Page 192 of The Chains You Defy

If I worked harder, everyone would continue looking at me with untainted affection. What if the members of the Cuirt stopped including me because I didn’t strive to be better? Would Cantarlann throw me out?

These prospects were more than I was able to bear, and fresh lances of agony shot through my chest. My already weakened legs buckled to the point where only Cantarlann’s aid prevented me from collapsing.

“What’s the next step? What will I have to do?” My desperation tasted like the awful cabbage dish my mother used to cook, and the memory drove tears into my eyes.

“Don’t cry, sweet thing. I’m sure you’ll do great.” The male looked softly at my distressed face and cupped my cheek with his hand. “If you are serious about our community, then it’s time to leave your ties behind, don’t you think?”

“My ties?”

“Yes. Those invisible strings that bind you. They’re vile chains, preventing you from advancing in the right way.”

Everything in me rebelled. I wasn’t tied down.

A rusty blade sawed at my insides as I understood he’d hinted at the divine magic binding me to Dion as his Amplifier.

No.

I wanted to keep this blessing. The binding wasn’t a chain, just a connection.

But—

Wasn’t this cause so much bigger than me and my sensitivities?

Sorrow radiated through me.

Oh.

True, unraveling the tie wouldn’t be possible.

Relief hit me so strongly that the sensation turned physical.

“The only one I have can’t be cut.”

“Oh, but the Graigh can, precious Nayana. There’s an ancient ritual, and they’re offering their services to you as part of today’s ceremony.”

Gods, what should I do?

No, I didn’t want that.

I couldn’t be separated from Dion. Not now, not ever.

Despair clouded my senses, but Cantarlann hugged me close again.

“I know the prospect is scary, but imagine everything you can do for the greater good.”

His hand painted soothing circles all over my back as his words pierced through the fog in my brain and latched onto my emotions.

“The greater good. Hmm—yes.”

“Oh, wonderful, Nayana.”

What?

Had I just agreed?

No—I had to tell him no.

That hadn’t been what I’d meant when I’d mumbled yes. I’d just been musing.