeked outside at the passing scenery. “Presumably going to your house?”

Beatrice watched as Graham’s cravat bobbed with his swallow.

She sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I think you should know that I have agreed to marry Amos.”

Beatrice had hoped for a slight shift in his demeanor, anything that would signal his opinion on the subject one way or another but the man remained motionless.

“I have no grand fantasies about what my life will be like with him, but I do know he can offer me the safety and security of a married woman with the freedoms of a spinster.” She lifted a shoulder. “It is an offer I cannot refuse. However…”

He shifted in his seat.

She noted the movement and continued. “However, I have not given up on my list. I want to enter into my marriage knowing what it’s like to be with a man. And not just a man who is with me because we’re married. I want… ”

Without warning Beatrice’s voice caught in her throat. “I want to know,” she stopped to swallow and regain her composure. “I want to know what it’s like to be with someone who wants me.”

Tears gathered in her eyes. This was her last chance to not only finish her blasted list, but to give herself something that truly mattered to her. The choice to give herself to someone of her choosing, with no rules, no made up society roles, just her and her wishes.

“Please, Your Grace.”

“Ezra.” His voice cracked under the weight of the word. “If we’re going to do this, you’re calling me by my God-given name.”

“Please, Ezra.”